Hinamatsuri

I second this, loved this show too!

Season One of Cells at Work!! is ended. And wow. First off, this poor sap has horrible luck.
1) Pneumococcus
2) Abrasion (with Staphylococcus Aurelius)
3) Influenza (two strains!)
4) Food poisoning with parasitic attack
5) Cedar pollen allergy
6) Cancer
7) Actual infection by Staphylococcus Aurelius
8) Heat stroke
9) Hemorrhagic shock from a head wound

Secondly... I really do recommend this anime. It's great. It's fun. It's cute. It's hilariously bloody. It's even educational! And now I will shut up about it.

Because you're all my wonderful little boat sisters!

So... SAO is back guys.

Also, RIP Sipia reviews SAO, I wanted to see him shit on it some more.

[This message has been edited by Mithril Knight (edited 10-08-2018 @ 10:39 PM).]

I was thinking about my Kanecolle reviews the other day.

Yaaaaaaaaaasssssssssssss kweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen... Erizabeth Kurasu!

Me too, actually... I need to finish mine as well. My glorious walls of naval text have gone dormant too long.

Speaking of bote:


EDIT: Oh sweet. Youjo Senki is getting a movie.

But that also means they're probably going to end the series there.

[This message has been edited by Kousoku Senkan Moffgou (edited 10-09-2018 @ 08:49 PM).]

Anone, anone... https://www.theverge.com/2018/10/24/18019464/4chan-anon-anime-haruhi-math-mystery

I wonder what I could watch. I fancy dipping my toe back in, and I have finished deep space nine now...

What do you feel in the mood for? Action? Slice of life? Romcom?

Sorry to double-post on this topic, but... this was actually really interesting. You can taste some spin, though.

https://www3.nhk.or.jp/nhkworld/newsroomtokyo/features/20181015.html?fbclid=IwAR1gl_7JppXvU6dRIAHvzqhHaBreTAHSDvF7JDL4jR6uhkIsvDZoF1xoBrA

Well, I agree that it's good to use whatever works to get people interested in the topic of history, especially such critical events. But it does worry me that everything has to be coated in kawaii for that. It just doesn't mesh well with the graveness that this memory carries.

And I can personally attest that popular media are an excellent way to engage especially young people, but... it's also important to remember that media, especially video games and anime, are not in the market to show you a necessarily accurate or truthful version of events. They're here to make a profit first and foremost. It's fiction based on real events, but fiction nonetheless, and should never be the primary source of information on any given topic. Sounds like an obvious statement, but it's easy to forget from where you learned a history fact when you're young and your head is constantly being crammed with new info. Kids and teens aren't idiots, but they usually aren't the greatest critical thinkers either.

Upholding public morals can be dangerous.

Well, I agree that it's good to use whatever works to get people interested in the topic of history, especially such critical events. But it does worry me that everything has to be coated in kawaii for that. It just doesn't mesh well with the graveness that this memory carries.

Nah, you sucker them in with the cute...

And then drop the 2000 tons of rusted steel on them and say, "THIS IS WHAT IT REALLY IS."

Better that than, "The Second World War was a period of great economic and technological progress for the Empire of Japan UNTIL AMERICA NUKED US FOR NO GOOD REASON." And Japan has been very secluded from war. Oh, they're in a rough spot to be sure... but in exchange for basically being banned from offensive warships, the US Navy has been their shield. That's why China blustered without actually committing to anything. They wouldn't be fighting JMSDF destroyers and frigates... but the Seventh Fleet's carriers, planes, and missile batteries.

And why China's naval construction policies and tactical doctrines are built around countering the Seventh instead of Japan's helicopter carriers.

But yeah, that's why Japan's right has been quietly stirring the pot. And spreading it to the kids. Hell, there were--rather are--concerns that these Kawaii WW2 things whitewash history too much. I mean, KanColle was pretty exclusively Axis-only for a while. And that was raising eyebrows.

But if instead of fetishizing imperialism, it gets people interested in history and what happened to these ships, and why it happened... well, that'd be good.

[This message has been edited by Kousoku Senkan Moffgou (edited 11-05-2018 @ 06:09 PM).]

https://www.facebook.com/moeshitpost/videos/513324609178869/?permPage=1

How many can you name without cheating?

Recognized like 7ish but I dunno any of their names

Mou, Sendai-san... you have to play the game correctly deesu.

I'm sowwy!

Proud to say the answer is less than three. Where's my prize?

Here! *hugs Sipikaze-chan extra tight*

That was neat.

And now, a lovely Christmas present for my little seagoing imoutos! We're quite behind, so we're gonna need to get... working!!



Episode 6: Destroyer Division Six and the Battle of the Curry Seas!

This week's outing takes the focus off Fubuki. We open with pensive harp playing over Mutsu telling Nagato that, "At last the time has come."

0:11 - "I've been ready to sacrifice everything for this Naval District since the moment I became secretary ship." Man. This must be serious. While the series has rebounded a bit from Kisaragi's death, these girls can die at anytime. And Nagato has to order them to the front lines... even though she's one of the most powerful battleships of the Imperial Navy. Has to be killing her. Maybe enough for her to charge out there herself? Mutsu even gets a bit teary-eyed as she notes how her sister is unwilling to share her burdens.


2:03 - Lolis in the shower.(-5)

The penalty is only five because they are wearing towels. Looks like they're mostly washing their hair.


2:22 - So here we meet the eldest of the four sisters in Destroyer Division 6. Akatsuki is the lead ship of their subclass of the Fubukis, consisting of Akatsuki, Inazuma, Ikazuchi, and Hibiki. This being the KanColle anime, they have the following personality traits:
Akatsuki - Says "reidi" a lot (Lady). She's obssessed with being a grown-up lady, but is quite childish. Likes asserting her status as onee-chan.
Ikazuchi - You can rely on her! To say that, anyway. Considers her onee-chan to be stupid and childish (because... she is) and so constantly tries to take charge.
Inazuma - She says "nanodesu" like Yuudachi says "poi."
Hibiki - The white-haired Russian one who says "khorosho." Better known to this community as "animu girl holding Soviet Union Ball that got posted constantly in the Polanball SS."

To underscore this, Ikazuchi is helping Inazuma wash her hair. Akatsuki is ranting that Inazuma cannot be a true lady if she can't wash her hair, and then yells at Hibiki for leaving without washing her hair.

2:36 - But fortunately, Akagi is back in the tub. Because we needed something to offset the towel-wrapped lolis--ERR I MEAN! So she can wisely comment on what good friends the sisters are! (-1)

Also, we reestablish the meme that Akagi is a complete resource glutton, especially for bauxite. This is a game mechanics reference, actually. See, bauxite is a resource in the KanColle browser game. It's used for planes, and so is vital to carriers. But Akagi had a minor bug; when she'd repair her airwing and replenish losses, the cost in bauxite would actually be equivalent to building an entirely new air wing. So, lower-level admirals that got Akagi quickly found their reserves drained by this bug if they dared sortie her. You get bauxite through leveling up production facilities, or through running expeditions... like the one DesDiv 6 just back from, with a nice fat bucket o' bauxite.


3:00 - And then a suds-blinded Inazuma slips on some foam and falls on her widdle head. Smash cut to comedy bump while they're all sipping some milk in the dressing room. Oh, right, she also says, "Hawawawa!" A lot.


3:12 - Nothing really major, other than destroyers typically run daily expeditions for resources. But Ikazuchi's moefang is kawaii. (+1)



3:23 - Akatsuki does have a valid complaint about running expeditions.


"It's not ladylike at all!"


3:34 -


(+1)


3:44 - These little girls have a rather good knowledge of English for being Imperial Japanese Navy warships reincarnated.


3:47 - More importantly, the plot finally gets going when Hibiki-chan notices a poster on the wall for the Annual Naval District Curry Contest.


3:56 - But first, another diversion! But it's okay... because it's Popey and Popey's onee-san!


3:59 - PAN PAKA PAAAAAAAAAAAAN! (Popey)


4:01 - PAN PAKA PAN! (Biki and Ikazuchi)


4:04 - "Is that supposed to be some kind of greeting?!" Yes, Akatsuki. Yes it is. And because it adorably featured your sisters playing along with Popeboat, it gets points for cuteness. (+2)


4:16 - So Takao and Atago are here to set up why the curry contest is important. Curry is served once a week, is beloved by our shipgirls. It is a "sublime dish that guides fleet girls throughout their days." I believe this is a reference to JMSDF tradition of serving curry on Fridays, which started in the Imperial Navy. Anyway, whoever wins the contest will be considered the number one cook of the district and have their recipe served for a year.


4:56 - So, Akatsuki has decided to enter the contest, as preparing curry is something a lady must be proficient in! And Inazuma wants to do it because it means people will rely on her.


5:40 - So the four sisters in their little serafukus put their hands and chant "FAITO!"


NANI?!


5:42 - O HAI MOFF

Kongou is going to enter the curry contest, and is quite certain she'll win. She's going to make her special, hot English-style curry. And then Teitoku will eat Kongou's curry for a year, and surely she'll win his heart!


6:12 - BUT ANOTHER CHALLENGER APPEARS! Ashigara also intends to dominate the curry competition with her wild, hardore, ultra-spicy curry! And she's not alone...



7:04 - And Nagato-san surreptitiously watches the lolis--err, I mean, DesDiv 6 from the doorway.


7:27 - Initial bickering among the sisters, centered around the "traits" I mentioned at the beginning... until Hibiki pointed asks, "How do you make curry," to the dumbfounded stares of her comrades.

...Hee. Comrades.

Right, the reason she keeps speaking Russian blurbs is Hibiki was given to the Soviets at the end of the war as a war prize. She was rechristened Verniy... hence all the communism stuff with her character. She does have a hammer and sickle on her upgraded form's hat. So she's also the smaller boat in those commie anime memes I post. We got a history, Verniy and me.

A strictly fraternal one, you degenerates.

Still, her tendency to be the bucket of ice water over the insanity is nice. (+1)


8:08 - Speaking of our little Soviet boat, in the montage of the girls learning how to prepare curry, she's gone and nicked her finger chopping carrots. Eh, popping it in her mouth is enough for her... while her sisters grab the first aid kids. TRUE STRONK RUSSIAN

(But is actually Japanese)


8:12 - The curry ingredients are in the pot! Just need it to boil, and then add the curry powder. But our girls are impatient to see the results of their labor. Fortunately, Inazuma hits on a brilliant idea to turn up the heat!


Adorable WW2 destroyers cooking curry with flamethrowers. WHY IS THIS NOT A BIGGER SHOW? (+2)


8:51 - And the pot has been reduced to smoking slag. There's actually a game mechanic thing behind this, too. I know, I know. That's actually one of the reasons why it's not bigger: this is an advertisement for the game that only makes sense if you played it or are otherwise familiar with it. The torches are consumable instant-builds; they might be premium, if I had to guess. So, they tried to instant build curry.

AoK and SWGB cheat codes work better. FORCEBUILD for the win!


10:02 - So after some recrimination, self-flagellating, and then coming back together for the girls, experimental equipment testing ship Yuubari comes along! And she very nicely makes them a brand new pot, using the bauxite from their expedition.

Sadly, lumping all this together to shorten things up does mean I have to skip over darkest joke in the show. But, again, it's a game mechanic thing.

And we've had quite enough of that.


11:03 - So, off to Mamiya's to ask the mistress herself how to make good curry. Turns out even a bunch of elementary school girls know there is no spice called love.


11:12 - However, she does know a legendary spice... err, legendary bauxite. To put in the food. I mean, whatever, they're boats.

Anyway, it's legendary, and since running expeditions is what Des Div 6 excels at... OFF WE GO!


11:52 - Epic fail. Womp womp.


12:03 - So Akatsuki throws a tantrum and wants out of the contest. This is proving to be far more work than she wanted.


12:10: "HAST THOU EXERTED ALL POSSIBLE EFFORTS?" Nagato isn't gonna let her lolis buckle so easily. <_<

It's fine to put a stop to the work... "if you can hold your head high and say you did everything you could."


12:29 - And the girls get up, say they still can try. They don't need no stinking gimmicks! YAY! And Nagato gives a little smile.


12:49: And we are at the tournament! Nagato will be judging, Kirishima announcing while Naka does the ground work with the mic. And our contestants are:
Sipiboat!
Moffboat and Hiei!
Destroyer Division Six!
First Carrier Division, Akagi and Kaga!
Fifth Carrier Division, Shokaku and Zuikaku!


13:48 - And... voted as the fleet girl you most want to marry, it's Haguro! And voted as the fleet girl everyone wants to see married... Ashigara. >_>

Run, Naka. Haguro can only hold her sister back so long. Recall back to Episode 2. when Ashigara was a bit testy in class because she didn't get anyone at her mixer. Fitting that we're discussing a Christmas cake with 10 minutes left in Christmas day.


14:24 - Adorable snailwife does adorable laugh. (+1)


14:29 - ALLEZ CUISINE


14:34 - Oh, wait, we need our weekly yuri party with Ooi and Kitakami. They're watching from a rooftop because why the poi not. KTKM isn't too big on curry, but really likes beef stew. Well, well, what does Ooi claim is her specialty... and the dish of ideal wives and mothers? Well, KTKM expresses interest in trying it, completely oblivious to the intense yandere field that Ooi is generating. Okay, back to the contest.


15:21 - So Kongou is making a nice golden curry soup... but whoops! She forgot the ingredients! How embarassing.

Fortunately, Hiei to the rescue with...

WHAT THE HELL IS THAT


DEAR GOD WHAT HAVE YOU DONE, HIEI?!

Well, that explains this lovely comic.



15:56 - "Okay, Hiei! Let's try it together!" KONGOU! IT'S F**KING PURPLE. YOUR GOLDEN CURRY SOUP IS PURPLE AND SMOKING. STAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHP


16:00 - Wellp...


And leads to...



16:11 - And Team Bongou is out. Now, off to watch CarDiv 1.


16:21 - STOP EATING THE POTATO CHUNKS KAGA JUST CUT, AKAGI

And again...

And... it's a bit tiresome. (-1)


16:40 - In the cameo for our main characters, Mutsuki turns to Fubuki and quickly reassures that Akagi just thinks resupplying is really important and isn't some kind of deviant at all. However, the reaction is... "The way she's eating... *kyaa* I WANT TO FEED AKAGI-SENPAI!"

Have you gotten that this is supposed to be the funny one? Yeah.

"Koi da ne."
"Koi poi."

Hilarious. (-1)


16:56 - So now we look at Zuikaku and Shokaku prepping their curry. Oh, no! Shokaku got some curry on her skirt. Historically, these ships had amazingly opposite luck despite deploying together. Basically, Shokaku was frequently sent back to the docks after being mauled over and over. A deeply unlucky ship. This is reflected in the game with her dismal luck score.

Plus, curry stains are hard to get out of fabric. And while Zuikaku is showing onee-san where the stain is... Shokaku falls over. And her skirt is still in Zui's hand. Pink string panties, eh? (-1)


17:38 - Kirishima's response... "Thank you! I was waiting for that." NANI?!


17:42 - Okay, now we're watching Sippy--err, Shimakaze! ^_^


17:46 - Aaaaand she is pulling a bag out of some boiling water. And pouring the contents next to a pile of rice on a plate.


17:39 - I'm not really a big Shimakaze fan, but this is pretty frigging adorable.



17:54 - "Hey, Shimakaze-chan... is that just a pre-bought instant curry pouch?"
"Huh? It's fast."
"Um, just because it's fast doesn't mean..."


17:59 - Hee. (+1)


Well, now Sipia's gone and gotten disqualified from the curry contest. So Kongou KOed, CarDiv 5 pantsed, CarDiv1 essentially boiling water, and Shimakaze quickly eating her entry to Naka's shock and awe.


18:26 - "With the way the other teams are acting, we're sure to win!"
"We'll see about that."


18:34 - Ashigara offers samples... that are so hot they numb the mouth yet have a delicious flavor.


18:54 - And a quick cut to a sweating Nagato staring intently and gulping audibly.

And now shit goes downright David Lynch Anime.


19:06 - The Hungry Wolf notes she's been at this a lot longer than the destroyers... "And more than anything, the burden I bear is a greater one."
"What do you mean?!"
"I need womanly skills to make sure my next attempt is a successful one! I need the honor of being the number one cook! ...I'm almost out of time!"

'CAUSE SHE'S A CHRISTMAS CAKE (-1)


19:28 -


Oh. I guess Akagi and Kaga aren't out yet. But yes, way to cast a horrible pall, Ashigara. Kirishima's right; you are trying to break your students' hearts without mercy.

And Haguro's tears... "Please forgive my sister. I can't bear to watch her drowning herself in drink anymore!" Isn't this is the comedy episode? Yes, you're doing the battle/action sequence music for this, but...


19:49 - And the destroyers drop to their knees under the weight of the atmosphere. But Nagato's words against encourage them and steel them against giving up. And the other boats are cheering them on... mostly because Ashigara made things weird.


20:46 - Not that the Wolf isn't done. That has to be one of the best Ojou-sama laughs ever. "You little girls think you can withstand the burdens of my life?!"

But the four sisters get back up... into this. Before on top, after on bottom.


It's just a curry competition!


21:28 - So two plates are set forth... guess CarDiv 1 did eliminate themselves.


21:41 - So, we start with Ashigara and Haguro's curry... and Nagato immediately sweats profusely as she chews. Then the destroyers' curry.


22:05 - It's hard to determine a winner... but one must be chosen. And the winner is...

...

...

...

THE LOLIS!


22:17 - Afterward, Nagato and Mutsu are in the war room, with Mutsu congratulating Nagato on a job well done.


22:25 - Aftermath seems to show Ashigara crying sideways about two feet to either side. Poor thing. Maybe if every unseen male in this universe wasn't a horrible lolicon, Ashigara wouldn't be so depressed.


22:28 - "Aren't you glad Destroyer Division Six's mild curry will be the curry for the next year?" AH-HA! "You really can't handle the spicy stuff, can you, Nagato?"

Oi. Don't tell Mutsu to shut up, you contest-rigging musclebrain.

And fade out on the exhausted destroyers, nodding off around their shiny new trophy.

So, this actually used to be one of my favorite episodes for its sheer silliness. Now it's one of my least favorite. I still get some smiles from cuteness or satirizing its concept.

TOTAL SCORE: -1

PREVIOUS NAVAL ENGAGEMENTS
Episode 1
Episode 2
Episode 3
Episode 4
Episode 5

[This message has been edited by Kousoku Senkan Moffgou (edited 12-26-2018 @ 00:41 AM).]

Honestly, I'm impressed by the effort and honesty you put into that review. Kudos.

Watery waifus!

Gettin' wet and wild up in here.

Episode 7: I Hate Carrier Group One!

We open on Ooyodo listening to some Morse signals... but then we cut to a deep underwater shot... with the implication that the Abyssals are listening, too. Hmm, this sounds familiar. And that could be a problem, as she takes the message to Nagato and Mutsu, informing the message contains full details on the upcoming Operation FS, targeted at Abyssal Base MO. All while spoopy organ music plays.

Good, f**k Missouri. They put cheddar on their pizza there and it's sin before the laws of both God and man.


0:44 - Yup, back under the sea to a close up of an approaching Abyssal, which raises its head to reveal a human face. This is a Wo-class carrier.


Man, that hat looks heavy. Bet towards the end of the day she tends to be... crabby. Oh, and spoopy eye flash to let you know this is significant.


2:20 - "BANINGU... LAAAAAAAABU!" We jump straight into the action with Moffboat firing a pair of shells into the face of an Abyssal cruisertowermonster thing. And cheering, "Hit!" followed by a thumbs up to Fubuki and an adorable "YEI!" (Yay!). (+1)


2:25 - Some kind of subtitling glitch. Torpedoes inbound from the Abyssals, Ooi calls for Kitakami. Kitakami gives a response that sounds suspiciously like "poi," in which case BITCH YOU STEP OFF YUUDACHI'S TURF! Anyway, they do some kind of torpedo-dodging ballet. Fubuki is all, "Stop showing off before you get blown up, shitheads."


2:40 - Ah, because they're part of Operation MO the next day. Can't have the squad down. And goddammit, another subtitle glitch. I'll have to watch the Dub at this rate.

So, in the dub, Kongou says, "Shabam!" instead of "Hit!" And the exchange during the torpedoes incoming is, "Kitakami, here!" "Right!" *grab hands and do glorious yuri pirouette of evasion*

And Fubuki's reply is to, "Tomorrow I'll let you see my amazing Kitakami-sama be even more amazing," (JP) with "Oh boy, can't wait." (EN)

What, did you think I was kidding about bringing the dub in if I had to? Oh, ye botes of little faith. And, for what it's worth, the KanColle dub is halfway decent. They got Alexis Tipton to do Kongou... which I guess means something because I never heard of her before this, but she's apparently a big name in the dubbing community.


2:55 - Ah. So, they weren't even supposed to hit the enemy. Makes sense if they're supposed to sortie as a carrier group the next day. They just wanted to fine tune their gear before the big engagement... and ran into the baddies. Sounds like you've got really good intel and recon assets. -_-


3:07 - But, Buki's train of thought is interrupted by another spat between Kaga and Zuikaku. Kaga won't let Zuikaku pass in front of her to launch her planes, and then pulls of a pretty dickish kill-steal with her level bombers after Zuikaku's torpedo bombers have dropped their fish against an enemy destroyer. Tsk tsk.

So Zui complains, Kaga ripostes... and I think...


3:40 - That maybe Zuikaku is about to call down lightning?



3:48 - So despite Fubuki's warning that major capital ships should not be the first target seen by enemy ships, or closest to their guns and torpedoes, a pissed-off Zuikaku forges ahead. And she's so focused on showing up Kaga, that she misses the giant phallus rocketing toward her in the water.


3:55 - No, it's not me being crude. It's the animators.


So, the torpenis is charging at her... and she doesn't see it. In naval parlance, this is what's known as a Very F**king Bad thing. Carriers are full of shock-sensitive and flammable objects, like their own fuel, aviation gasoline, hundreds of thousands of rounds of autocannon ammuntion, aerial bombs and torpedoes... and have very little armor. Also, they have giant hangar decks that are just big, open spaces where these flammable things are hurriedly carted about. So...


3:56 - Fubuki spots the incoming, but Zuikaku is so surprised that she just gawks at for a precious instant. Kaga bites her lip and charges forward, knocking Zuikaku aside and taking the hit. Zui gasps, Fubuki screams Kaga's name...


4:05 - Smash cut to Nagato talking to the invisible admiral. They're discussing something about how the enemy was able to get the drop on them in Episode 3. Mutsu interrupts to report that Fubuki's fleet has sent an emergency message.


4:31 - As you can see, Kaga's pretty banged up by a single torpedo hit.

Fubuki tries taking blame, as flagship, but Kaga's not having any of it. She claims she went too far ahead of the formation. She very pointedly doesn't mention that she was saving Zuikaku's turkey.


4:57 - Of course, Zui's pride just cannot take that. In front of the entire gathering, including Atago, Takao, Des Div 6, Nagato, and Mutsu, she snaps, "Stop showing off! You took that torpedo for me." She cannot even raise her eyes to everyone else as she explains what really happened. She wants Kaga to be mad at her; at least it would be something better than pity.


5:10 - But Kaga matter-of-factly points that if Zuikaku, in her unprepared, unfocused state, had taken the hit... she would've been obliterated. Kaga was able to adjust how she got hit from "fatal" to "crippling." She even notes, in her calm tones, "I cannot allow any of the Admiral's ships to be lost, even Carrier Group Five. I simply bet on the small hope I saw in that desperate situation, and I won." (+1)

Yeah, this is a bit heavy after the cute curry contest.


6:05 - Kongou tries to encourage everyone, mentioning the repair buckets (her exact words in the subtitle are "instant repair") but Tone and Mutsu point out that's not happening. While they've been retaking the seas, it also means their oversea supply lines are lengthening. They have plenty of fuel and steel, but there are no buckets. Akagi's trip to the docks from the last episode hasn't ended yet. Now, again, this is game mechanic stuff. Instant repairs are something every worthwhile admiral stockpiles. And you would never, ever launch a major campaign without a healthy supply. So basically, the player-insert character... really frigging sucks.


6:26 - Mutsu notes, with the ops schedule, there's no way they can wait for Kaga. In fact, the carrier group needed should have already deployed.


6:30 - But then a wild Shokaku appears! She volunteers to go in Kaga's place.


6:58 - So with all the plans shot to hell, Bucky is having a stress cry with Poi and Mutsuki? She thoughts were going so well, but it turns out tomorrow's op is the first major mission they've had as a unit. And the lineup has been changed, bringing in a new face. Plus this has really disrupted her confidence in being a flagship for such an irregular fleet. Nice to see some character flaws. (+1)

Though, I do imagine it's more so Mutsuki and Yuudachi have something to do, since they're all in separate fleets.


7:55 - Well, I say "irregular fleet" but while encouraging Fubuki, Yuudachi prefers a more direct approach. "A group of weirdos like that would've, like, all split up immediately!" (+1)


8:13 - So Fubuki goes to see Zuikaku, who is sulking over the washcloth bunny that Kaga made. Of course, she tries getting all passive-aggressive. "Well, I'm UNHARMED because of someone's meddling!" But then Bucky gets called to the principal's--err, Admiral's--office! Uh-oh!


8:42 - So, naturally, like a schoolgirl, she thinks she's going to be yelled at for getting a major capital ship severely damaged. A fair concern. So she announces herself, steels herself... and marches in. No, I mean marches.

(+1) for the lolz

Nagato tells Fubuki to relax, she's not here to get yelled at, and that the admiral thinks she's doing a good job. So good that she will decide on Shokaku's request to replace Kaga. Fubuki agrees.


10:00 - But now we have some grave news that Nagato needs to share. But not with us! Guess we're not good enough 'cause we're not flagships!


10:23 - Hey, it's Yuubari again! She's leading the support fleet backing up Fifth Fleet's carrier task force. We also have confirmation of other districts with their own fleets, and name drop several popular ships: Shouhou, Aoba, Furutaka, Kako, Kinugasa, and fan favorite sisters Tenryuu (who appears in the movie) and her sadistic imouto Tatsuta. Nagato orders Fubuki to deploy her own fleet down the epic waterslide of awesomeness. Zuikaku apologizes for dragging her nee-san into it, but Shokaku smiles and says she's happy to finally get to go on a mission with Zui.


11:35 - So let's have Akagi and Kaga in the baths! Eh, they're both adults. No points off unless something weird happens.

...'It's been a long time since I've had the chance to be with you like this." Okay, Akagi, that's a little weird. Don't molest carriergirl Mako, please. Even if she asks you to. But hey, at least they're not sisters.


12:10 - And some lovely animalistic screeches and screams of the damned as we pan the camera across the Abyssal fleet... including intro-sequence Wo-class. A little choral chant, and then we cut to a nice character card of Kaga.


12:28 - Ah. Fubuki's fleet is approaching... Coral Island. I wonder which sea that's in? D'ya get where we're going with the story yet?

Well, it's apparently really pretty. Ooi describes it as "blessing the path that Kitakami-san and I are traveling." Yeah, there's a lot of Ooi in this one. (-1)


12:35 - But KTKM spots some stormclouds closing in. Ruh-roh.


12:40 - "Tsch! Even the stupid sky is trying to ruin our day!"
"Well, if I'm with you, Oicchi, I feel just fine even in a storm."

NO WAIT KITAKAMI DON'T--


12:48 - Dear God, Ooi is audibly sparkling after that.


12:50 - So Fubuki wants Shokaku and Zuikaku to launch recon planes, just to safe. Shokaku notes that means a course change to launch into the wind. It'll disrupt the formation a bit, but Fubuki isn't worried.


13:22 - Everyone starts reassuring Shokaku that Fubuki's a good flagship that knows her stuff. Of course, after she thanks them, they rib her for being "too reckless in charging ahead."

Mou, Kongou-san indeed. (+1)

Anyway, this makes Shokaku confident in her temporary CO and she follows orders. Her and Zuikaku launch. Both carriers now note how very cautious this is. Fubuki says she needs to be sure...


14:30 - Flashback to the part of the conversation with Nagato we didn't see. "The Abyssals know our codes?"

US Navy Intelligence had long since cracked a lot of Japanese codes. No joke, there were times we knew the orders to the various task force admirals before they did. That's one of the things that allowed the Battle of Midway to go how it did.


14:57 - And sure enough, a message from Shouhou in the main force: struck by multiple enemy dive bombers and on fire.And, yep...


That's not good. Also, a touch ecchi-sketchy, no? (-1)


15:17 So now we need to react. Zuikaku wants to launch more recon flights, get as many eyes in the sky as possible. Shokaku says that blindly wasting planes is panic and will not work. Kitakami doesn't want to sit idle while their comrades are fighting and possibly dying. But even Kongou heeds caution, but the need to take strong offensive action once the enemy carriers are located.


15:48 - CHIBI FAIRY PILOT! (+1)

And she sees something. But Shokaku notes that the approach storm is basically repellent to the planes. Remember, these are WW2 planes. They don't do all-weather very well.


15:55 - Enemy carriers spotted by the plane we saw. Fubuki deploys her carriers to launch their strike craft.


16:35 - And we see the mysterious carrier we've been following this whole episode again. And in go the bombers! Wo opens her crabhead maw to launch some fighters, but a dive-bomber plants one right on the flight deck. We also see a destroyer getting blown up after it shot down another dive bomber.


17:02 - So, with the air threat neutralized, Fubuki's going to take the surface combatants and clean up. But, she's vectoring 5th CarDiv toward the Abyssal base to catch the support fleet. When Zuikaku protests, Fubuki points out that the Abyssal base is the primary target. Also, one negative for this episode is they must've been running out of money. The 3D CGI sequences versus the hand-drawn stuff is starting to mesh less well. CGI has practically no shading or shadow. Very unsettling. (-2)


17:40 - So, Buki orders radio silence. That always goes well. Plus a couple squadrons of fighters to cover the fleet while the Crane Sisters hare off on their own. Hey, remember last episode... about Shokaku being really unlucky? I'm sure that has nothing to do with it now!


17:55 - Ooh. We see plane recovery. A squadron lands on their arm-mounted flight decks as planes... and then place a squadron arrow back in the quiver. Because ANIME!


18:08 - "I wish Kaga could've seen us blow up an enemy carrier!"
"Aww, you're such good friends with Kaga, aren't you? I'm so happy for you."
"...WHAT?! NO! NO! NO WAY!"

Jesus Christ, Zuikaku actually throws out a racial slur. "I hate the slant-eyed, stuck-up, arrogant girls in Carrier Group One!" Is it... is it still racist if everyone involved is Japanese?


18:34 - Uh-oh... something glimmered in the storm clouds as they skirt the squall.

Two fighters strafe Shokaku and a dive bomber lands two hits.


18:52 - Oh... the Wo we've been following was a fake-out. Another one has appeared, this time with spoopy yellow eyes. And her flight deck is much functional.

Ah, another game reference (one I didn't really register until now). Yellow eyes is a Flagship type for the Wo in game. For Chud's reference, as he has the game, it has 20% more health, twice the armor, 25 points of firepower (the basic has none), 66% better AA, 25% better line of sight, and 20 luck versus 1 for the base model. She also has upgraded aircraft, all Mk II. I'm sure a seasoned player would know that much just looking at the planes.

All we need to know is that this is a Very Bad Thing. It also strongly parallels the USS Yorktown, which was at the Battle of the Coral Sea. Hmm... mayhap there be some implication there.


18:58 - And a squealing Shokaku gets her clothes machine-gunned to rags. Is legal, so the penalty is minor... but still naughty. (-1)


19:00 - Zuikaku tries to launch but starts getting bombed and strafed as well and can't even nock an arrow under the onslaught.


19:08 - Shokaku begs Zui to leave her and run. Not gonna happen, girl. You don't die until 1944.


19:10 - Okay, that was really good CGI where Zui charged in, swept up Shokaku, and charged off with the fighters in hot pursuit. Seriously, were there budget issues? I know it's an issue later on, but did the cracks begin here? (+1)


19:19 - "I need to contact the others. But wait, radio silence!" YOU'RE BEING AMBUSHED. I'm pretty sure there are protocols that allow for breaking radio silence in the event of overrun.


19:20 - Oh. Silly me. Yes, RDF might bring more enemies on you. Fair point, Zui. But... you're already screwed as they won't give you an instant to launch your planes. And a carrier with no planes is a really badly-armed and armored antiaircraft platform in the real world. In KanColle... worse than that.


19:33 - But then she's hearing Kaga's words of wisdom... GET YOUR SHIT TOGET--no, wait, that's Gordon Ramsay. The line about desperate bets on small hopes, actually... remember, WW2 planes don't react well to storms. And sure enough, some sun beams even shine through the squall... though, that would actually be a bad place to go. Right?

19:50 - Shokaku points out that they can't launch even if they're not followed, and wants to be used as a decoy. Intense Zuiface is intense. Nice moment.



20:18 - Sure enough, the enemy planes peel off as they duck into the squall. Zuikaku wants to launch their planes just as they emerge, but Shokaku thinks the enemy planes will be right back on them as soon as they do. Still, it's their only chance.


20:27 - We see Fubuki's group with some smoke or thunderheads behind them. Ooi and Kitakami are doing their victory dance. Fubuki breathes a sigh of relief that there was only one carrier, and the Admiral's worst case scenario didn't... but... they're listening to our messages... and... kurwa. So she shoots off.


20:43 - Back to the bath house, I guess? Kaga's playing with her washcloth bunny.

20:50 - T'WAS A DARK AN' STORMY NIGHT IT WAS. The two carriers are sailing through, with Shokaku basically having to cling around Zuikaku's neck for support. They see light at the edge of the storm...

21:00 - ...And squadrons of circling enemy planes with Flagship Wo. Zuikaku does the proper Bushido taunt, saying if this is it, she'll fight to the end.

21:09 - Wo's eyes flash, because ominous, and then she gives a hand signal. All of the surface combatants with her (destroyers, cruisers) start leveling their guns at the carriers. The sisters burst from the edge of the squall with a battle cry, and just as they're about to be blasted, a hail of gunfire from fighters rakes the Abyssal ships.

21:28 - Seeing their brief opportunity, Zuikaku launches her planes. The torpedo bombers streak in on a battleship.. and are wiped out.

21:45 - But we hear another battle cry, and Fubuki bursts from the squall. Her first salvo disables two Abyssals. Her second drills the Wo through its left eye. It screams and pulls back behind a couple of cruisers.

22:01 - Kongou roars in, 14" rifles blasting while Ooi and Kitakami volley their torpedoes into the remaining enemy ships. The non-humanoid Abyssals are wiped out, and the Wo is only saved from a torpedo strike by a battleship throwing herself into them. Wo is not happy.


22:16 - But this is what she's facing, by herself.


So it beats a hasty retreat.

22:40 - Ooyodo makes the report, and the news is delivered to Kaga who, with a warm smile, repeats a line she previously reserved for her chibi fairy pilots but now includes CarDiv 5. "They're all very talented girls." Incidentally, Ooyodo's report of "One Wo sunk, another severely damaged" really ties into the Coral Sea analog. Blue Eyed Wo who got bombed early would be USS Lexington. USS Yorktown survived the engagement, but was very badly damaged. In fact, it took several engineering miracles for her to deploy at Midway... and probably contributed to her loss in that battle. The only American carrier lost in the engagement to Japan's core carriers being sent to the bottom. Of course, that's a story for another time...

TOTAL SCORE: +2


Also, on a semi-related note... I just want to make sure this is preserved for eternal posterity.

Quoted from Popey:

Sept. 6 2015 at 12:08PM


Good grief, it really is anime girl me.

And so is this.


If you've read this far, thank you! And good night.

PREVIOUS NAVAL ENGAGEMENTS
Episode 1
Episode 2
Episode 3
Episode 4
Episode 5
Episode 6

[This message has been edited by Kousoku Senkan Moffgou (edited 12-27-2018 @ 01:33 AM).]

I shall admit I only read the bits around the pictures Clearly you're putting in a lot of effort nevertheless.

Well, if you're looking around the pictures... you should like this one.

BUT FIRST!


A wild chibi Kaga-chan appears!

Episode 8: I'm Not a Hotel! THE THICC OF IT
So, we join our girls on the open seas, sailing toward an island. Shokaku and Zuikaku are still pretty banged up.

0:09 - Ah, Bucky helpfully informs us that this is... Truk Island. So we had W Island, the Battle of the Seas around Coral Island, and now the fleet is anchoring at Truk. I wonder where this heading.

Anyway, Truk is the new forward base for Operation FS. They have repair facilities for Shokaku, and ther other shipgirls have already moved there during the fighting. Ir does look like a really pretty, green, Pacific island. Very nice.


0:35 - Flashback to Mutsu explaining the amenities to Kongou. Apparently, they are to rendezvous with one of the fleet's special, newest ships. Yay! We get to add yet another boat to our gigantic cast of Fubuki, Mutsuki, Yuudachi, Sendai, Jintsuu, Naka, Akagi, Kaga, Ooi, Kitakami, Nagato, Mutsu, Tone, Atago, Takao, Chikuma, Zuikaku, Shokaku, Mogami, Shimakaze, Ashigara, Haguro, Nachi, Yuubari, Akatsuki, Inazuma, Ikazuchi, Hibiki, Kongou, Hiei, Haruna, Kirishima. Kuma, Tama, Ooyodo, and Mamiya!

Pooiiiiiiiiii... O_O


0:49 - "Yeah, it's definitely summer," Kitakami groans while they look around a beach that borders some nice jungle. Ooi has a suggestion about to beat the heat.



1:00 - However... a glistening python pops out and hisses at her.


Turns out Ooi is afraid of snakes. What a fitting creature to spoil her yuri tryst. (+1)


1:07 - Bucky asks Kongou if she's sure they're in the right spot. There's not much that says "naval base" on this big, sandy beach. But Kongou chides her, saying she worries too much. "No probrem dess! ...maybe. "(+1)


1:14 - "MAYBE?! THAT WAS A MAYBE, WASN'T IT?!"(+4)


1:18 - But something rustles in the tall grass. Another snek? NO STEP ON SNEK!

Ah, it's a person. With little cherry blossoms in her hair and a parasol. And... an anchor hanging off her hip. And a giant chyrsanthemum sigil on her throat. So that's a boat. Probably our new friend. But who is she?


1:35 - Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...

UCHUU
SENKAN
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Yamato, one of the most famous vessels in all naval history. The largest battleship every to put to see, the largest to slip beneath the waves. The very symbol of Imperial Japan at her commissioning. The harbinger of its doom. This vessel is deeply intertwined in Japanese culture the way very few other warships have been. I don't even think something like the Missouri, the Iowa, or Constitution are truly on par for the US, or Victory in the UK. So we turned her into a tall purple-haired chick.


3:14 - Oh, there's the naval base.

Kinda sorta seems like the kind of thing you put next to the water, but it's very nice. As we said, everyone's here... at 3:29 Chewtoy and Poipoi rush out to meet Bucky with the "we're such good friends" music playing. But yeah, this swanky forward base has it all docks (where Shokaku has already been whisked off to) and more importantly, a resupply depot. That is, FEEDIN' TIME! So Yamato takes the girls to a very lovely dining hall. Candles on the tables, white linen sailor hats for napkins... or something...


4:16 - And Akagi already there eating a small cow's worth of beef.


Spoiler alert: several key Akagi scenes are gonna be in this room. As yet, it is not known if food is prepared by an ill-tempered, blonde shipgirl with a deeply craggy forehead who speaks in expletive-laced Kansai-ben. Get on it, Tanaka.

Anyway, obliagory cry of "AKAGI-SENPAI," and the girls--Christ that steak has to be a meter across. Sorry for all the pics, but this is a very visual episode.



4:38 - Ah, apparently Yamato is the cook here. Shame, I kinda wanted to meet Gorudun-chan. She may also be psychic or a master electronics expert, because ringing a little gold bell unlocks a giant refrigerator packed with ramune. Don't get weird with this, episode. I like you so far, but just because arrows summon aircraft squadrons doesn't mean bells should summon tasty things.


4:58 - Apparently it's Yamato's special ramune. Eveything's Yamato Special. Fubuki and Kongou start chugging, with the latter declaring it oishii indeed.


5:15 - Ah, the bell summons little meido-fairies. All right, KanColle. You've kept your consistency card for now. So they'll pulling off the white sheet from whatever was next to Akagi (presumably as a tamper indicator in case her meter of beef was insufficient). First course is consomme.


5:24 - Kitakami notes how it's hard to believe this resort-like place is so unlike a military base. Fubuki chimes in that it's like a "hoteru." Ooi, of course, flushes and squees at the idea of being in a "hoteru" with Kitakami-san...


5:31 - But English-speaker (...technically) Kongou has to correct them. It's not "hoteru." It's hotel.

"I AM NOT A HOTEL!" And everyone stops to stare at their flustered host. But she quickly apologizes and brushes it off.


5:45 - Aaaaaaaaaaaand we join Shokaku and Zuikaku in the baths. Nekkid and sharing a tub (I mean, it's a big communal one, but they're sitting in arm's reach). I'll allow it as it's an established game mechanic.. until it gets weird. No orgasm buckets with your sister, okay Shokaku?

So, because Kaga's all better, Shokaku's going to transfer back to her old unit. She tries to reassure Zuikaku, saying they'll uphold the pride of 5th CarDiv from their separate units.


6:00 - And now we cut to an almost beam-view of the two carriers... and yeah. Flight Deck Chest indeed. Also, their bath is outside. But yeah, I gotta do something about such a blatant comparison of displacement between the sisters. (-1)


6:13 - Nagato and Mutsu are discussing the operation. It confirms their suspicions that the codes have been broken. Add to that a fleet carrier being out of the fight (Shokaku), and those stretched supply lines being threatened by Abyssal Base MO... there's only one course of action. Might as well let the fleet enjoy their respite on this nice, warm island before mounting a full-scale offensive.


7:11 - So while the other girls are walking about outside on this balmy night (ERR MAH GERD TIKI TORCHES MORE PROOF OF KANCOLLE'S FASCIST LEANINGS), talking about how stuffed they are from the sumptuous meal they had that Hotel Yamato... Akagi, of course, it looking forward to breakfast. I didn't know the Japanese had mastered artificial singularity power plants in WW2. Then again, these girls do carry self-replicating Zero, Kate, and Val squadrons as well as TARDIS-tech ship guns. Perhaps they do have some kind of fancy power source.


7:18 - Yuudachi informs us the rooms at this lovely base are almost as good as the food... in fact, the beds are really soft. Ohh myy.

Bucky starts to wonder aloud just who Yamato is, given all the amenities here. This is when Kaga turns to exposit. Yamato is the strongest fleet girl in history... and she's a top secret. Akagi has heard rumors that she's fitted with 46-cm guns... which is true. The real Yamato carried nine 46cm guns in 3 turrets. The guns were officially designated as 41cm, like Nagato and Mutsu, to cover this up and avoid the US Navy trying to develop a countermeasure.


7:43 - Or, as Yuudachi summed it up with professional military terminology:

*sigh* I would put a score modifier here... but the problem is sometimes this irritates the shit out of me. But others, it amuses me. We're actually in an amusement mode right now, but for fairness... I'll call it a wash. And one chop on Yuudachi's head. *chop*

Anyway, to keep Yammy under wraps, she's never been in battle. She can't be in battle. She's the secret weapon for the decisive battle for the seas, the ace in the hole. Play her now... and risk it all.


8:27 - Zui and Shokaku come up. A brief exchange of pleasanties, with compliments for Shokaku and Fubuki, is interrupted as Zui's envy gets the better of her and she hollers, "We proved we don't need First CarDiv!" Oh, Zui... you truly are envy incarnate. Actually, lot of the main characters can be described as one of the Seven Deadly Sins.

Envy - Zuikaku
Gluttony - Akagi
Lust - Kongou
Pride - Kaga
Sloth - Kitakami
Wrath - Ooi

Just need the Greedy Boat. Of course, since they're only paid in fuel, ammunition, and sexual harassment... wait, what? Anyway, Zui just made a twat of herself. And Kaga calmly, coolly replies that if her and Akagi had been present, they'd have already taken their objective. Then lectures Zuikaku not be arrogant, with even Akagi trying to get her to reel it in. Zui notes that Kaga has no room to talk, since she wasn't even there... leading to a gentle headpat and a "good job" from Kaga. And that's the point where Zui's tsun got flipped to tsundere. Everyone giggles at her as she calls after a departing Kaga, "Don't do weird stuff like that!"

And that is going to be Zuikaku's character from now on. (-1)


9:36 - Bucky, Yuudachi, and Mutsuki are luxuriating in their first-class hotel room--and it's pretty f**kin' swanky. But all of the hotel comparisons make Fubuki think about Yamato's outburst, and she thinks back to her own difficulties starting out. "Maybe she doesn't want to go out to sea?"

But then Fubuki thinks Yamato has the same guilt trip she had about loafing around her last naval base while everyone else went out. Um. Either the translation is borked, or there's some consistency problems. (-1)


10:01 - And sure enough, we see Yamato on the beach, gazing at the moonlight sea. Also, there's a plaintive female vocalist in the background which just makes me think, again, of Space Battleship Yamato and I'm pretty sure it's deliberate (first song).

...Oh, totally deliberate. I replayed the scene and though I'd failed to pause the linked vid and didn't notice the difference for a moment. Cute nod.(+1)

BUT NOW TO THE IMPORTANT PART OF THE EPISODE! You know, the one that gives it its true name...

10:13 - Sipia is surfing and singing a happy song... and then we. Are. On. The. Beach. TIME FOR PLOT!
PLOT!


PLOT!
PLOT!


PLOT! Up close Popey plot!


PLOT!


But yes, they try to take Yammy for a swim. She complains that she needs to make lunch, but our mains say they'll help. The water's nice and cold...


11:36 - And the Bucky drops the other shoe. "Later, wanna put on our rigs and go offshore?"

But a lurking Nagato (why you always lurking, Nagamon?) immediately says, "No." Yamato is absolutely not allowed to leave the base. Dejected, Yammy goes back to make lunch. And then Nagato turns her attention to Bucky. "Mind your own business."

Damn. First real scolding she's gotten.


12:10 - Loli bath. You can't accept Nagato's decision, and I cannot accept your pro-lolicon animation, Bucky. Plus, I gotta take some points for ecchi after giving a general pass to the swimsuit show. (-1)

Oh FFS, and Yuudachi washing her hair, while brief... is really sketchy ecchi. This must the part where I'd be looking at spreadsheets or Maple or something while glancing at subtitles. (-2)

Anyway, they're talking about Yamato. Fubuki really feels bad for her, while everyone else tells her that she was just told point blank by the most senior shipgirl to BTFO.


12:29 - "I don't know what I'm gonna do, but..." *puts mouth under the water and blows bubbles* (+1) kawaii point


12:38 - Uh-oh. She plottin'. Everyone's curled up in bed after the bath, except Foob. "I'll come to bed soon; don't wait up for me." WHATCHU PLANNING? Do you not know what happens to little destroyers who get caught late at night by the Nagamon?


12:53 - Ah, she spots Yamato going out to gaze wistfully at the beach. Girl, when do you sleep?

So, Foob intercepts her at the beach for a late-night rendezvous. Being a battleship, of course Yamato wants to go to sea instead of managing a hotel for shipgirls. So Bucky suggests slipping out, just a bit. The two of them, to frolick on the seas in the light of the moon. "The sea is the best. Going out with everyone is great." And then, "It's okay." (ah) "No one is around now." (Ah...)

I'M NOT THE ONE PUTTING THE YURI SPIN ON THIS. WATCH IT! That's what the time codes are for!

"Just for a little bit. I'll show you what to do, okay?" O_O It's not usually the young girl saying these things to the head-taller adult woman... and then Yamato takes Fubuki's hand. Then the Stargate Atlantis theme starts playing as we check out Yamato's epic gear. The 46 cm cannons are no longer a rumor, nor is the battery of 15cm AA guns. They don't call her Space Battleship because she flies... it's because that's where you end up if she hits you. (+1)


13:54 - "Is this really okay?"
"Of course! Okay, let's take it slowly..."

Not helping, Foob. And this size comparison... this is actually something to keep in mind. Plus she looks like a goddamn Space Marine.


So they step out onto the water until Yamato is a bit off the coast. Fubuki asks how it is, and Yamato sheepishly says, "This is really hard to say, but..." *GROWL* "I'm hungry." Cheap humor is cheap, plus the yuri seduction subtext threw some straws onto that camel. (-1)


14:30 - Yep. Yamato and Akagi are now going to have an eating contest, because in the show, the game, and in real life, the Battleship Yamato was a massive fuel guzzler. That's the real reason she was kept in port most of her life. But this is kinda humorous as Fubuki, Yuudachi, and Mutsuki play waitress and go from awe to utter horror as these two gravitational singularities in the bodies of women consume all around them. (+2)

Seriously. They depleted this rice cooker.



14:50 - But then a very pissed Nagato throws open the doors, takes one glance at the feeding beasts, and summons Fubuki to her office. This is where it's explained that Yamato's resource consumption is off the charts, so I guess should've saved that point for here. Nagato says she does sympathize with Yamato, and even with Fubuki, and promises that one day, Yammy will get to fulfill her duty. BUT FOR NOW IT'S PUNISHMENT TIME!

And the sentence is... hunting for clams on the beach! BWAHAHAHAHA! And she sings a little song... "Asari, shijimi, hamaguri clams..." Huh. So Bucky grows up to become Commander Shepard.


Yamato comes out to help, and they spend a lovely afternoon hunting for shellfish. And this is where we learn about her personality instead of her stats. "I'm a fleet girl, too. I exist to protect everyone. So, when I get told I'm like a hotel, it makes me sad. But, for now, there's nothing to be done.I'll do my best here until that day comes."

Ah. We've not covered the hotel thing, have we? It's not simply because they needed a boatgirl to run this base. No. Remember, Yamato was the pride of the Imperial Navy. A symbol of Japan. And nothing was spared in her construction. Her accomodations were luxurious for the crew, by IJN standards. Men had beds instead of hammocks, with dedicated footlockers. She had air conditioning. Full course meals for officers with a live band. An onboard bathhouse. And because she was a fuel pig, she sat in port, essentially as a very cozy meeting place for admirals and their staffs. Her own Navy called her the hotel. When she did put to see, her record was less than stellar. At the Battle of the Phillipine Sea--or as my fellow Americans would know it, The Great Marianas Turkey Shoot--her major contribution was a friendly fire incident where she opened up on returning Japanese planes. Then against at Samar, where she did hit USS Gambier Bay but was driven off by a task force of escort carriers and destroyer escorts... ships suited for merchant convoy protection, not standing in a battle line against the mightiest superdreadnought to put to sea. Her last mission was her death ride in Ten-Go, where was she was beach herself on Okinawa and act as a shore battery until annihilated.

She never made it.

So her greatest contribution was various conferences hosted in her air conditioned compartments under the blazing Pacific sun. It's little wonder the shipgirl is so triggered--and I use that without irony or scorn here--by the moniker of "hotel."


17:06 - AND BACK TO THE BATHS! But this time... it's Nagato?

My, those are some impressive guns, though. (-1)

What comes next does need to be seen. (+5)


SHO KAWAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII. Nagato, you big softy...


17:35 - And now more eating. Omurice with Bucky's clams. And then dessert; some nice cakes, macarons... and Moffboat, ever her speak-before-you-think self, declares the base to truly be the Yamato hotel. Yammy, without flinching, or quaver in her voice, declares it to be the Yamato Hotel's special desserts. I didn't know Yammy-chan was a David Weber character. :'(

18:15 - MORE BEACH! Sipikaze is having a surf race with her gun turrets, while DesDiv 6 builds a sand boat Because why would they make a castle?

Mutsuki and Yuudachi are sitting on a log in the water... somehow. They wave to a brooding Fubuki, who is still put off by Kongou's comments, inviting her in. And then, Mutsuki, as the universe's chewtoy, falls off. Yuudachi tells her think of swimming like she has rigging. This gives Fubuki an idea.

She grabs Yamato and brings her to the beach... where she's made a little raft with a seat made from a crate. Yamato can climb on, and Fubuki will put her rigging and tow her to see. Then, Yamato doesn't burn any fuel... but she gets to go out. You're so wholesome, Foob. (+1)

So, Fubuki gets all set up... and...

Ara, ara. I think someone had too much cabbage and too many beans with breakfast.

Yeah. A Fubuki-class destroyer generates 50,000 HP (that's 37 MW for you "I DON'T LIKE UNITS BASED ON EQUINES" folks). That's enough to propel a 2,000 ton hull to a little less than 38 knots. Yamato massed 73,000 tons. However, fortunately for Fubuki herself, Yuudachi and Mutsuki show up with their gear and help tow Yamato to sea.


20:18 - Yamato is rapturous, and then they start doing formations around her like she was the flagship. With Yamato eagerly pointing out what they're doing, showing she knows her stuff. She's been studying and keeping current so when she does finally sortie, she knows what's going on.


20:45 - Something shines audibly in the sky, and Yammy's ear twitches. Enemy planes! Turns out Second Fleet borked it and let some planes through! GOOD JOB, SECOND FLEET. MAYBE THAT'S WHY YOU'RE SECOND.


21:16 - They have no carrier, so no fighters... and their little destroyer guns can't reach the planes. But then Yamato says, "I'll try." Looks like she brought her gear too. Epic music, of course.(+1)


"Enemy planes targeted. Load Type-3 shells!" Main guns train to zero bearing and elevate to their full 45. Uguuu... "All main guns, BLOW THEM AWAY!" And cue the choral chanting over the battle music, cause UCHUU SENKAN YAMATO has joined the party!

Boom. Of course, as Mutsuki notes, the discharge of nine 18.1" cannons is going to carry. Sure enough, we see Nagato watching them through binoculars... while... erm... Snailfu, why are you staring at nee-san's foredeck? Isn't Moff-gou's good enough for you anymore ne?!



22:08 - And sure enough, they get back to the beach... and Yuudachi's the one to notice an approaching Nagato. The clam population is going to be depleted for this infraction.

Yamato tries to intercede, but Nagato quite literally tells her to go back to the kitchen. Jesus. But then she quickly tells all of them that dinner will be ready soon, so they should get cleaned up. Fubuki utters an amazed, "Nagato-san..." as the latter walks off toward Mutsu. And Mutsu, for some reason, has a squirrel in her hands. Hmm.

22:31 - "Nanda?"
"Nothing." And then she snuggles the squirrel to her. "Aww, Nagato-nee's sho niiiiiiiiiiice."

Nagato is adorable when she's flustered. (+1)



22:39 - One last dinner scene. Yamato's pulled out the stops, and everyone's salivating at the sinfully delicious spread. Again, Kongou says how she's going to get addicted to the food at the Yamato Hotel. -_-

But Yamato, softly but firmly, intones, "Kongou-san. I'm not the Yamato Hotel. Watashi wa Yamato-gata ichibankan, Yamato desu." (I am the first ship of the Yamato-class, Yamato.)


So, by introducing a new--and significant character--like this, that opens up more history. The next four episodes will now explore that. Your enjoyment of this episode will depend on how funny you find fanservice. Based on this review, I'm giving the episode a generally positive score. I do like the history. I do like the humor. I love the cute Nagato moments. I like the nice Yamato sidequest.

I laugh at the shameless bouncing tits. I snicker at the yuri subtext with Fubuki seducing Yamato "to try something new with the girls." Depending on mood, that sardonic amusement might become more chafed. But it never goes into full scorn. It might annoy me, but I don't hate it. This time, it was amusing. Maybe it would swing the total a couple points down. But this is a key episode. I also appreciate that they waited this far in to bring in Yamato. There was just too much stuff going on otherwise. I suppose we could have deleted Episode 6, as it did very little. But there were too many new faces in the early episodes, and it takes a few viewings--or scouring TVTropes repeatedly--to get a feeling for who is who and why they do what they do.

And yeah, this one is a wall of text. And pictures. But more Popey is good Popey, right? <_<

Yeah, you know it is.

TOTAL SCORE: +11

PREVIOUS NAVAL ENGAGEMENTS
Episode 1
Episode 2
Episode 3
Episode 4
Episode 5
Episode 6
Episode 7

High quality writing!