No one knows me out side these forums so screw it i will throw this into the mix. I don't have sex with condoms (when in a serious relationship)

Now me and my GF have been having sex ALOT. Twice a day mostly. Well we broke up on friday (still love each other it's jst i got too much shit in the relationship, ppl interfeering and that)

Well she was a month late.... Two mins ago took a test. And text me telling me shes preggers. (which i guessed) So now ive got a girl i love pregnant with my baby, And i don't know what the hell to do.

Damn Seany way to kick this off.

I always use a condom because I want to avoid the situation you're in as much as possible.

Dammit I really don't know what to say this is way out of the blue. I'll get back to you after I get my head wrapped around this.

Seany, I've not been in anything like the situation that you're in, and nor have I previously experienced one, so please keep in mind that my advice is based purely on opinion. I realise that whilst it's all very well me saying "I advise this" or "I think this" - when it actually comes to doing it, it can be a very different situation. Please keep that in mind.

Now, I don't know you particularly well, I've only had the odd conversation while I still had MSN, but based purely on what little I have seen of you, I do think that you're a good chap fundamentally. If you have impregnated this young lady, I think you're totally aware that you're now responsible, and both she and, of course, the child need you.

The right thing to do as I see it would be to keep with this partner and give her all the support you can with whatever decision she decides to take. If she is pregnant, you're now dealing with another potential life, and you absolutely must do everything you can. This does mean taking flack, and that can be incredibly difficult. I'm afraid due to my inexperience, that's all I really feel I can say on the matter...

- Nick

[This message has been edited by Kromovaracian (edited 11-27-2006 @ 01:07 PM).]

Kromo's suggestions are very good despite his admitted inexperience.

I think the first thing you need to address is how you will break the news to your parents, and how your GF will do the same with hers. You should be prepared for one hell of a yelling I guess, and then you should make plans on how your going to take care of your GF and your future child such as where you will live, work schedules, costs for a crib and all the other baby needs, and what amount of financial support you will get from your family and hers.

One of my old friends had to deal with a similar situation in which her older sister got pregnant at a young age. Fortunately her parents were very understanding an supportive and right now they're all doing well.

There will be a lot of backlash and shouting, but I have no doubt you have the strength and determination to see this through.

I wish you, your girlfriend, and your future child peace, long life, and good fortune my friend, and if it doesn't sound too weird I guess the only thing I have left to say is congratulations.

I strongly believe in the family, so I'd advice you to marry your girlfriend and be the best father you can be to your child and allow the child to grow in a good family environment.

See the thing is, My life long dream has been to work on the rigs. And since i took the wrong college course i would have to spend the next 3 or MORE years at college. My EX (we broke up before we knew) Wants to be a midwife(ironically) And i don't really know if we could keep the child emotionally and financially.

Quote:

Thats exactly the same as with my girl (well, maybe not twice a day, and we make sure she is on the pill), so I guess I am kinda qualified to say what I'd do.

Me and my girl had the talk a few weeks back. She wasn't sure what she'd do, although I said I'd support her in whatever action she took. However, I stressed that while I'd be more than happy to have children one day, the year before I go to Uni wasn't the best time (for either of us), and so her having an abortion would be my preffered choice. Of course, I'd stay with her and help should she wishj to go through with the pregnancy.

I could say this applies to you. Assuming you are still in love with her, the obvious thing to do is stick by her (and stick by her you should). However, that doesn't mean don't voice your own point of view. At least tell her how you feel , and any issues you have, but be aware and respect the fact that the decision is ultimatly hers.

really, an abortion is nicest for the child... If you think about it, you admit you would find it hard to support the child financially and emotionally, so it would have a shit childhood, and as a result would either become a talented musician or more likely become one of the scum that Britain finds it so hard to deal with these days.

I know abortions are controversial, but like... its nicest for the child, AND its nicest for you and your partner, cause I'm sure neither of you really wanna be tied down now.

And from now on, use condoms or contraception(sp?) pills. That's what I would advice. But like I think it was Kromo said, saying is so much easier than doing...

Look, mate even though I don't know you. I think that if she wants to keep the well that's her decision.

But I think you'll make a great father.

I'm a virgin though but I have experince in giving out advice in RL from these situations

Jax brings up a very important point as abortion is also another option though personally I would only choose it if the would-be-mother of my child chose it herself.

If you are going to be away for 3 or so years then you won't be there for your child, and causing their child to grow up without a father is something that no real man wants. Unless your parents or hers would be willing to be there for your GF and your child when your away then you will have to choose between either finishing college, or dropping out and being there for them both.

This is a really difficult situation to say the least. Update us on the situation after you've talked with your girlfriend, or if you decide to with your parents and hers as well.

Well, I do believe you said at one point that you are catholic, Seany, so I guess an abortion is out. Personally, I support abortion, but not as a form of birth control...ultimately its the woman's choice. For better or worse, you may now have to shoulder the responsibilities of an adult.

Not to seem harsh, but I hope this teaches you to use protection next time. You should have been using a condom in the first place, serious relationship or not. You yourself have stated that you have slept around, and with a number of women. For the peace of mind of your girlfriend (and yourself) I would have expected that you would at the very least use a condom.

Seany, I'm sorry for your predicament, though I don't think I can say anything else without either dragging this discussion political or breaking the rules of the thread.

My friend recently had a crisis like this. His girlfriend was late a while back after they started having sex and he was in a panic. I mean, this guy is like a bro to me, but I had so little advice that I could give. I mean, I was totally at a loss. From my moral standpoint, I never even suggested abortion, but it really would've been a mess for him no matter what route he took, esspecially since both of them are still in highschool.

Basically, I can only tell you that you're not the one to have to go through the 9 months, so it's ultimately the largest part her choice as to what is gonna happen. As such, be supportive, esspecially if she keeps the child, which would be an incredible sacrifice. If you have to go to Uni, go to the university and study, even if it means that you won't be around for the first few years of your kid's life, but stay in contact, and make sure that you use your breaks to go see your family and do what ever you can financially to make life easier. After university, however, focus on finding work and supporting your kid. Only you two will know if you plan on getting married, but if you do, go through with the university anyway, whether you're married before the uni or after. I strongly suggest that you rely on your family for support through this.

As for my "crisis." My grandfather is in the hospital after a heart attack due to breathing complications and has been there for about 2 weeks. It's pretty clear that he isn't going to recover. I pray that you guys keep him in your prayers so that he either recover and come home or that if he is not to recover but will pass, then that his suffering be made easy and he die comfortably with dignity.

Amen ...

This thread is far too serious for me.

Thou who sows the wind reaps the storm.

I take all your suggestions and health wisely. Thanks for your help i know i have been the dick of RTW causing trouble all the time but im starting to grow up.

The way i look at it is i love engines. Weather runnin a car, tank, lorry or oil rig. I love them. I AM going to persua this carear path.

The Army is phoning me in an hour (I asked about REME) And as i see it, Im going to eater go to the army and get my degree or hopefully do it then join the Rigs.
I love my GF. We both would like a child. But we both realise we are only 17. I think that we will both come to an agreement (tonight) And i feel it will probably be to not have a child.

My father hasn't been here alot of my life, yes he supported us financially. We were well off. But all he done was work. And i don't want to be like that. I want what is best for my child. And the carear i want will not be best for the bairn.

But if She decides she wants to keep it i will be there for her totaly. I will not join the Army, Nor will i go onto the rigs, I will just persuae my carear as a construction manager and take night classes.

But as i said i won't find out till later on tonight.

EDIT: Ace my prayors and thoughts are with you, sometimes they can recover and i do hope he does. But you must always be prepared and be strong.

[This message has been edited by Seany Boi (edited 11-27-2006 @ 02:50 PM).]

Ace, very sorry to hear about your grandfather...hope things work out for the best.

Ace, my thoughts are with you.

May God watch over your grandfatehrand your family.

DU I have a thing to say. Thanks for making this thread. I just reliazed that this brings teh community here closer together as we find new things about each other.

So thanks DU even in this time of sadness.

I just brought this thread from the RTR forums. The real credit gos to Marcus Cornelius Marcellus who's the head moderator at the RTR forums. He started it after one of the forumers there commited suicide.

The TWH community is a pretty tight knit group and I knew a thread like this would help unite us more as a community and as friends.

Oh and by the way LOH you've got to start just editing your posts instead of double posting. Just a suggestion (okay it sounded more like an order just take my advice).

EDIT- Sorry if this seems rushed my internet's getting shaky again.

Ace I'm truly sorry for you and your family. I nearly lost my grandma and grandpa in an accident two years ago so I know how you feel a little bit. Rest assured that and many of our fellow forumers are praying for you, your family, and your grandfather. I know you have the strength within yourself to survive and get through this ordeal my friend.

Sincerely, Brandon R. aka DU

[This message has been edited by DominicusUltimus (edited 11-27-2006 @ 03:42 PM).]

Do I double post. Weird. I never see that come up on the forums whenever I go on RTWH.

Oh well. Let's hope that the same thing dosen't happen here

Ace Cataphract,

I have lost all my grandparents save one. All of whom were killed by heart disease, so I feel that I know something of what you are going through.

The only consolation I have to offer is to take solace in the times that you have spent together and to pray that he will pull through.

I got a problem...

It was around two years ago at christmas. My Grandfather got a REALLY bad case of the Flu. So bad in fact he started hallucinating and getting major migranes. He, being one who doesnt' regularly admit to something being wrong, said he needed help. We had to send him to the hospital because we didn't know what to do. Even his large amounts of medicine couldn't help. (He's a diabetic)

He managed to recover, but the hallucinations didn't stop. Only my Dad and my Grandmother went to see him in the hospital, but he said he saw and talked to all of us in the hospital.

About six months later, in mid-July, while we were visiting in Scotland, He was sitting in the Living room of our resort, and we sat there and watched him get utterly frustrated at the remote. So much so that he threw it on the ground and kicked it, saying it wasn't working. Although when my cousin picked it up, it worked fine.

Turns out that bad case of the Flu has done some detrimental brain damage to him, and its continuing to degrade. Some days he's all right, but other days he's almost inhuman. He's losing his ability to walk, speak, and even eat. His hands quiver whenever he holds a glass, and although he always had a heavy Italian accent, its even harder to understand him. We don't know how much longer he's going to last.

[This message has been edited by SuicidalScotsman (edited 11-27-2006 @ 04:50 PM).]

I think this shall become an over-used cliche here, but the important thing is to savor what time you have left with him.

The whole pregnancy thing... I phoned her and we have both agreed that abortion is the best option, I love her to bits and i will be there EVERY step of the way, making sure the appointments fit both our schedules so that i can go with her and keep her company, Im going to see her on wedsnesday aswell after college. I also have strong feelings for her aswell.

With time comes illness, Older people are more prone to illneses and the only thing we can do (this is what my mum said when my Grandad died) Is be happy we have spent this long with them and treasure every minute we have left with them.