someone else do the next part.

lol, I know, I'm trying to stop you getting to Tunisia.

I meant what Kilos made you do: send him off to join us bad guys.

I was trying to leave other people a chance to write a chapter and I really want Punic to join in. That's why I haven't written anything today.

[This message has been edited by Edorix (edited 12-23-2010 @ 05:43 PM).]

I was trying to leave other people a chance to write a chapter and I really want Punic to join in. That's why I haven't written anything today.

I wouldn't expect anything from me until at least Monday. When Christmas starts, I'm in family only mode. Plus with the new gifts that need be tired, books that need be categorized, and food to be eaten, I'm going to be Boocked

Nice one, Punic.

An early Merry Christmas to you all, zombie and lady-killers! Here we have already reached 24/12 ahead of the West.

I'll try getting round to write one today. Carthago Nova got me "sidetracked" earlier, but there'll be one Christmas special coming up later.

I meant what Kilos made you do: send him off to join us bad guys.

I know, It's so annoying! Wait, you're meant to be the bad guys??

I guess nobody needs to go to Tunisia just yet then... I'll write some more in a couple of hours.

[This message has been edited by Liam_the_Spartan (edited 12-24-2010 @ 06:08 AM).]

Wait, you're meant to be the bad guys??

It all depends on your frame of reference...

---------------------------------------------------------------------

KickAss looked around.

"Who's Eduardo?"

Then he spotted Ines and her plight and it finally clicked.

"Ohh... hey Ed, you know that chick you set to spy on Liam?"

"Yeah?"

"She's getting raped down that side-alley."

"Sure."

"I'm serious!"

"Wait, what?!"

Edorix backtracked and saw what was happening. Within a heartbeat his sling was loaded, aimed and released.

Ines noticed the thug go limp, and then his face flopped on her breast. Too frightened to move, she didn't push him off, and he simply slid off her onto the ground with a dull thud. Shaken, she looked up to see her beloved Eduardo running towards her. Her eyes lit up. Edorix noticed and skidded to a halt. He had to remind himself he was already taken. Neither said anything for a few moments, so KickAss stepped in.

"Are you alright?"

She seemed to notice him for the first time.

"Si, si... gracias."

Now what? Edorix cursed under his breath. He had thought he had gotten rid of her, but these Spanish girls were apparently more persistent than the ladies of Clausentum with whom he had grown up. The thing he was most worried about was that he would give in to the temptation - and his girlfriend back in the Forest of Arduinna was a druidess. She always knew. Not only that, believe it or not Edorix didn't actually want to break faith with her. So in his bad Spanish, he tried to get away.

"Well, take care of yourself. We have to go."

He turned, but KickAss stopped him from leaving.

"Did you see her face when you said that?" he muttered. "She'll kill herself if you walk away."

Reluctantly, Edorix turned. Her eyes reflected the most profound despair he had ever seen. The power of sexual attraction is not to be underestimated.

"Okay fine, I was kidding, come with us. We're going to Tunisia on the next ship."

[This message has been edited by Edorix (edited 12-24-2010 @ 06:53 AM).]

‘You know, Kick, I keep feeling this weird tug on my shoulder - it’s like somebody’s looking for me, but I have not the slightest idea of who that might be.’ uttered an uncertain Edorix to his companion. The trio - KickAss and Ines the Spanish bonita and Edorix - were walking from the piers into the bustling streets of the city of Tunis. They have come to Africa after a brief voyage across the calm waves of the Mediterranean, and now they strode through the busy marketplace, on their way to Edorix’s ally, who had his base somewhere around this city.

‘Well I don’t know what you’re on about, mate,’ replied the airy Asian next to him, ‘but all I feel weird about this place is the weather - I mean, Christmas Eve is supposed to mean “frosty”, right?’

‘Consider yourself lucky - 15 degrees Celsius is not so bad. At least Tunis is way more Christmas-y than where you live, or Australia, for that matter. And don’t forget, we have like zero protective clothing and gear for the elements. If we meet a sandstorm or something on the way to my pal’s base, be prepared to be blown away - literally.’

‘Won’t a sandstorm blow you away anyway, with or without thick coats?’

‘Eh, I see your point. Bad example.’

‘Let’s just shut up and be on our way, shall we, gentlemen?’ the fit Spanish bonita behind them prompted.

‘That’s what we’re doing!’ the Briton protested.

‘Where is this place of your friend’s, anyway?’ inquired the Asian, with not a little hint of impatience.

‘If memory serves, it lies somewhere within this tangle of streets before us.’

‘That’s… bullshit.’

‘I know, I just can’t remember exactly where it is. We may have to look for it.’

‘Then I suggest we get to it, and fast, I got a feeling we’re not alone here.’

‘I like your pragmatism, lass.’ KickAss remarked with a grin.

Ines was right.

[This message has been edited by GeneralKickAss (edited 12-24-2010 @ 07:38 AM).]

KickAss, since when did she speak English? Or you Spanish?

Punic Hoplite was walking about the streets of Tunis, going from this shadow to the next. It was all a part of his plan to make it back to his posh home in the northern part of the city.

"Hey, did you see that?" said a passer-by.
"I think I did. Anyone of that speed must know of something useful."
"Let's go after him". Soon a small mob was after him, dashing from street to street.

Gotta love the mob mentality he thought. Now, with the crowd out of his way, it'd be much faster to his home, and comfort.

Suddenly, a siren started, and was growing louder until it reached it's zenith. Han had heard this warning many times, and knew what it meant.

Sandstorm

He started off at a dead sprint. "It's a good thing I run with Kenyans a lot, but this would be so much faster with my horse" Punic said quietly to himself. Upon turning a corner, and with it in sight of his house, he ran into...

**********

Just a quick little intro for myself. Thought the time would be right

[This message has been edited by Punic Hoplite (edited 12-26-2010 @ 04:37 PM).]

BANG!

Liamidas fell to the floor. He felt pain, all over his face and arms. Getting up, hardly being able to see through his broken glasses (Did I ever tell you guys I wear glasses?), he felt around for whatever he crashed into, planning on using it to protect him from the sand scratching at his face. When he got pulled through a doorway to his left.

"Sorry, I couldn't se-" Upon seeing his old friend, Punic Hoplite smiled. "Ah, Liam, what brings you to my humble palace?"

"You dragged me in here, that's what!" Rubbing his shoulder.

"Would you like to go back outside then?"

"Nah, I'm alright" He got up. "So, did you get my letter?"

"A hello would be nice to begin with, but yes, and we have some talking to do. But first lets get cleaned up and get you some new clothes." Taking his black hood off, he walked into a back room. Liamidas followed.

"Dude, what you doing?" Said a half naked Punic.

"Sorry, I thought I was meant to come through here... Can I have a room?"

"Sure, take your pick, Just make sure I don't catch you spying on my naked self again my gay friend."

"Dude, Just, AAgHHH!" He made a random noise and left. Walking along the halls, he found a room to his liking. He let himself drop onto the bed.
He sighed, took off his armour, leaving his weapons and shield on the floor, he went into the bathroom and had a shower. Noticing the scented candles and body lotions, he thought it was a bit ironic that punic called him gay. Shaking his head, he went back into his room to put some of the elegant clothing on. Wishing he could go and get some new glasses. He could see without them but not very well. Not the details every spartan needs to see.

"Knock, Knock" said someone just outside the door.

"You can just knock you know, you don't actually have to say it."

He knocked on the door.

"Come in."

"Hey" It was punic. "Nice clothes. You must have a very good fashion sense."

"Thanks, I picked them myself" He smiled.

"Anyway, now we talk. Why does a king wonder the streets of tunisia?"

"Well, I was with Genera-" He hit himself in the forhead. "Shit! I left GeneralScruff out there in the storm!"

"Well that was clever" He said sarcastically.

"Ah well, he'll find his way after a while. Lets just hope Edorix doesn't get to him first."

"Oh yeah, tell me about him and the asian, I didn't quite understand in your letter." So he told him everything he knew.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

BANG!

He heard a bang next to him but carried on running, only stopping once he got inside an Inn. Then he realised Liam must've got lost.

Taking the foreign money out of his pocket, he walked over to the receptionist. "A room, please" He said to the tall guy behind the counter.

"That would be 40 for a night."

Looking at the strang notes and coins in his hand, he tried to find the right notes but failed. "Well, here you go" He gave him over 200. The man looked happy and gae him his room key.

He found the right room and went inside. Striping then having a shower, and got into bed.

Silence at last.

No. He heard some voices in the hall, he tried to ignore them at first. But the clear voices travelled into the room next to him and continued into the night. It sounded like two men and a woman, He thought he recognised the male voices but not the female, who kept speaking in spanish, then english.

"It's them!" He said a bit louder than he meant to. The voices abrupty stopped, but continued again after awhile.

He waited untill he was sure they were asleep then headed for the door.

[This message has been edited by Liam_the_Spartan (edited 12-25-2010 @ 04:38 AM).]

Just want to point out something before we go on. Remember that this is a zombie filled post-apocalypse time. Tunis would not be a busting metropolis. Some people might survive, and the streets would not be filled with zombies due to the heat (and sandstorms). However, it would not be a metropolis.

It'll be easier for me to write the dialogue

EDIT: Writing and will have it up in thirty minutes. Thanks.

[This message has been edited by GeneralKickAss (edited 12-25-2010 @ 03:39 AM).]

Erm... GKa... It's been over an hour... joke, Can't wait to read it.

sorry

* * *

‘You know, for an Asian, you are surprisingly obnoxious.’ the Celt snapped at his comrade.

‘I only reflect my opinions to you candidly, as a compadre should.’ KickAss countered with daggers in his smile.

‘Well thanks, but I don’t think I need them.’

‘Listen to me, confrѐre.’ KickAss pinched the Briton’s cheeks with both hands, ‘What you need to do is wake up, and snap out of it, because we don’t have much time left.’

‘Snap out of what?’ Edorix was suddenly uneasy: KickAss knew.

‘Would you two cut it already?’ An indignant female Spanish voice called out behind them.

Just then the three heard someone next door cry out in alarm, and froze. A male, judging from the low pitch. KickAss did not catch what the man yelled, and nothing followed the first cry. Ines moved closer to Edorix’s side, nervous because she was in unfamiliar ground, with no one to depend on but the gorgeous Celt and the tall Asian. She missed home, but not as much as she wanted to be with this mysterious man she had met.

Whoever had made that fearful exclamation did not follow it up, so they assumed that everything was fine and that some pervert guest had thought it funny to make a random noise in the dead of the night. The conversation resumed.

‘I think the Asian’s right, handsome.’ Ines purred on Edorix’s shoulder, and he immediately felt something sharp being shoved right into his Celtic butt. The Durotrigian had an idea of what was happening to him: someone was working magic - Druidic magic - on both his mind and body, and it began right after he agreed to let Ines join them.

‘Dude, still with us?’

‘Er - y-yeah.’ Edorix pulled his long hair back and thought for a second. ‘Look, I know you’re anxious to make progress, but there’s really nothing we can do to find Punic once the sandstorm began, which is why we are still stuck here. Therefore I suggest we all save our energy for later and hit the sack. Once it stops blowing out there, we’ll get right on with it.’

‘I dig that plan, lover-boy.’ Ines purred.

Why would you not. ‘Erm, actually I think I’m not that tired yet.’ He got up abruptly from the double-bed, causing Ines to fall unsupported onto the velvety cushions. She looked confused.

‘You wanna go for a drink downstairs, mate?’ KickAss jerked his head at the door.

‘You read my precise thoughts.’

With that, the pair walked out the door into the dark corridor, and went down the wooden stairs that creaked with each footfall. The inn they found was a rather derelict structure in a run-down neighborhood of Tunis, yet the choice was not exactly theirs for a sandstorm had come not long after they wandered off the piers, and this was the first building they came upon that had a door on it and a sign sporting a blue crescent on a white field.

The bartender was middle-aged, balding, bearded and had heavy eyebrows.

‘One martini, with a pink umbrella on top.’ KickAss ordered, and earned a strange smile from his friend.

‘Warm milk, please.’ Edorix also made his order to the barkeep, and gained raised eyebrows from his companion.

‘So, Ed.’ The Asian turned to his friend as the barkeep handed them their drinks, which tasted less horrible than both men expected. ‘You going to tell me what went on back there?’

Edorix took a large gulp, checked the doorway leading to the staircase, and kept his voice low. ‘Remember that girl I had back home? Well, she was a Druidess, and not just any Druidess either, and she always knows right away when I’m getting too close to another girl.’

His words received a wide-eyed response. ‘And what can she do about it?’ asked the Chinese as he too took a sip.

‘Oh - so many things. Play tricks in my head, do stuff to my body.’ Edorix rubbed his butt that was still smarting from the jab he received, drawing KickAss’ gaze down there - in a friendly, concerned way, mind.

‘Wow, like, she could be listening in to this conversation right now?’ KickAss questioned, and got a nod from Edorix, ‘Well, I do have to say, you sure know how to pick a girl. By Hades, a Druidess!’

‘Shut up. You won’t be saying another word about her if you’ve met her. As beautiful as Branwen, she is, maybe even fitter.’

‘Let’s hope she heard that.’ KickAss looked up, as if looking up at the heavens.

‘Dude, listen, the problem isn’t about her, it’s about the Spanish girl.’

‘Ines? So you’ve gotta tell her that you’ve got a girl already, if you want to live.’

‘It’s not that bad. But she might not understand.’

‘What, she’s not stupid. We’ll get the translation done, eventually.’

‘I meant she might not empathize.’

‘That’s out of our hands, isn’t that?’

‘She knows our plans.’

‘Then we’ll have to make sure she doesn’t talk.’ KickAss cracked his knuckles, and turned his gaze to the staircase.

‘Whoa, chill, dude. You think this is some kind of gangster movie or something?’

‘You tell me what to do, then, seeing that you obviously have a better plan.’

‘Er… We’ll deal with it if we have to, but for the moment, let’s really get some rest. I feel I need it.’

‘I like that course of action. But remember that Ines’ gonna want to sleep in the same bed with you.’

‘I’ll sleep on the floor then - without a mattress if I have to.’

And so the two left the bar and went back up the stairs to their room, as the sandstorm raged on outside.

Scruffy took a deep breath. Being as quiet as posible, with a dagger in his hand, he opened the door. Not turning the light on as that would alert them of his presence. He took a lighter out his pocket and clicked.

Looking around through their stuff. He found a torch and used that instead. He opened the bedroom door and noticed a young girl on the bed, her face pressed against what was obviously Edorix's jacket.

He stopped in his tracks as voices floated in from the hall. Then they entered the main room. Scruffy jumped under the bed just in time. Both KickAss and Edorix had come in.

"You sleep on the other bed. I'll sleep on the floor." Scruffy could make out a hand massaging Edorix's celtic butt. He feared the worst. Kickass and Edorix were actually gay lovers and they were going to do it right on top of him!
He waited for them to start. Planning on escaping once they got into it. Looking to his left, he sighed with relief, it was Edorix's own hand on his own butt.

Then the celtic body dropped to the floor next to him, facing the window. If the celt looked round then he'd be dead. Scruffy stayed as quiet as posible.

[This message has been edited by Liam_the_Spartan (edited 12-25-2010 @ 10:53 AM).]

Scruffy could make out a hand massaging his celtic butt. He feared the worst. Kickass and Edorix were actually gay lovers and they were going to do it right on top of him!

Thank you, Liam. I shall pay that back.

KickAss, your chapter made me laugh out loud three times in succession. Nice one.

By the way, guys, I'm technically not a Celt. I'm a Brit. It's a scholar's pedantic attention to detail in his own subject, but still. Just for reference.

------------------------------------------------------------

Edorix did not look around, but he lay perfectly still, and silenced his breathing. Of course, he knew someone was there, and he thought KickAss did too. But he was waiting for the opportune moment. The slightest sound, and he would pounce. Several minutes passed. Then - right on the brink of imperceptibility - a slithering sound, like the stealthy sliding of a body over a varnished wooden floor. Edorix counted to ten - then leapt up, with a roar of Catu belan! elbowed the handgun out of the way, and knocked the intruder to the floor.

Ines screamed. The lights came on. Edorix kicked the gun out of the way, and looking down recognised Scruffy.

"So," he whispered, thus both reminding everyone to be quiet and heightening the atmosphere for the dramatic purposes of the story, "what have we here. Oh look - the very man I have been searching for. Clever, Scruff, getting yourself caught like this. I have every moral right to kill you right now."

Scruff considered calling for help - but Edorix would have killed him by the time it arrived, and anyway, he didn't want to give them the satisfaction. His only hope was that Liam or someone had noticed his absence, decided he had been gone too long, and sent someone to find him. That was a lot of ifs - but there was nothing he could do. He just had to play for time.

"Are you going to kill me, Edorix?"

"I am bound by my contract with the Antichrist to do so, yes. I have not yet decided how precisely I shall go about it, or when. And first, I want to know how you knew we were here and who helped you get here."

Brilliant, thought Scruff. There is nothing which makes playing for time easier than torture.

"Too bad."

"Too bad what?"

"Too bad you want to know that and you never will."

Edorix shrugged. "Fair enough." He drew his sword, but took his foot off Scruff's chest. "Get up. No I'm not going to duel you - not here for sure - that death would be far too honourable for my murderer. KickAss, we're leaving. We have one of our targets, and I don't plan on letting him escape."

"Ed, you know how in the movies it's always trying to find a suitably slow and painful end for the hero that the bad guy fails to kill him?"

"I know what you're saying, but the difference is that here, we are the heroes, he is the bad guy. Still, you're right; that's why I'm taking no chances and we're leaving immediately."

A creak from the other room.

Everybody froze. Scruffy dared not hope that Liamidas might have sent a band of Spartans to find him. A long moment of complete silence passed.

"Let's go," Edprix breathed. "KickAss first, then Ines, then the prisoner. I'll follow."

In silence, KickAss went over to the window, eased it open, climbed out, and dropped the six feet or so to the ground. He dusted himself off, and signalled to Ines. She climbed onto the sill, then turned to look at Edorix. He felt the animal impulse deep within his abdomen - then everything happened at once.

The sexual urge in his abdomen transformed into a stab of pain. He gasped and sank to the floor. In his mind's eye, dimly, an image overlay the consciousness of his present; a beautiful pale-faced girl with dark hair, in a clearing in a forest, held a wicker doll with a lock of his hair tied around its head in one hand and a dagger in the other. Ines screamed, looking at something behind him. In a motion laden with sexuality, the Druidess inserted the dagger slowly into the belly of the doll, and Edorix doubled up in pain again. Scruffy siezed his chance and dived for his gun, but Edorix had enough presence of mind to grapple him round the ankles and bring him down. Back in the present, he felt another sharp pain, this time in his chin, as Scruffy kicked him in the face, trying to free himself. The vision dissolved. Snarling, Edorix freed his sword arm from beneath himself and clawed his way up Scruff's body, determined to kill him if it was the last thing he did. Someone had turned out the lights again. He raised his sword-arm, and shouted over his shoulder to Ines to just go, dammit. That was when another pain, even more acute than before, penetrated his abdomen. Still straddling Scruffy with his legs, he cried out, dropping his sword, his hands clawing at his belly. Scruffy threw Edorix off him, but even as he did Edorix was recovering. It was his turn to dive for his weapon - but too late. The butt of a Spartan spear collided with his shoulder, diverting his trajectory, and he fell just an inch to the side. His hand scrabbled at the pommel of his sword-hilt, and then strong arms gripped his shoulders and dragged him upright. Bronze breastplates and dark scarlet tunics glinted in the moonlight through the window. With a bestial roar that would have made Bendigeidfran jealous, he tore himself free of the Spartans' grip, knocked another bodily out of his way, never noticing the blow from a xiphos glance off his ribs, and threw himself towards the window. The force of his leap smashed the upper pane of glass into fragments, but even as he fell, he heard a shot ring out.

He landed hard but not too hard, having half checked his fall, struggled back to his feet, and set off at a run. But the pain in his knee from his fall, and a growing pain in the side of his chest and his shoulder where the bullet had hit him slowed him down. Before he had gone many paces, he sank to his knees, dizzy with pain. Ahead of him, he made out the silhouettes of KickAss and Ines getting away, vanishing into the shadows of the night. He could not follow.

As the Spartans seized him once more, he was no longer struggling. The pale face of the beautiful young Druidess swam in front of his vision. He put back his head and howled. There were tears in his eyes - tears of betrayal.

[This message has been edited by Edorix (edited 12-25-2010 @ 11:42 AM).]

I knew it!

[This message has been edited by Generalscruff (edited 12-25-2010 @ 10:55 AM).]

Reading it all back again, I just realised how badly I write, Ah well.

Scruffy could make out a hand massaging his celtic butt. He feared the worst. Kickass and Edorix were actually gay lovers and they were going to do it right on top of him!

Thank you, Liam. I shall pay that back.

LOL

[Writing...]

Like... On this thread?

Yes. See last post. I had a lengthy action scene that I wanted to get right, that's why I was a bit slow.

[This message has been edited by Edorix (edited 12-25-2010 @ 11:36 AM).]

But, it said you went off-line half way through so I thought you'd given up or something. Pretty good though. My men capturing you, even though I bought no soldiers with me. Nah, anything's posible in this world.

There:
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

GeneralKickAss looked back, Edorix was on the floor surrounded by spartans, blood slowly spreading across the floor. "Oh shit..." Ines caught up.

"We have to go back!"

"Nah, we wouldn't survive 10 seconds against them."

"So you're just going to leave him?" She had a strang mixture of emotions on her face; Anger, worry, disbelief, etc.

"It's your fault he's back there!"

"Bu-" She stopped herself. "What do you mean it's my fault?"

"You, just you being here, looking at him with those eyes, swishing your hair about as you do is putting him in danger." So as they made their way north, KickAss told her about the druidess girl Edorix picked up.

"That [censored][censored]! Why would she want to hurt my love?"

"I dunno, I don't get what's so special about him." They continued travelling north through the streets, leaving footprints in the flat sand left over from the storm. Stopping only to get ice-creams, Ines buying vanilla, GKA buying Belgian chocolate or green tea.

"Ew ew EW!" pointing at his ice-cream "What in the devil's name is that??"

"Green tea-" He stopped mid-sentence. A strange feeling came over him at the name of satan. He was close. GKA started looking around him for anywhere, or anybody, the devil may be. The shadows looked very dark for midday.

"Who are you?" Ines said suddenly.

"Err, what?"

"Well, it's just I don't know anything about you. How did you meet Eduardo?"

"It's a long story."

"I have time"

"Well I don't." He continued looking around himself, running through shadows and questioning people. He looked at Ines. "You're in her aren't you!"

"Siriously dude, you got mental problems."

Turns out it wasn't Ines either. He looked behind them at the end of the street. The sun stinging his eyes. "Oh, crap. Get in here!"

He pulled her through a narrow alleyway. A group of spartans could be heard marching up the street.

"SShhh" He looked down at her. The alley was tighter than he expected, their bodies were pressed together. He could feel her breasts pushing into him, it took all his control to ignore it and not get aroused.

The spartan patrol passed, 2, 4, 6, they marched by two in two. The last couple were carrying a struggling Edorix. Phew, he was still alive.

Once they had passed, KickAss peeked his head out of the alley. He pulled Ines out. There was an awkward silence between them. "Qu- What do we do now?"

"Now" Feeling the Devil's presence around him. "Now, we follow."

[This message has been edited by Liam_the_Spartan (edited 12-25-2010 @ 01:48 PM).]

Liam, remember you and Scruff are technically supposed to be opposed to us. Don't make us look too good. Still, nice chapter. I lolled in a couple of places, cried in one - this:

I dunno, I don't get what's so special about him.

You'd better have a good explanation KickAss.

Liam, remember you and Scruff are technically supposed to be opposed to us. Don't make us look too good.

First of all, realise I try and make GKA sound evil at the end, with the devils presense and stuff.
Second, At the moment, I'm not completely sure who's good and who's bad.
Third, Who says I'm on Scruffy's side? Joke, I kind of have to be....

I lolled in a couple of places

Yeah, that tends to happen with what I write...

In a good way, man. eg this:

"You're in her aren't you!"