After writing an article at my clan's forum, they suggested writing it ar MFO or AoMH. I don't know if they were completely serious or not, but I did anyway.

ES should make a new game 'Age of N00bs'.

BONUS!
Not only woould it stop n00bs winging about smurfing (unless xperts bought the game, which they wouldn't), but it would also stop intermediate/xpert players getting matched up with uber n00bs.

Info
ESO will be slightly faster with no n00bs only chatroom. Age of n00bs has a better graphics engine and much more cheats, including the photon man and the big daddy car. Also the big daddy car can be trained from the new garage building.

Online play:
In online play, n00bs will choose between advanced setup or quick setup, like AoM. in Advanced setup they will have the choice to turn cheats on or off, however in quick setup, cheats can't be turned off. The THRILL OF VICTORY cheat can not be used however.

Single player:
ES will try hard to get the n00biest AI. Hardest apparently has the IQ of a retarded monkey.

Single player AI tests:
Easiest as zeus begins by casting the bolt GP on a chicken then resigning. Hardest as zeus casts bolt on an elephant, then uses it's villies to gather from it. ES are concerned that nobody will be able to beat hardest and will take appropriate measures in the next patch.

Villagers:
one of the biggest problems with n00bs is not making any villagers, and so ES has made a limit of 6 villlagers. N00bs will be hard-pressed to get 6 by 20 minutes. Gathering speed has been sped up so n00bs can make huge FU armies before attacking, faster. Example: wood gatherer gathers wood at 70.26 per second.

New victory conditions:
*six villagers*
Of course, being matched up with n00bs is annoying, so a new victory condition *6 villagers* has been implemented to reward n00bs for maxing out on villies, hence making them better. If you have 6 villies, YOU WIN.
*raiding*
Also to help n00bs improve raiding skills, if you kill three non-army units, YOU WIN.
*barracks*
To help n00bs improve army-making speed, there is a new *Barracks* victory condition. If you build three barracks before 6 minutes a 3:00 countdown begins. It's kinda like a wonder only you have to make units to defend the barracks, thus making n00bs BUILD MILITARY BEFORE 7 MINUTES. It is unlikely anyone will win (ever) with the *barracks* victory condition, but it was worth a try.

New gods: AON is just in concept now, but some god choices to choose from could be: an00bis and h4x0r. H4x0r's GP exploits the system, drop-tricking one enemy out of the game. An00bis' GP, Plague of n00bs, Summons eight n00bs from other games on AON to help.
A possibly OP strategy: the 50 min h4x0r rush is quite common among playtesters.

Age advancement
n00bs cant be bothered getting 400!! food, so all units, GP's and techs are available in archaic. If a player wishes to advance, they can, but for no benefit at all.

what a good game it could be...

Note: I don't really mean any of this. no offence to newbies.'Twas just a joke. If ES decides to go ahead with AoN, then they have my permission.

[This message has been edited by ih8abreviations (edited 10-21-2003 @ 10:36 PM).]