It was a peaceful day on 33 Star Wars Lane. Everything was bright and shining. Everyone had smiles on their faces. Everyone, that is, except for a poor Jawa. Jake was his name. He could speak english, just like everyone else.

While trying to move into a house with many other people, Han Solo, Princess Leia, and even the droid OOM-9, he was put down every time. He didn't have anywhere to go, but then he saw it. 5511, 33 Star Wars Lane. It was perfect. A small house, just big enough for a Jawa. Bringing in his U-Haul, he unloaded all his thing and brought the boxes into the house. It was perfect.

A few days later, Jake couldn't help but feel a little lonely. Hoping for someone to move in, he went searching for a roommate...

To Be Continued...

I am Darth Sidous!

oooo I get dibs on Yoda

Yoda was thinking about where he was going to move.
"Hhmm, which house suits me best?" he thought.
He finally settled on a trailor.

"Now, do what with my life shall I?" he thought. "Be an old meanie I shall be! Nasty to kids I shall be! Hmm hmm!"

Yoda sat on his front doorstep. Anakin Skywalker walked by.
"Aware are you that look like a dork you do, hhmm?" called Yoda.
"Hey you better watch it." replied Anakin. "One day I'll be the most powerful jedi!"
"oohh think you shall be a powerful jedi do you hhmm? Patience! Patience is the virtue of the jedi it is. Or else turn you to the dark side it shall! Dork Vader you shall become!"
"You hurt my feelings! Mommy! Padme! He hurt my feelings" cried Anakin. He ran off home to go to bed like a good little boy.
"Ha hoo ha hoo hoo haha!" laughed Yoda.
"What are you laughing at?" called 3PO.
"Your beeswax, none of!" Yoda continued laughing.

From then on everyone feared going by Yodas doorstep as he would be so mean to them.

Dibs on R2-D2
he was awesome
every other bleep was swearing
plus noone understamds but C3po

I want to be OOM-9!

One day it sat a Battle Droid on the ground doing nothing... Then he wake and said "OOM-9 Functional" and walked away.

He went to a Mech shop where he had decided to buy a Tank. But he had no money! So he went to rob someone. He found a drunk Sith that he shot. The Sith had some money and a lightsaber that OOM-9 took and sold. Then he buyed a tank and a house on Star Wars Lane 33. Then he moved in and deactivated himself for a time...

[This message has been edited by Obi_Wan (edited 08-12-2002 @ 05:12 AM).]

While Yoda continued jeering at everyone.

Ok i shall be Jake (for some reason i prefere Jake to Nathen)

Jake looked around Starwars Lane looking for a house. Finnally he found one. It was a 3 bedroom detached house with a swimming pool and a laser turret.

Then jake went and bought a speeder.

Neo222: I'm Jake! Jake the Jawa, so identify yourself as someone else (or another Jake, but not a Jawa)

As the houses were filling up, Jake knew he had to find a job, maybe make some money. I mean, he's a Jawa! They make .5 cents an hour.

He walked downtown, to where everyone gathered for an afternoon coffee. As he searched, he came across many old friends. Owen Lars, Luke Skywalker, and even his old best pal, Bob the Jawa. However, he still hadn't found a job!

Then he saw it. The "Star Wars Gazette", with a help wanted sign in the window. He walked in, noticed everyone working hard to deliver the paper on time. He walked to the front desk and asked,
"Excuse me? What kind of help do you need?"
"We need someone to create the article ideas. We have been without one since our master became angry and had the last one disintigrated." A tall droid answered.
"I'll take it." Jake replied.

And from then on, Jake would be behind every newspaper article people read on their front porch. Here's this week's main article.

Sith Found Dead
According to our sources, a Sith Knight, minding his own buisiness, was shot down yesterday. The gunshot wounds apper to be from a blaster rifle, not a handgun. No name has been released as to who the killer is. They think it might have been stormtroopers. The knight was completely robbed of all his things. His lightsaber was even found later on that day in a nearby pawn shop. Whoever had such a sick mind as to kill an innocent Sith? Whoever it was, I'm sure we all would not like it to happen again, for the town's own peace!
- Jake the Jawa

[This message has been edited by OOM_9_77 (edited 08-12-2002 @ 12:44 PM).]

Darth Sidous sat in his car, which was cruisin' down the streets.He looked a trailor parked next to his house.He parked his car, walked to the door, and began to poke Yoda and laugh, but the said,"Why are ya in me yard, laddy?"Yoda looked at him and said,"Funny acsent you have.AHAHAHAHAHAH(HAHAHAHAHAHA in Yoda talk)""I'm Scottish and Im gonna call tha neghiborhood watch patrol to come after ya if ye dont get out in.......ONE DAY!!"

Jake walked home from his new job. The newspaper was a complete success. However, he would soon be happier than he ever thought.

That night, Dash Rendar, the host of Channel 4 news, came to Jake and offered him to take over the position. Of corse, Jake accepted and was now a news anchor. Dash moved into a nive house right accross the street.

Suddenly, Jake realized it was 10 to six! He was on in ten minutes! He quickly ran down to the station and got ready to report. The entire day's news was in front of him.

The 6:00 News:
"We have new information on the Sith murder today. Inside his pocket a small metal part was found. Obviously a droid. What kind of droid could have done this? Police are conducting a full investigation of the city."

"In other news, Yoda, the grumpy old green muppet of 33 Star Wars Lane is still laughing his head off. However, a brave individual, Darth Sidious, has taken action, telling Yoda to move his trailer in a day, or else."

"Now over to weather with Padme Amidala. And Remember, we're here every night at six!"

I am Jake the human from the Starwars Roleplay thread VIII The Sith War

anyway

Jake drove around before he crashed into a trailer

"Get lost, you will!" yoda said

"Shut up!"

Jake then left the trailer and went to the employment office to look for a job.

OOM-9 sat and watched TV when he saw The News on Channel 4!

They had found the dead sith! "Uh-Oh" he thought and locked the door. Then he sat down with his computer and hacked into the Channel 4 Main Computer and got it to think that Yoda killed him"

[This message has been edited by Gurko (edited 07-20-2003 @ 05:25 PM).]

i can be Screwbacca, gregorttos friend and pet.

of course i speak scottish! i'm a wookie!

When Sidious came up to Yoda and started bugging him, little did Sidious know Yoda stuck a "kick me" sign to his back. Sidious wondered why everyone was kicking him

The cops drove up Sidious's driveway.

"What do you want?" asked Yoda.

"Ur under arrest for the murder of a Sith Knight and for stealing a guy's property.

"Do about it, what will you, hhmm?" snickered Yoda.

"Take you to jail!" and the cop tried to grab Yoda.

Yoda whacked him with his stick. "hmmm hmmm, funny creatures humans are. And smell horrible they do! Realize how bad he smells this poor git does, yes."

Yoda pulled him in the trailor and tied him down into a closet.

"haha! Be tortured, those who mess with me will be! ha hoo hoo hehe haha!" laughed Yoda.

Screwbacca went around on the street and threw stones on people.

It resulted to arresting, the poor Wookie thought that humans liked to be stoned...

He called he's master and freind, Darth Sidious for help...

Sidous was kicked by a mynock and then shot him.He walked up to his house and was hit by a rock.He saw Scerwbacca being himself.He then helped Scerwbacca by picking him up and scerming in Gallic."(I'll make you 'at that small 'reen thinge next door if you don't stop)"He then poked him and Sidous sent him to Yoda's house to kill Yoda, as he would plant bombs next to the house and put OMM-9's handprint on it.

Yoda saw Srcewbacca get thrown. Yoda captured him, whacked him on the head.

"Who sent you?" asked Yoda.

"I'll never tell!" said the wookie.

"Tell you will!"

"No!"

"Fine." Yoda reached for a noseplug, then for a big, smelly diaper. Yoda was 864 years old and had a lot of children. Being cruel, they all used the same diaper all their life. So it REALLY stunk.

Yoda threw the wookie into a special chair then put the diaper on a thing. It held it in front of the wookies nose.

"TELL!" shrieked Yoda.

"oohhhh maannn ooohhhh, NO!"

"you asked for it." Yoda hit a button. Duck tape was placed over the wookies mouth so he had to breathe through his nose. When he still refused, Yoda put the wookies head IN the diaper.

After 10 minutes of endless torture, Yoda took it off. The wookie cried SIDIOUS!

"Sidious die, must!" said Yoda. He threw Srcewbacca in the closet along with the cop.

why am I having mental pictures of The Sims with a bunch of Star Wars skins?

*waves arm overhead*

oooopay! leelalakalaaaa!

lol

I haven't played the Sims in about 2 years but I remember it

As another day past, many people were fighting and torturing each other. Jake the Jawa was still all alone, but making good money! With his successful life going uphill, he knew only good things could come his way.

The 6:00 News
"Our top story tonight, it appears Yoda has been arrested for framing the droid OOM-9 at murder. He claims he didn't kill the Sith knight, but our computers never lie. OOM-9 had only this to say:"
OOM-9: "I saw him, he killed the Sith and sold his lightsaber for spare droid parts and spread them over the body. Then, as he came toward me, he knocked me out and that's all I remember."
"Yoda will be in court next week. The investigation is on hold until then."

"On a brighter note, the new cafe, 'Admiral Snackbar' is open for business. There will be a grand opening sale for anyone who comes in all this week."

"Wherever there is good news, there comes bad. The famed Jedi Anikan Skywalker has been proclaimed guilty of murdering an entire tribe of Tuskan Raiders on the remote world of Tatooine. If you have any information at all about Skywalker's location, please call 1-800-4-BOUNTY to talk to our large group of famous Bounty Hunters."

[This message has been edited by OOM_9_77 (edited 08-13-2002 @ 09:30 PM).]

Then me and my friends came and...oh, this is Star Wars? Hmm...let me think...

I send 10 billion clone troopers to kill you!

No....hmmmm...

OOM9, go onto MSN.

what????

Yoda did not kill the Sith! I would have had to say it!

ooc: its a plot by obi_wan A.k.a Oom-9, he try to set you up...

Screwbacca woke up and could here Yoda sing in the shower, "easy it's not, being green"

He found yodas safe,( [¤] ) opened it and took all the money...

then he flew out thorugh the wall like superman!

OOM-9 had just been on an interview with a jawa where he had said that he saw when Yoda killed the Sith.

On the way home he thought "Ha-Ha-Ha, I'm so smart!" Then he fell over a body! It was a wookiee! OOM-9 marched so fast to the police station as he could! He even did'nt looked if the wookiee was dead!

When he came to the police station he said that he found a dead wookiee and that he THOUGHT that Yoda had killed it!

[This message has been edited by Obi_Wan (edited 08-14-2002 @ 08:36 AM).]

Quote:

I protest that is unrealistic.

IC:
Yoda looked out at his lawn. The grass was getting tall. He looked at other lawns. Nice and mowed.
"Easier, so much, going with the natural look." he said.

He decided to go to town.

He walked into a store. Some guy walked up to him.
"Hey you! Ya wanna buy some deathsticks?"

"Ok." Yoda tried to use one and it blew up! Yoda went flying into the pet store.

"oohh pretty Ewok!" he said. He bought it.

He bought the ewok stuff, named him Ricky, and realized he was out of money.

So he got a job at a weapons factory.

Jake the Jawa just finished his second news cast when he realized he had no defense from the weirdos and freaks walking all around town. He walked into the weapon store and saw the most frightening scene in the world.

Someone had a lightsaber and was trying to hold up Yoda! But suddenly, Yoda pulled out his cane and fought back! The criminal fled the store in horror, crying along the way.

Jake, suddenly losing his desire for a weapon, walked outside and saw OOM-9 walking to the police station. Jake started to walk toward him, but OOM-9 started to walk faster. Jake couldn't keep up. Was OOM-9 trying to hide something from him? There was only one way to find out. Infiltrate his house and find some evidence...

To Be Continued...

[This message has been edited by OOM_9_77 (edited 08-14-2002 @ 01:21 PM).]

Jake left the employment office. He had no job becuase the people at the employment office refused to give a job to an 11 year old.

He then stole a lightsabre and decieded to kill yoda. He was going to pay for telling Jake to get lost.

"MWAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA"

suddenly though he was teleported back to his home. There was a droid stuck in the wall. He had crashed into it while flying along towards the police station.

Jake ignited the stolen lightsabre and decapitated the knocked out droid.

[This message has been edited by neo222 (edited 08-14-2002 @ 01:53 PM).]

Screwbacca took the policemans gun that Yoda forgot to take

then he shoot up the door and saw the ewok, he took the fuzzball as hostage and left the trailor fireing at the mean jedi bastard master...

then he went down into the sewers with the ewok and gun.

Screwbacca has lived in the sewers for a long time so he could find there and could easyily get away to a subway station....

[This message has been edited by Tarkin_Jr (edited 08-14-2002 @ 04:51 PM).]

Yoda came home from work that day. It had been a great day! He finally had a job and could buy stuff.

He decided "Hhmm, now that happy I am, no longer shall I be mean to everyone!" Thats right folks, Yoda is gonna be friendly now!

But when he came home to let the policeman and Srcewbacca free, He discovered them gone. AND RICKY WAS GONE!

"Oh no!" Yoda started crying on his trailor steps. "I could report it to the police! But crime I have done before. The wookies crime makes up for it, yes it does. Sigh. Still, I am being good! Ricky, I want back!"

Yoda goes out looking for Ricky.