Define boob humor. Then see KanColle Episode 2.

That's not funny. The comic is. <_<

EDIT: A WILD HONOKA APPEARS

Why do all of the girls with brown hair look like Fubuki?

EDIT2: NOOOOOOOOOO! "Let's talk about ass and titties" was a lie! A filthy filthy lie! It's "let's tell stories of love." :(

[This message has been edited by Moff Yittreas (edited 07-04-2016 @ 08:45 PM).]

Kannazuki no Miko - Destiny of the Shrine Maiden

Episode 3: Secret Love Shell


0:10 – Please don’t be a beach episode.

2:00 – It’s not a beach episode. Panic averted, stand down. [+2]

2:01 – The plot demands that Himeko move in with Lesbian Love Interest (LLI).

2:35 – Miko in the Shell: Stand-a-Love Complex

3:00– LLI has a legion of maidservants, and I have no idea how to react. And neither does Himeko.

3:18 – Uh-oh, bathing scene incoming. Pseudo-Panty-shot counter: 11. I’m going to call it the Ecchi-sketchy counter from now on.

3:32 – “Her breasts are big and beautiful.” Right. Pseudo-Ecchi-sketchy counter: 12. [-6]

3:34 – And Himeko is in denial about her sexuality. I guess we can’t completely sink the ship with Heterosexual Love Interest (HLI). No, Himeko, you aren’t weird. You’re a gay girl.

4:04 – Buttoning up a pyjama top, showing a little cleavage, but being tasteful about it. See, this is how to do it, anime producers. [+2]

4:26 – JEAAAALLOUSY TURNING SAINTS INTO THE SEA, SWIMMING THROUGH SICK LULLABIES, CHOKING ON YOUR ALIBI!



5:01 – Asking the maidservant who is crushing on you to move your toiletries into the room next to your girlfriend is really pretty cruel. And are all the girls in this series lesbian or bisexual?

5:15 – Whoa whoa whoa, back the heck up. At 4:39 we see a double bed, with two pillow. Now it’s a single bed with only one. Continuity error. [-5]

5:27 – Oh, did Himeko drop a tab of acid before she went to bed? Nope, it’s just Adorable Nurse-chan and 2Chainz in Purple Hell. [+10]



5:51 – Ah, Sultry Latina Villain is 2Chainz’s older sister. Backstories are fleshing out.

6:44 – Himeko wakes up from a nightmare-flashback of HLI’s giant mecha. Maybe she did do some acid after all.

7:21 – LLI is waited on in an improbably large dining room, alone at the head of a table, yet has not been served food or drinks. [-4]

7:23 – BUUUT IT’S JUST THE PRICE I PAY! DEST-UUHHH-NEEE IS CAAAAALLING ME! OPEN UP MY EAGLE EYES! COS I’M MR BRIGHTSIDE! Da da da da da da da da….

8:02 – COMING OUT OF MY CAGE AND I’VE BEEN DOING *just* FINE! GOTTA GOTTA BE DOWN BECAUSE I WANT IT ALL

8:14 – Bishie sparkle is quite distracting, but doesn’t really add much in the way of plot. So far this episode has just been about establishing a lesbian love triangle in addition to the bisexual one. So we have a love rhombus.

9:28 – Mood whiplash, and a fairly effective one at that. Up until this point it had all been fairly upbeat, and now I’m effectively reminded that there’s a war on, and there have been casualties. [+5]

9:38 – Oh, it’s Blue-Haired Girl and her lackeys again.

10:17 – And HLI is the star striker on the football team, as if we needed more reasons to cheer for him. LLI is an accomplished pianist, though, so he’s in for some stiff competition on the talent front.

10:33 – Nasty rumours are being spread, and Himeko is being bullied for making a friend, because that’s all girls do in their spare time? [-5] for the trashy stereotyping.

10:41 – And HLI is there to be the knight in shining armour. But he’s too blind to look up and see who pushed Himeko over. This episode was on a positive score for a while, but it’s listing badly right now. [-10]

11:05 – LLI is f***ing pissed. Being serious, this scene conveyed her feelings pretty well. [+3]



11:37 – And now time for a random 5-second clip of an airship rising above a cloud before the commercial break. [-3]

12:01 – Oh, Adorable Nurse-chan is inside. I guess I can forgive it then. [+3]

12:13 – Adorable Nurse-chan, destroyer of worlds. Tower goes boom indeed. [+8]

12:54 – Time for the equipment check. And a bit more exposition. And then a juicy tender scene between the girls.

13:37 – Giggity



14:31 – Did HLI just kick through an upright log? Is he actually superman? That would have broken his ankle. [-5]

14:50 – “It’s like a Superman effect.” Called it.

14:58 – The voice actor exhaled and wheezed during the other character’s dialogue. And they kept the take in. [-4]

16:30 – Okay, way to ruin a well-crafted dramatic set piece. Sometimes less is actually just less. [-1]

16:47 – And the consequence wasn’t even a serious wound anyway. Grrr.

17:30 – A call back to the beach at the beginning of the episode. At least it’s not a “beach episode”, mind. [+6]

18:27 – Boring feelings time. LLI is telling Himeko that she has one True Love™ whom she is fated for. Bullshit does she. People are able to form pair-bonds quite readily and waiting for The One® is a recipe for disappointment. The perfect is the enemy of the good. [-10]

19:09 – Adorable Nurse-chan to the rescue! But wait…

19:32 – How did the girls transition from running from a breaking tsunami wave, to completely submerged to the point that the sunlight is completely blocked out? [-2]

19:46 – And Himeko just sank a good ten feet. But she was standing on the shore. What the hell

20:11 – Here comes HLI to save the day!

20:39 – And, back to the impossibly excellent fighting ability. Can’t you at least make it difficult for the heroes?

20:51 – OP super ability time. RIP In Peace, Adorable Nurse-chan.

21:33 – And now it’s LLI’s turn for some IT STARTED OUT WITH A KISS, HOW DID IT END UP LIKE THIS? It was only a kiss, It was only a kiss!

21:55 – Poor Adorable Nurse-chan is all upset. And it’s time to introduce a new bad guy without explaining who he is.

22:10 – Dramatic cut into the ending credits! [+10]

Verdict: Much improved on the previous outing, relatively solid without having any particularly notable moments. I’m slightly optimistic for what the future of this series has on offer, and I’d very much like it if there are enough jealous frowns for me to sing all of Mr Brightside.

Final Score: -6

Rating: 5/10 (Fair)

[This message has been edited by Popeychops (edited 07-05-2016 @ 05:29 PM).]

CANDY STORE IS BEST SURROGATE ONEE-CHAN

Dammit real sisters... one of you marry her already so Renge-tan can have her BEST ONEE-CHAN around all the time. Wait, what in the f**k am I saying...?

Also, a charming tradition of seeing the first sunrise of the New Year. Sadly, I cannot do that here; I have no vantage point to the east.

EDIT: My God. Chocolate sauce on hamburger steak? SENPAI IS BAD COOK.

[This message has been edited by Moff Yittreas (edited 07-05-2016 @ 09:10 PM).]

Shouldn't a 5/10 rating be called tolerable rather than fair, which sounds more like 6/10 ?


Don't underestimate the power of chocolate!



(I have no idea what you're talking about)

Chocolate steak is better than you think

It would almost have to be, given what I think of it.

Although, it could just be that Hotaru doesn't like chocolate. Fortunately, she likes senpai. (Is that the "questionable" part, Chud? Little fifth-grade crush?)

Shouldn't a 5/10 rating be called tolerable rather than fair, which sounds more like 6/10 ?

I do an 11 point scale from 0 to 10, and 6 is above average.

Point values are inherently flawed. Percentile rankings are the only useful metric.

Ah.

Anyway. The red/green score is the main takeaway.

This is very anime/manga romcom protagonist ever.

That was on reddit yesterday

Yes. As you may have noticed, I spend a lot of time on Reddit nowadays.

That's a fairly accurate description, yeah It's frustrating watching them be completely or almost completely oblivious to everything but I'd imagine it'd be a bit risky to make the main character actually aware of all the attention he gets, since that might make him seem even more like an ass or alternatively make the harem theme impossible (unless the entire cultural setting would be different, in which case it'd be fine). I'd definitely try watching it in any case, though

If the character becomes aware, it would probably end up as that harem genre deconstruction where very bad shit happens... School Days?

I mean, it's likely that the protagonist would get into some very sticky situations or even try to take advantage to try and bang as many girls as possible (which is what happens in the show above, from what I gather, before it gets worse). So, yeah, harems pretty much exist due to fantastical circumstances where everyone is an idiot to a certain degree. Romcoms are somewhat of the same thing, but more focused, because drama. >_>

[This message has been edited by Mithril Knight (edited 07-07-2016 @ 08:04 PM).]

Why did we not have an awesome game like "Drop the Ruler" when I was in school?

To begin...


Sorry for the wall o' text, but it'll only get bigger if I don't post it now.

MOFF TRIES UPOTTE!

Based on what I've read on Wiki... this may be a strong inspiration for Panzermadels. You have been warned.

"Keep Chamber Empty in the School Building"

...So, what? It's an unused room? It almost sounds like they're referring to a cartridge-feeding weapon, like a rifle or pistol or tank cannon. What use would this empty school chamber be?

"Sig-chan" does not sound very Japanese. Obviously, the one with the German name is blonde. As an aside, the girls seem to be more... stoutly built than previous shows. They're not busty, and they're not fat. Just... squat.

Apparently, the mean-looking German lady teacher has is "attractive" because she has "stopping power." These euphemisms are quite puzzling.

Oh, the blonde is American (...announced with an air horn honk) while her companions are English, Swiss, and Belgian. What's this; the Beer Girl School? Jesus, I just jinxed it, didn't I?

HOLY SHIT THE GERMAN LADY IS VERY GERMAN. Jodhpurs, blonde hair... and da faq I think she's wearing SS shoulder straps. And she has an eyepatch.

1:06 - Yeah, she is definitely wearing an exaggerated Wehrmacht uniform. Is this going to get really creepy, really fast?

1:14 - Bro-kill-oli. That's how she says broccoli (she wants to plant veggies in the garden and its too late for spring plants).

Oh, I get the flags now. And... there are guns superimposed across them.

...And the credits are covered with spitzer catridge images. And I think I just saw Gunny Heartmann AND HOLY SHIT THAT GIRL HAS ELF EARS WHAT IS THIS SHOW?!

The episode title is "Grip and Hold," and the title card is an ammunition box lying in the grass. And the reading of the title is followed by a gunshot. Not sure if I like or I'm terrified.

Is this our Erwin?

Soft piano music, blowing wind sound, and creepy pan and focus shots of blue-haired girl with a rifle (at a carnival contest stand).

And the cheating bastard stand owner still won't give the two little kids their prize. First, because they didn't knock down the stand (he never mentioned that until the kid shot the target off) and then because this girl shot it down, but it doesn't count because her school uniform means she's a pro shot.

Erwin (that's what I'm calling him for now) tries his hand... and blue girl--

STOP

STOP STOP STOP

F**KING STOP

She admires the newcomer's stance, grip... we get a brief, odd shot of her skirt fluttering in the breeze (Japan...), more squealing as her voice gets more and more frantic. And then, as she realizes his stance is ideal for holding an assault rifle--and pictures him with what I believe is an FN FAL--she whimpers (mentally) "I'm going to shoot, my hammer is going to fire" as her heart beats loud enough to be captioned and she crosses her legs and clutches the front of her skirt.

Moff wanted funny, not sketchy ecchi loli horrors. (-5)

...But then the guy flubs his shots hilarious and repeatedly hits blue/purple girl in the face with ricocheted corks. And she picks up a comedy bandage each time. (+2)

...And then there's a weird skeletal view of her injuries. O_O

Oh, never mind. It's a skeleton keychain. Good, that means I don't have to make a screenshot and upload it!

"I ended up suddenly assigned to a new post." OH MY GOD NEW GUY IS ERWIN AND THIS IS PANZERMADELS.

...Erwin, you can't have sex with the young ones. That's just sick. Bang one-eyed German lady.

So Erwin is the new teacher at Seishou Academy. He knows nothing about the school. It's apparently highly specialized.

"The guy at the booth mentioned you're some kind of pro shooter. Is there a shooting club?"
"Actually... we're guns."
wat
WAT
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAT

...Her skirt flutters and lifts... but they block the panty shot with Erwin's head. So only he sees it. Well, I didn't take points off for when they did that with Erika in GuP... also, blue hair is "FNC." She's the Belgian from earlier.

...HOWEVER ANY GOODWILL FROM THE BLOCKING THE PANTY SHOT IS GONE WHEN ERWIN MUTTERS, "...a thong..." SHE'S F**KING TWELVE OR SOMETHING YOU DICK (-5)

FNC proudly declares she is an assault rifle
We're in weird anime land again, aren't we?

"A... Belgian... assault... thong." (-5)

And wow... furo scene with crystal clear water. Um. Shit, I think this might be the first anime I legimately quit on.

"I'd fire so fast with those big hands gripping me." Uh, wow.

And there's Gunny Heartmann. All of the girls on a firing range and blazing away with what I assume to be their matching weapon. So, it's not quite Panzermadels: the girls themselves don't shoot bullets out of somewhere.

Yeah, even the uniforms are very Panzermadelsy. Which then tells me there are people who want to molest these gun girls.

FNC arrives late, and Erwin calls her, "the girl with the thong." Cute looks of horror, blue filters on everyone... and FNC materializes her rifle counterpart into her arm and flicks the selector to full auto.

Bad CGI shell casings are bad. Oh, there's also a lot of dakka as she screams "JERRRRRRRRRK"

Oh, good. She didn't shoot him directly...


Ah. Her thong is due to the actual weapon having a skeleton stock. So, stock = underwear. Oh, and that barrage collapsed the building he was standing against.

And girls dream to become great assault rifles. Somehow. They're all assault rifles.

So now we're at a high school and two gun girls are razzing a third--which from their conversation is revealed to be FNC's older sister, so probably FAL--for "shooting up" the teacher.

FCU just went to the nurse. "That part you [the 'hammer'] is extremely precious. So be sure to keep it clean and well-maintained." Folks, I like dirty humor as much as the next fellow. But she's... no. Just... no.

Also, when a gun girl "jams," she gets constipated!

Oh, thank God. Baseball. Just think of baseball.

Until there's gainaxing. Also, every time they hit the ball, there's a gunshot sound.

And yay for national stereotyping! And M16 girl speaks in Osaka-ban.

Ah, Eru (Busty Loli) is L85A1. Very British.

YAY MOAR DAKKA AGAINST PERVY TEACHER. And FNC has a 3-day suspension. She really hates her thong.

...Holy shit. The credits are stuffed with horrible fanservice shots. I'm genuinely offended. (-10)

It's not rifle, and it's not a waifu. It's both - It's a rifu

*headdesk*

And in the next episode preview, someone take a bullet through their skirt. I dunno about this one. I mean, some of you don't even like GuP because you don't have tanks anymore; I shudder to think the apoplexy this show might give you.

EPISODE TWO

"Practing long range shooting. Put five rounds into the vitals of a human target 500 meters away." Those words should not be uttered so moely.

Upper-level shooting. I like the sound of the G3.

So, they did badly on their tests, but can get out of remedial classes if they beat the upperclassmen in shooting.

"You don't need ammunition in my class!" THEN YOUR CLASS SUCKS

CHALKTOSS. I wish I could do that.

Ah, so the rules of the capture the flag game with the upperclassmen is they wear balloons to signify hits. As opposed to, you know, actually getting shot. Oh, they're still using hot weapons with live ammunition... but at least it's safe now! People say this show would be NRA hentai, but it would just make us mad.

Ah, so High School Girls are chambered with battle rifle rounds, the Middle School Girls are 5.56mm, and the elementary school (OF COURSE THERE'S AN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL!) are SMGs.

Okay, I actually really like the second episode. There's not much to comment on. Except I laughed aloud at the duel between M14 and M16, and its result.

Hmm. Good, the only sketchy parts of this were the end with some light flirtation between G3 and M14 on recoil suppressing techniques. I'm not sure bracing the rifle between your knees and firing from a laid-back position will actually control recoil that well, though.

...But the next episode preview is BATHTIME! "Funcois going off to bathe. I want to join her and scrub her down."

So, what, odd episodes are icky, even ones are funny?

I get it. Rifle and girl in Japanese are both pronounced shoujo, so the rifles are girls. Can't believe I only got that pun now.

Ah, that's the joke behind the show?

So, where is Emu-134-chan?

Episode 3:
Aww, I thought M16 was going to sing Panzerlied in the bath.

Apparently M16 gets metal balls stuck in her easily. And does modeling work.

WHOA F**K NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

Okay, okay... let's explain. M16 has some skin oil (gun oil, ya get it?) and is... ahem, applying it to a not-exactly-comfortable FNC. Complete with butt-stroking (...ha, ya get it?), breast grabbing, and lots of disturbing poses of a nude (but always, you know, covering) FNC. The sleazy music during the breast-grabbing, though... with the squishy oil noises...

Fortunately, FNC got rescued by a fellow gungirl. So SIG was the next target.

"Sensei said 'balls!'" (He slipped on an empty brass casing and fell; then said "don't leave bullets around like balls") "He's a sexual pervert!" Ohhh... you also work in the American educational system. Oh, no, wait. Here's it's funny. If it happens to me, I probably lose everything.

"Don't hit us! You're going to leave a dent!" Complete with comedy cranial eruptions. I WANNA BE A TEACHER IN JAPAN! Can throw things, smack students on the head...

M14 sneezed and had a giant wad of snot hanging out of her nose for a solid minute. God.

Also... Japanese people speaking French is... comedic.

Eww, L85A1 pinup in the transition. With panty shot. (-5)

...Sig is scary f**king good. She just sawed the heads off something like twenty silhouettes by waving her gun, on full auto, like a sword. Also, yay physics discussions!

Poor L85 still has a bump on her wittle head. "The sun is my friend."

And her bump faded. Then two girls walk by, "Hey! UV is bad for your plastic parts!" Aw crap.

THOMPSON-SENSEI! Aww, she's the elementary school teacher.

And they demonstrate SMGs not with a Thompson, not with an MP5... but with an MP40.

The little blonde elementary-schooler is Mac 10. And G3's little sister is MP5. Her name is Empi. Awww.

OH DAMN! SAVAGE KINDERGARTENER AHOY! "I have a question! Why is Eru-senpai still used by the British Army? Doesn't she break after being fired a hundred times?"
Another kindergartener: "No, they just throw the gun away after being fired a hundred times."

...Wow. Here's an insulting one. "Or maybe they retreat after firing a hundred shots." POPEY ARE YOU GONNA TAKE THAT FROM A BUNCH OF KINDERGARTENERS? THEY THINK YOU SHOULD SURRENDER LAS MALVINAS

Yes, the defective weapon is kept in service because of the dogged determination and stubbornness of the British people... which is good. Yes, very dogged. Very honorable. The schoolgirls are not making fun at all.


Also, apparently Finnish people have elf ears. Or at least... Finnish gun girls do. <_<


EDIT: So, I actually finished all ten episodes of Upotte in one sitting. I don't know if I can really give it a general recommendation. Oh, the show is funny and has its cute moments... but it's packed with fanservice and sexual content as well. And yes, I am splitting those into separate categories deliberately. So, if you have a high tolerance for both and want something funny to watch (though the end of the final episode is preachy as all f**k), maybe? Basically, if you don't turn it off partway through the fifth episode in absolute disgust... you can make it the rest of the way. >_>

[This message has been edited by Moff Yittreas (edited 07-16-2016 @ 11:33 AM).]

Currently watching that one, it's kinda bad but I like the colors so meh, it's short enough to watch through. As for the Finnish gun's elf ears, those might be a reference to the Finnish mythology that's chock-full of various types of elves like house elves and sauna elves (although they don't necessarily have pointy ears).

EDIT: Also, I very much dislike the depiction of the Finn in this one. We may be sneaky in war, but we're not rude !

EDIT2: Gave it a 3, the worst rating I've given to anything I've completed.

[This message has been edited by Major Helper (edited 07-12-2016 @ 03:59 AM).]

[Link removed; NSFL content]
Don't forget the OVA!

EDIT: Or maybe do. Eight minutes in and I've facepalmed twice and winced maybe ten times at the fanservice. Stupid beach river episodes.

EDIT2: Okay, nevermind. Full on topless and exposed breasts at the ten minute mark. NSFW. Don't worry; it's on FG42, not any of the middle schoolers. Lazy areola drawing, too.

EDIT3: And I'm done; full frontal upper nudity on Ichiroku. I don't care if they did find a natural hot spring. I don't care if it makes me a prude. Just no.

[This message has been edited by Moff Yittreas (edited 07-12-2016 @ 06:46 AM).]

When even a female underwear brand has seen Evangelion before you...

Isn't that mecha silliness? <_<

Eva isn't actually about mechs. It just looks like it is.

There should be a KanColle version of Pokemon Go.

The best you get is a school girl version of Pokemon snap

So, basically playing a stalker? >_>