Well, you know us Europeans - we're all barking mad

Here are a couple of quick tips for dealing with female significant others that I have discovered to work quite well.

1) If you live in the U.S. and you get cable, Saturday mornings can be a great time to get some time alone with CIII. Basically, my wife loves to watch the fashion shows, and I let her have her fun. The major ones are CNN - "Style, with Elsa Klensch" and E! Entertainment Network - "Fashion Files". My wife loves to watch fashion, and so couldn't care what I'm doing. She really would rather that I didn't watch with her anyway, due to the numerous models walking down runways in sheer blouses/dresses, etc.

2) This option takes a little more financially, but can be even more effective. Basically, let her go shopping. My wife knows that I hate to shop, so really doesn't want me to go with her. (I'll whine and complain after about 30 minutes. I'll even start setting time limits when we walk into stores - not that she pays attention to them.) We also live only a few blocks away from Michigan Avenue, which is a major shopping venue in Chicago. (It's sort of like a cross between Madison Ave. and Fifth Ave. in New York.)

She is gone for hours on end, but one pays a large cost for this time. If you can stand the financial pain, there are some secondary benefits to her spending. When the comment "I can't believe how much you spent on that game!" arises - just point to the credit card bills and note that your addiction is far less costly than hers. Works every time - she's not happy, but she's smart and knows that the shopping time is worth more to her.

[This message has been edited by Montys Monkey (edited 11-04-98).]

I have some tips of my own that have worked for me. The problem is, it's like plate-spinning. No one solution works forever, you have to keep inventing new ones.

1) You're right, those TV shows can really have a good effect. Some other ones that are really effective are any Oprah show, Party of 5, 90210, The Real World, Ally McBeal. This Sunday was a Real World Marathon on MTV, and she watched like the whole season from 10 in the morning until dinner. Of course, I played Caesar III, and I had a few comments fly my way at about 4:00. I couldn't win. I went to sit with her to watch and make her happy, but I couldn't follow it. This show was a bunch of college age kids sitting around whining and complaining for hours.

Cable is also a must, since in my house, I get two Oprah's per day, one at 6 and one at 7. I also get a channel called Home and Garden TV (HGTV) that has Martha Stewart-type house decorating shows. Her favorite shows in the world are on while we're at work, these wedding shows on the Learning Channel (we're getting married next May), and she loves these shows. I should set the VCR up to tape them, make a long (like 8 hour tape), then surprise her with it. That would work wonders. But TV show has to be really enthralling for her or else she'll notice I'm not there with her and come upstairs.

2) Got her into Monopoly, Scrabble and Curse of Monkey Island (which she loved), then she played Kings Quest VII too. It cost me money and some time in front of the screen (SHE was much worse than I was, could go for hours,) but I knew those games had a finite ending (unlike the ones I play) and eventually I got my keyboard and mouse back, and I had about 6-8 months worth of moral high ground to lay on her if she opened her mouth again. She kept pretty quiet. But now that's worn off, and I'm back where I was.

3) The laptop - all she really wants is for me to sit on the couch next to her like a vegetable while she watches her stupid Party of 5 and The Real World TV shows, so I plug my laptop into the wall, sit there on the couch, and Caesar away. She can't say I'm not spending time with her. This is pretty new. I think she'll figure it out not far from now. Other drawback, can't play DirectX games on the portable.

3) When she's sleeping. She goes to bed pretty early on weekends, like about 10:00 - 10:30. I can stay up as late as I want (computer's in another room), but this eventually takes its toll on me. Also, it's like playing chicken. I can push it to where I'm up to 1:00- 2:00, and she'll never really know what time I came to bed, but if she should wake up in the middle of the night, she'll come in there and I'll hear about it for weeks on end.

4) When she's in shower/drying her hair, basically she's preoccupied, good for about an hour at a time; you can stretch it. That's why I always make sure I'm in the shower first.

5) Nights out with friends/her mother. Usually she'll schedule one night out during the week. Occasionally I'll score a big one and she'll spend a Saturday or Sunday with her friends, then I'm in the clear the whole day.

6) While she's at work: I can get some good time in here, but I have to take a sick day or a vacation day. I learned not to tell her when I had scheduled a vacation day, or she would think up a whole agenda of things for me to do that day, so I usually let her know the morning of when I don't get out of bed. Those days are best, I can get a lot of contiguous time in there.

7) Shopping is a hard one to crack. You're right, it can get pretty expensive. Do you give her money or does she spend her own? One time I got a Macy's Gift Certificate as a bonus at work. It was only $25, and I didn't need anything, so I gave it to her. She took it and spent the whole day there.

8) Don't shop for or buy your games in her presence. Don't even show them to her, or tel her you got them. Buy them at work, at lunch, if you can, or mail order them. Throw out the box and jewel case as soon as you can, just keep the CD and the manual. Trust me, she'll find out you have it anyway once you're playing it, but don't advertise, that's just going to make her blood boil when she sees it or knows you're looking to buy it. Price/Costco, if you have one near you, is a good place, they sell a lot of other stuff, so you can have a reason for going there. Best Buy is 2nd bet. Asking to go to CompUSA is asking for trouble.

Great post, there are a lot of really good ideas in there. Here are some responses regarding which methods of yours work for me, as well as a few other things that seem to work well.

1) Party of 5 definitely works for me, as does ER. Shows like 90210, Melrose Place, Oprah, and The Real World either never held any sway with my wife, or she long ago lost interest in them. Another problem for me on the evening TV front is that my wife loves to watch Frazier and Mad About You re-runs before going to sleep. For some reason, as with your situation, it is required for me to be there, even if I don't do anything. (I should mention that I do enjoy watching Frazier too, as long as it's not a re-run that I've already seen 16 times.)

I generally don't tape shows, but she does have a step-aerobics tape that she loves. She can huff and puff for about an hour before stopping. This is a great thing, to quote Martha Stewart, she stays in shape and leaves me alone for about an hour plus shower time. Furthermore, being female, she's always worried about weight - so this one could work reliably for a long time.

2) My wife has never been into computer games, so, for me, that option has about as much chance of happening as a snowstorm in hades. The only game she even acknowledges is Civilization II. She'll joke about the elephant's trumpeting like their taunting her for being out of shape. (See aerobics comment above.)

3) I don't have a laptop, but I do have a private office at work with a great computer. I only live a few blocks from work, so if I have to do a little work on the weekend I'll go in and boot up a saved game. This option is great because I get credit for working hard on top of it all.

4) Our computer is in the bedroom (1 bedroom apartment) so the "when she's sleeping" strategy won't work.

5) Showers/hair drying works well for me too. Especially when combined with the step-aerobics tape mentioned above.

6) We have no relatives anywhere in the mid-west (mostly east coast), and we have predominantly mutual friends. (Business associates, school friends, etc.) That's another advantage that you have on me.

7) Here's my big advantage over your situation: My wife is a management consultant, she advises companies on corporate strategy and such. This is fantastic, as it often means that she's out of town for multiple days. (By the way, all kidding aside, it's fantastic for playing CIII, but sometimes can get to be a drag on our relationship.) She's in Canada as I write, so I've got until Friday alone. This trick is obviously not something that can be easily replicated, it's just a situational benefit for me.

8) Shopping isn't so hard for me. As noted above, she has a pretty good career of her own going. Actually, it's better than mine right now. So, she spends her own money, or at least she doesn't need to worry about spending our money.

9) About buying games in her presence - you're right. I never let her know. Fortunately, I have now reached a critical mass point where she doesn't know what's old and what's new. (See the above mentioned point on "my wife hates computer games".) Sometimes I'll cycle a few old games out to my brother or parents just to keep the numbers in check. I will almost always buy things with cash - she never even knows that the transaction occurred. Because she doesn't know the old games from the new, I can even read new manuals right in front of her and explain that I am just brushing up on an old game.

I hope that I gave you some interesting new ideas. Remember, most opportunities are situational, just like in CIII. Keep on your toes and there will always be a way.

[This message has been edited by Montys Monkey (edited 11-04-98).]

Hey, I love this "ditch the wives" thread! Great ideas all! Montys: I'll be moving to the Grand Ohio apartment complex in May (right on Michigan), I'll have to use that shopping one. I'm getting married in May too. What time are those Learning Channel wedding shows on?

--Cherub Draco

You'll be right down the street from me Draco. (I live in the 420 East Ohio building) BTW, I noticed from your profile that you live and/or work in Downers Grove. You aren't going to reverse commute, are you?

(My wife does the downtown to Rosemont commute when she's in town - and frankly, she's none too happy about it.)

What would you suggest for a single father of a five year-old son? Tough one, eh?

Gentlemen, thank you! I knew this forum - actually the entire site - was fantastic for finding game strategies and new CIII ideas. What a wonderful to surprise to learn how guys try and find "their own time". This topic is almost as helpful as Draco's FAQ's!
Never had a reason to post before(I look hard enough I know I'll find my answers), but this deserves a huge THANK YOU!
(Of course I hear complaints because my idea of a good shopping center is Compusa )

-Stefanie

Stefanie, LOVE YOU let's go shopping!

No, I won't be reverse commuting. I'll be getting married this May 29, and we're going to move to the Loop then. Right now, she works in the Loop, and I go to law school at DePaul's Loop Campus (Jackson & State). I'll probably hook-up with a Loop firm.

Stefanie: I can't even pay my fiance to drive past CompUSA! Thanks for reading the FAQ's!

Cherub "Pro Consul" Draco

"All Roads Lead To CIII Heaven."

Hehe. Nice suggestions overall. I, however, have a wife and a daughter who is 15 months old. Shopping and early mornings are out of the question Yet there are some things I can do.

First, I play overnight. Tough for me but works fine from 11pm through 5 am on weekends

Secondly, my little girl likes to watch those moving people and stuff. So I can often sit her on my lap and play C3 There is one problem with that approach-she wants to participate in the action and always tries to reach the keyboard Hehe-does not last long. If I let her down she always grabs my right hand-which moves the mouse. That sure draws my attention

So, I am pretty much stuck to night play. Yet my wife tolerates it big time-she is an angel All I need to do is to spend time with the family often and her disfavor to the games decreases. Similar to pleasing Caesar Just don't give "tribute" too often cause "the Caesar" will get used to it and will expect more and frequent

Cherub Sphinx

My wife complained when I brought home the new game.
Here's the answer, I got my wife hooked on Caesar III.
Now, I've created another problem, I have to schedule my time between her game.
And another thing, she said I was talking in my sleep last night.
What did I say ? "Yeah, Promotion !"

I am the only female playing this game?? gee I am glad I am not one of those stupid wivies.... and men don't like fashions???
too bad I don't have a husband to play a game with me hehehehehe.
I am a student in architech....and building is my hobby?! so I got stucked in the game. Anyway don't sweep the ladies away and if you're willing they may find interesting building a city with you ^_^

I guess I am just really lucky, except for the random "can have have a hug dear?" or the occassional "Dad, will you watch tv with me?", My biggest problem with playing C3 is learning when to go to bed at night. I can normally play from 4-8 hours a night if I want to, but lately I don't start playing until about 9 at night, so I am adjusting to 4-6 hours of sleep (all those, 'okay, just a couple more minutes' really add up)

anyway, my girlfriend and my daughter are into computers almost as much as I am, so I put together a 2nd system for them to use (nothing fancy, they have simple tastes in games) between the tv, the computer, and reading books, etc. I never have to deal with the jealousy thing. (of course, It never hurts to actually plan things together too, which we do frequently)

Hey Crafter, my girlfriend also watches that wretched HGTV channel all the time

If any of you haven't visited it, there is an entire forum devoted to this for Age of Empires called Agers Anonymous. I'm sure Angel Poison Ivy wouldn't mind a few C3 junkies hanging out there as well.

http://age.gamestats.com/aaa/

If you have been there, you know that long hours of playing AOE and C3 have supposedly helped keep my relationship with my girlfriend going for a long time now. Do we sit down and play them together? No, not at all. We go to school 5 hours apart, so she likes it that I play games all day and night, since I'm not out cruising for women

Actually, she an awesome girlfriend, even though she laughed her head off when I told her I was an Angel She did, however, buy me AOE and the Rise of Rome, making C3 the first game I've bought since probably Riven or Diablo.

Washizu

[This message has been edited by Angel Washizu (edited 11-05-98).]

EyeClaudius, judging by another post of yours talking about your 16 meg video card . . . I would say you went shopping without me!

Gee I don't really likes AOE cause I wonder not much females are interested in war games...C3 doesn't have so much bloody sense ^_^ and I enjoy building a nice city then when I go to school I left my city in my hands of my dear brother, and I guess he is somehow smarter and everytime I back I see him making my city blooming....and I guess I am glad to have my little bother as a company building up a neat and good looking streets.

Monty's Monkey:

If your wife is a management consultant (I'm going to be one again soon myself, just 4 more months of MBA school), have you tried the angle of explaining the economics and operations management attractions of Caesar? If she's a strategy consultant, she should certainly be able to appreciate the market economic dynamics of the game, the element of trade, resource balancing, distribution channels, wage levels, supply and demand, etc. Have you tried this with her? I only suggest this because of what she does, it may help you out a lot if she understands what's going on in the game, and why you play it. I f you find some way to enlist her help with a a management issue that's she's studied on, she may get hooked.

I was showing my fiancee last night, who is a manager in an IT department, and she understood and was interested in what was going on. I explained to her that every moving thing in the city was DOING something toward achieving the city's goals. I explained it was kind of like an electronic ant farm, or a doll house. As luck would have it, an enemy invaded right at that time, and she watched them pummell through a couple of the structures. She started to get worried for the little citizens, and then I unleashed my two war forces - javelins and legionnaires, and she was very relieved as they overwhelmed and repelled the invaders. I think this will help me a little in the coming weekend.

Now can somebody tell me, why do these smart, accomplished, esteemed career women watch Party of Five so damn much?

Monty's Monkey:

If your wife is a management consultant (I'm going to be one again soon myself, just 4 more months of MBA school), have you tried the angle of explaining the economics and operations management attractions of Caesar? If she's a strategy consultant, she should certainly be able to appreciate the market economic dynamics of the game, the element of trade, resource balancing, distribution channels, wage levels, supply and demand, etc. Have you tried this with her? I only suggest this because of what she does, it may help you out a lot if she understands what's going on in the game, and why you play it. I f you find some way to enlist her help with a a management issue that's she's studied on, she may get hooked.

I was showing my fiancee last night, who is a manager in an IT department, and she understood and was interested in what was going on. I explained to her that every moving thing in the city was DOING something toward achieving the city's goals. I explained it was kind of like an electronic ant farm, or a doll house. As luck would have it, an enemy invaded right at that time, and she watched them pummell through a couple of the structures. She started to get worried for the little citizens, and then I unleashed my two war forces - javelins and legionnaires, and she was very relieved as they overwhelmed and repelled the invaders. I think this will help me a little in the coming weekend.

Now can somebody tell me, why do these smart, accomplished, esteemed career women watch Party of Five so damn much?

Greetings, Very interesting post that will run and run.......

My problem is my wife (an esteemed career woman, IT Testing Consultant) does not watch TV, but has the habit of hogging the PC. In particular Caesar III! After a long days work all I wish is a couple of hours relaxation expanding the empire. But no, my wife is there first swearing at those damn elephants (how dare they trample over her Carthage!)To get my allocated time (fat chance) I have to do chores, ironing etc, even then comes the response "but I just want to..." By this time it is midnight and I have the choice of sticking it out or sleep.

Note: When sticking it out I still get nagged for coming to bed late.

Classic Example: last weekend "she" continued playing well into the early hours (3-4am). Further proof of total addiction and a powerful bargaining chip on my part: whilst running a bath she was distracted by devolution of houses - result overflowing bath, dripping kitchen ceiling and a new bathroom carpet required - consolation she got villas!

Any suggestions please, as shopping and TV don't work. And quick as the Oracle forsees more trouble ahead with Simcity 3000.

Yours desperately,

Hadrian

Crafter and Draco:

First, Crafter, good luck with the management consulting. My wife loves it, I did it for a year and hated it - now I'm back doing what I really love - I banking.

Second, please, stop trying to give me tips on how to get my wife involved in CIII!! I know everyone is just trying to help - but you don't understand. You could give me ideas until you were blue in the face (or red in the fingertips, as it were) and it wouldn't do any good.

It's not that I don't appreciate the ideas, but in my case, it just doesn't matter. You can think of every similarity there is between her and CIII, AND IT'S NEVER GOING TO WORK. She just completely dislikes computer games. I don't know why, it just is. The only good point is that after two years of marriage I have trained her to accept my habit. (and she has trained me in so many other countless ways - watch out Draco and Crafter - it will happen to you too.)

(BTW - while being serious in stating that my wife will never like computer games, I'm really just having fun with this and trying to point out the futility of my situation.)

Third, speaking of marriage, good luck to both of you. Most especially Crafter - we got married in New Jersey - I know how expensive weddings can be anywhere around New York.

[This message has been edited by Montys Monkey (edited 11-06-98).]

Hey Stefanie,
Okay, so I went to CompuUSA w/out ya. That's not to say that that's the only shopping I'll ever do in my life. Yeah, I'm a man, but I was born to shop...and since I shop mainly for computer stuff, which seems to be the only thing that men can shop for "safely" (besides auto parts) I win on all counts. Best of all, a new CompUSA is opening up less than a minute from my house in time for Christmas!!! No more 50 mile trips!

I beg to differ... My significant-other and I installed hte game on our laptops. Now, we play the game side by side and exchange tips at the same time. At the moment, I'm more successful than he is
Yeah...we have no life

I beg to differ... My significant-other and I installed the game on our laptops. Now, we play the game side by side and exchange tips at the same time. At the moment, I'm more successful than he is
Yeah...we have no life

Argh!! It's so irritating when your message gets posted twice