Maybe because all old white men with somewhat neat beards look like they know how to do their job ?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V3amg0l9T3Y&list=PLZkgRb7k6prr8Asi_I89IFmcoDN8N_TC4&index=5

DAS LIED DIE DEUTSCHEN VOLKES CREEPY BENIOS

Over the weekend I watched Princess Jellyfish. It's really nice. Very progressive, and has great female characterisation. The only male leads are a politician who has never kissed a girl, and his younger brother who likes to dress as a woman.

The omurice preparation is great. I love this show.

Demon meat, elf water... but normal rice and veggies from Japan.

"They use some magic called 'selective breeding.'" And drunken meet-cute! OH MY NAUGHTY

EDIT: Oh damn. The single-mom vibes after the finale intro. That hits a nerve.

[This message has been edited by Uchuu Senkan Yamoffo (edited 07-05-2019 @ 06:59 PM).]

Which show?

Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid. If you've not seen it, it's ecchi slice of life romcom. Sometimes the ecchi doesn't translate well, and that seems to be a major source of contention against an otherwise beloved show.

Also, the director was one of the fatalities of the KyoAni fire.

[This message has been edited by Uchuu Senkan Yamoffo (edited 08-01-2019 @ 08:01 AM).]

The Kyoto fire has been on the news for weeks here. A real tragedy. Regular people were stunned by the actions of this seemingly crazy loner, and anime fans are of course shocked to hear how the creators of some of their most cherished works are suddenly gone.

I think a lot of people feel that industries like anime, which have such huge output, are just magical. It's important to realise that it only exists because of people's work

The best timeline.

What have folks watched recently? I picked up JoJo and blitzed the first two arcs. Now I'm Stardust Crusading, slowly.

I'm just keeping up with a few shows right now, namely Dr. Stone, Fire Force and Kimetsu no Yaiba.

On the manga front I went through Boarding School Juliet, since it ended recently. It was hit-or-miss for the most part but I managed to burn through the whole ~120 chapters thanks to the occasional well-timed joke. It got mildly interesting around the middle point but never went beyond that point afterwards.

I'm reading the Kaguya-sama manga. There are some moments that make me feel joy, like a shoujo series. Last thing I read before that was six volumes of Noragami.

'Ello, wot's all dis then?

I'm not a big fan of the "story is actually a fantasy video game" thing (yes... the irony is clear... and it's not mere iron, but glorious steel <_<). But this looks funny enough.

Hm, remind me of that in about 10 years once I have time to binge watch something

Is nice, but...

Little known fact: Dutch music can also function as anime opening theme songs.

Moff, isn't that Demon Slayer? I have heard people like it but not gotten around to watching yet. Thesis writing...

Did Moff post anything Demon Slayer related? Don't see it.

---

Anyways, manga review/recommendation!

Dungeon Meshi is a fun take on the whole "videogame logic fantasy" trend... by having pretty much none of that and going for an actual fantasy series with some dungeon crawler inspiration.

The story follows a party of adventurers who, when fighting a dragon inside a dungeon lose one of their members as she gets eaten by the monster. After getting teleported back to the surface Laios, their leader and brother of the lost member immediately decides to take the party back down to try and rescue her before its too late. But they are broke and can't afford the food needed to go back all the way to where they found the dragon. So, what can they do? Well, duh! Eat the monsters!

The manga is a comedy in broad strokes that plays off of its characters and is not afraid to pace its gag with a steady serious plot that develops in the background over time. Everyone in the party has its quirks. Laios is somewhat naive and all too eager to examine the monsters up close and give them a taste. The elf mage is self-absorbed though lacking in confidence and is squeamish to the idea of eating dungeon creatures. The dwarf that joins them as their guide to dungeon gastronomy and cook is basically the enabler of Laios' ideas as he is also overly interested in how to cook monsters. Finally, their halfling rouge/thief/trapmaster is their straight man who would rather not be doing all this stupid, dangerous shit. The characters, despite their comedic flaws, are not exaggerated for the sake of laughs and instead are well-rounded and compelling. The jokes come from their reactions to the situations they find themselves in through their journey just as much as from the conversations they have with each other.

The fantasy setting of Dungeon Meshi is as vanilla as it gets though thanks to the copious amounts of straight up RPG-like worlds (with skills, stats, quests/guilds, etc.) in Japanese fantasy works nowadays, it actually feels fresh. But it doesn't just play western fantasy a la D&D as it comes with well-thought ideas on how the different elements of its world work as a whole. The monsters have a biology and logical patterns of behavior and dungeons have an internal logic akin to that of an internal ecology. People that die in the dungeon have justification for being revivable. While the story develops inside the dungeon, the politics of the outside world have an impact on it too as dungeons are valuable in-universe to the different races for the resources that they contain. The characters follow typical RPG classes and the fantasy races are completely stereotypical but is all taken into consideration into their profiles too and worked into the inner logic of their universe.

Now, I don't play D&D, but given what I know of the game, I'd guess it's fair to describe it as a what would happen if the DM decided that the party had to manage their hunger during their game run. There is a lot of heart put into the elements of the world that are most obviously taken from its RPG inspirations and it never feels tacked on. And, even though at many times the members of the party butt heads they all care for one another, there is true sense of camaraderie between them.

Dungeon Meshi is a blast to read and even with monthly-sized chapters, you may end up binging the whole thing really fast. It is a joy to read and the art is great.

Finally, let me drop some pages here to try and convince you even further.

Catching dinner
Look at that FOOD
No context

Needless to say, I really like this manga and I give my full recommendation for anyone into the fantasy genre.

Yeah, I read Dungeon Meshi as well and I can say it's fine. Kinda slow paced and the drawing style isn't exactly my cup of tea, but it's still interesting enough that I haven't dropped it in the time I've been reading it

https://sfdebris.com/videos/anime/planetes1.php

Planetes is Space Garbage Men... IN SPACE? :O

EDIT: I'm sold. This will be my next series if I can find it. Of course, I have to find the sub so it's in proper battleshipspeak. <_<

[This message has been edited by Uchuu Senkan Yamoffo (edited 10-16-2019 @ 04:45 PM).]

How have you not found Planetes yet?

Happy Halloween! This isn't abridged, just crack.

Episode 12: Enemy Planes Dive-Bombing From Above!

Where were we? Oh yes, the Battle of Midway!

0:00 – We open with an action shot of a windblown Kaga calling to Akagi, “Directly above!” Two fighters and a dive bomber, which drops its payload. Splashes and squeals all over. We quickly see that Kaga is hit, with obligatory clothing damage and scuff marks. She’s holding her arm like it’s broken. You can really hear Yuka Iguchi here; definitely could put that in Mako’s mouth.


0:15 – More splosions and scuffed carrier girls. Akagi asks why. Hiei is apparently there, blasting away. And then, Yuudachi again calls, “Akagi-senpai! Directly above!” Three dark spots in the sky; dive bombers. “Maybe you can’t beat it…” is Akagi’s submission to fate. “Maybe you can’t beat fate.”


0:36 – BUT THEN! A shell streaks in from the right and goes kaboom in the middle of the bombers! AKAGI IS SAVED!

Wait, didn’t the bombs cut loose and were about to hit her at the end of the last episode? (-2)

Don’t you pull that Flash Gordon cliffhanger bullshit here. AKAGI MUST BE PUNISHED.


0:41 – Dramatic battle music begins as we pan across Fubuki, new AA guns pointed at the sky and her Ganbarimasu! Face in full effect. She swings out and asks Senpai if she’s okay; Akagi basically responds with WTF, and Bucky says they can chit-chat later, now it’s time to get the hell out of Dodge. Meanwhile, Akagi stands blank-faced and unmoving in the background. Also, Bucky’s facial expression doesn’t change… not even a blink or an eye movement beyond a small shift of her head. (-1)


Then Kaga throws her bow to Akagi.


1:07 – “I swear on the pride of the First Carrier Division! All operational planes, taking off!” Seriously, you stuntcast the almighty Saki Fujita… at least give her something to work with FFS. (-1)

So she pops off some planes and Foob tells Kaga and Hiei to bail out. Kaga refuses, saying she’s fine and Hiei refuses because apparently I’ll yell at her desu! HIDOI, HIEI-SAN! Mouuuu…

Plus, Hiei doesn’t even look damaged. Her sleeves are a little smudged, but she’s not even bruised or has any tears in her outfit. Get your lazy ass back into the fi—oohh I guess she was right.


1:21 - …And then my animu self agrees. “Well said!” And a wild Bongou Dess appears! Huzzah! Now we just need Atago, Shimakaze, and Sendai for it to be a proper HG party. Also, they at least had enough money to make sure Kongou’s hair fluttered in the breeze. Priorities. (+1)


1:34 – Kongou shouts, “Follow me!” And we see she’s talking to the rest of her fleet… including UCHUU SENKAN
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Also, Flight Deck Chest and Unfortunate Crane are there, along with Kureizi Saiko Resubian and the other two Kongou-class imoutos.


1:50 – But wait, weren’t Shokaku and Zuikaku under repair? But think back to the beginning! “For some reason, we got these instant repair buckets out of nowhere!”

Are you f**king kidding me? I get it’s a game joke, but… holy shit, are you kidding me? (-5)

And while we do see Yamato launched in the previous episode (and it was glorious and awarded points for that), Fubuki is surprised. Yammy says she’ll “explain later.” Uh. Right, maybe back to the battle. I know Talking Is a Free Action, but weren’t you all under withering dive bomber assault literally two minutes ago?


2:02 – Oh, wait. We need dramatic proclamations now. “Operation MI, primary attack force flagship Yamato, heading forth!” Glad we had the tonal whiplash for… I guess you didn’t really attack so it’s not calling an attack.

Ah, we do actually resume the dramatic as the camera surges ahead through misty seas back to Airfield Hime, who jiggles herself and summons white fighter plane balls. Some have cat ears! But then they asplode as they charge the boatgirls.


2:17 – Now Zuikaku and Shoukaku try to be dramatic. Yes, it’s the finale and everyone gets to their attack lines but… goddamn, they had some character and personality. They’ve regressed back to just being their in-game caricatures. And that’s disappointing to me. (-1)

Also, “Fifth Carrier Division, Shoukaku!” sounds like “Go-kosen, Show Cock!” You’re not Lebe-chan! Or… would that be Lebe-kun?

Anyway, they’re alpha-striking. And then, sigh, back to Akagi. Who needs to internally monologue about Fubuki before she fires her arrow. Also, she looks weird in this shot. (-1)


2:38 – WOW that’s bordering on Flash animation. While Akagi continues to ruminate about how Fubuki has changed and wondering “who is this girl,” Fubuki just kinda… drifts across the screen in mid closeup. Her hair is moving, but literally nothing else is, her turret looks like a rough sketch… It’s bloody jarring. (-4)


2:48 – Thank God, enough naval navel gazing as we rejoin Yamato. “It’s finally time.” EXECUTE ORDER 66! No, wait… anyway, Uchuu Senkan lets fly with her Type 3 AA incendiaries on Hime… uh… -hime. Blammo, shaboomz, “We got her!” from Buki, while Yamato gives a stern, “Not yet.”


3:18 – And hime SPEAKS! “Sink… again and again!” And credits!

So, why are Japanese animation companies so bad at budget management? Yes, I get we need to spend extra money on the beach episodes, but… save some for the end! Stick the low-budget stuff in the middle where it can be forgotten, not in the epic final battle!


4:54 – And we return to your regularly scheduled pitched naval battle with a division of Abyssal destroyer shark-things blasting away. Yuudachi says they seem mad.

Now, here, the animation looks markedly better than in the pre-title sequence. Yuudachi, for example, has a face, unlike Souryuu in the earlier pic here. Akagi has eyes, Yamato has facial features… as opposed to weird early-Disney sideways musical notes like we saw with Akagi in the aforementioned pic or with Mutsu in the previous episode. Shit’s happening behind them… but you gotta do that through the whole episode, mates. I get you saved money for this part, but these are the same episode. Three minutes apart! That makes it more obvious!

Anyway, Akagi rattles off a battle plan. Carriers to deal with planes (duh?), surface combatants to would you kindly kick the ever-loving shit out of hime-sama?


5:15 – Oooh, the good techno beat battle music. All right, maybe things are looking up! Haruna gives her catchphrase and blasts some fools. Her and Hiei pop a few destroyers, but Kirishima laughs with her back to the enemy. “I can’t let them have all the fun.”

Being the wonderful onee-sama that I am, I shout a warning about the GODDAMN FLEET GOING UP HER BUTT… but she’s “aware.” And then… glasses girl takes off her glasses.

All three Abyssal destroyers take direct hits and explode. ‘Dun gud, Kiri-chan. Dun right gud. (+1)


5:49 - Meanwhile, Kitakami is having a rough time. Constant shelling precludes her from making a torpedo attack, and when you’re a light cruiser that had most of your guns removed to give you an unholy torpedo armament… that’s a bad thing.

And then a big ol’ Abyssal surges out of the water behind her, kinda like happened to Fubuki on her first combat mission when Kongou had to save her sorry ass. “No way… Oicchi… OICCHIIIIII!”

6:09 – I’ve never seen a cruiser go airborne. Submarines, yes. Destroyers and frigates, yes. But not a cruiser. (+3)


6:10 – And Kitakami’s reaction is just… “Eh?” The Ooi snarls, “What the hell are you doing to my Kitakami-san?!” and picks up the Abyssal she just took a flying kick to… and blasts it with her guns in midair. (+5)

Then Ooi freaks out because she got some blue Abyssal blood on her. “I got some creepy stuff on me! There’s creepy stuff on meee!” Kitakami screams her name and rushes over to hug her… sister? Partner? Cousin? I… I don’t know. “Were you scared?”
“Uh-huh.”

SPARKLE AND HAPPY MUSIC AT THE ADMISSION OF FEAR! (+1)

“How cute! How loveable! No, those words aren’t nearly enough! What could I compare this beauty to? Like a young leaf budding in the spring… I know! It’s moe! I’ll call this cuteness moe!”

“Oicchi?”
“Yes, what is it?”


6:58 – Kitakami points. “The enemy.” Ah, so talking isn’t a free action when having yuri overdrive. And that oh-shit face as Ooi realizes they are physically surrounded by an entire goddamned squadron. That said, the above sequence was beautifully animated and intensely amusing. (+5)

“But it’s okay, there’s nothing to be afraid of.” THERE IS A LOT TO BE AFRAID OF, KITAKAMI

“When I’m with you, Oichhi, I’m Super Kitakami-sama!” Well, aren’t we the humble little boat.


7:12 – And then they join hands. But wait, there is a plan besides dying in the throes of Sapphic bliss! “Together, we have forty torpedo tubes per side!” Sweet Jesus…

So they spin around while rippling off torpedoes in all directions… and blast the Abyssals. It’s dumb, it’s cute, it’s silly. And I love it. (+1)


7:27 – And cut to Tone and her sister Chikuma (who I honestly did have to look up) watching the destruction. But they have to stop watching because the enemy carrier force is almost there, so Chikuma takes off and Tone follows declaring she won’t lose to her little sister yet.

Looks like Foob and Hiryuu are engaged already, with Bucky ordering the destruction of the carrier’s escorts (it’s not One-Eyed Wo yet; just a normal Wo). Down goes a destroyer to an airstrike, Poipoi blows up another with her guns. Then Kongou and Hiei are called in, with an obligatory, “BAANINGU RAABUU!” They nail the Wo, staggering her. Tone fires the killing blow.

8:05 – Now we’re with Airfield Hime. She grunts in pain or exertion, then sounds like she’s vomiting as she throws another swarm of catball fighters into the air. Watching this is the disabled Kaga, learning on Akagi’s arm. They grimace at the sight, and then Kaga mournfully mentions the two arrows Akagi has left in her quiver.

8:19 – But then Flight Deck Chest and Show Cock show up. Zui of course takes the opportunity for a cheapshot. “I figured there’d be a carry or two who would screw up, so I brought this!” And she throws another bow to Akagi and Kaga. Looks like Kaga catches it, though from the freeze frame at this point, it’s a bit ambiguous. It sparkles visually and audibly, confirming that the equipment is goddamned magic. (-2)

You’re damn right I’m taking points off for this. It’s my review, you don’t like it, do your own twelve episodes of KanColle.


8:28 – And cut to a chibi holding a power drill and a hammer. Did it… did it repair Kaga? Anyway, back to the boats after Kaga gasps from the chibi’s power, and Shokaku is handing over a bunch of arrows. These are the faces of First Carrier Division.


Kaga: I’m a bit angry now
Akagi: Yes…

Pride cometh before a fall. (+2)

So, they string their bows… and I guess that means Kaga’s arm isn’t broken? Or the fairy healed her? Or whatever, all right, points off for shit just happening and maybe it makes sense for the game mechanic but shit off. (-1)

Their planes drop bombs on Hime, who moans in pain as they damage her runways. Kirishima notes, “We have air superiority!”

Yamato moves in the kill. And we see those big turrets swing around… unnnf. And BOOM. Some dying words, and Hime falls amid roaring flames. “We did it! We beat her!”

Everyone is happy! We won! The dream is dispelle—


9:48 – An explosion off Yamato’s starboard bow—and I don’t think it’s Klingons! Nope, a new Abyssal carrier fleet that lands a few shots on Yamato. We once again go back to low-budget mode… (-1)

Anyway, they beat the base. Surely they can fall back and regroup, but Yamato says no. “Can’t you feel it? There’s still some strong power at work.”

Yeah, I’ll echo Akagi here. What strong power? Dammit, be cute boats doing WW2 things, or be edgy magical war. But this trying to play both really detracts from both. On the other hand, since the first thing Yamato ascribes to this cruel hand interfering with them is her tardiness, maybe she’s just looking for excuses. <_<

But no, there’s some mystical force at work here, summoning new carrier fleets once they beat the old one and take out the base, fiddling with their formations. Of course, those repair buckets out of nowhere, the extra bow, the extra arrows… that’s all fine, right, Yammy? It’s just when it’s against you that it’s a problem.

Ooof, and now we hit that old sticking point. Not only is that mystical force in play, it’s “making events of the past happen again.” This is a post-WW2 setting. It happened. These girls are the reincarnations of the ships, not their substitutes.

“If we retreat, I feel like it will become stronger.” Wasn’t Nagato saying, though, that her feelings were actually being directed by this force into irresistible notions and urges? That it was forcing them here? So… does Fate or Destiny or whatever warp your feelings toward its ends? And if that’s so, then is Yamato actually leading them to their doom in a final blaze of glory on the high seas like she was meant to do for her final mission?

“We must destroy whatever it is that binds us here!”

You can’t kill the thirst of military weebs.

Akagi agrees… and then there is an absolutely unholy cry from off screen. Airfield Hime… isn’t quite dead. That was merely her first form. She rises up, now sporting gun turrets and a more armored appearance; fresh Abyssal destroyers lurch from the depths as the girls see everything they did undone.

It’s sorta like grad school!

11:18 – “This is… that power.” What, American industry? >_>

Yamato is distraught. “No matter what we do, we can’t escape this?”

But Bucky says no!


Told you.


11:30 – “We can’t give into it!” Cut to Mutsuki picking flowers on a clear, calm day at the base. “Everyone is waiting for us, believing we’ll win!” Well, Foob, that’s what happens when the state propaganda service lies through its teeth. And, of course, when the government lies to the state-run media… and itself!

Some blathering about the how the commander said you gotta start from nothing, Mutsuki looks over her shoulder and is surprised. But yes, we have to fight against it and not let anything hold us back. “That will change everything.”

That… is a common accusation thrown at Admiral Nagumo for both Pearl and Midway. He held back and was indecisive. Hence why people point to this episode in particular, and events coming, to raise points about apologism, revisionism, or outright pro-Axis nonsense.


11:52 – And then a deep, booming, familiar voice declares that it agrees with the Foob. Hi, Nagato! I guess everyone’s coming out to play for the big game! So much for those fleet caps and game mechanics now?

Also, a bunch of shells fly over, all of the girls look in surprise… except Yamato who is actually scowling. You jelly, Hoteru?


12:05 – Oh for the love of Mutsu, now we have more speechifying? I wanted WW2 warships being kawaii, not goddamned CSPAN meets Star Trek: Picard! (-1)


12:19 – And then the title card shows a ship we haven’t seen in the show yet… oh God, with one hell of a panty shot. Seriously, show? Those are f**king buttcheeks and a labial mound. Ugh… at least she’s not also a lolibote. (-5)

Oh, and that’s not entirely true. We have seen her. Just… not clearly. I wonder if that means anything.


12:21 – So, after having boatcrotch thrust in our faces, we rejoin the show in smoke, fire, and embers. Apparently, the audience has been moved to Hell.

Oh, nope, just Upgraded Air Field Hime… even though there’s no fire around when we zoom out and she howls up a bunch more fighters. (-1)

So now the fighters are zipping about, we see more Abyssal destroyers plowing ahead and firing their guns… Nagato orders evasive maneuvers. Poipoi-chan lets off her torpedoes and knocks out a bunch before switching to her guns, but she notes there’s still even more.

But then a wild Helperboat—err, Sendai appears! In fact, all three Sendai sisters came with Nagato to help out. As did everyone else, which we see as Mutsu blasts away at some destroyers. (+1)

Heroic music swells, and everyone goes into action. WW2 fighters are shooting down cat-ear skull sphere fighter/bomber things… Naka is on AA so we don’t have to hear her… Ikazuchi is apparently clutching a goddamned anchor like it’s a tomahawk (those are for Iowa-chan, silly!)…

Ah, yes, the AL Fleet has diverted to AF. Bucky asks dubya-tee-eff, and it turns out AL was a massive diversion (THIS SOUNDS FAMILIAR!) to draw Abyssal forces off and then they’d double back to reinforce the Foob Fleet (which is… not part of the historical plan).

14:00 – And Pan-Paka-Pan’s there too! Followed by OG Boku girl, Mogami.

14:11 – While characters ramble platitudes, we get to watch Nagato sailing about and just goddamned punching Abyssal cruisers into oblivion. And the part where she kicks an Abyssal battleship in the face, goes into a recoil-bracing squat, and then unloads her eight 41cm cannons into said battleship’s face… good girl, Musclebrain. (+3)

Your sister is still way cuter

14:23 – More B and C list boats do their thing, like Kuma and Tama raking destroyers with gunfire, Jintsuu and Sendai torpedoing Abyssals, planes doing dakka. Sadly, no Atago and Takao doing Big Body Bote things.


14:38 – And they have air superiority again… and Akagi has absolutely no shading or lighting effects on her face. Just flat color. Oof. (-1)

So Nagato has everyone—and I do mean everyone—open up on the Hime again. Really messes her up, too… but then she regenerates. The shell holes close up, the burn marks fade away to clean flesh or fabric. So, Nagato being Nagato, does what a Nagato do: SHOOT AGAIN! Oh and spoopy music plays. This time they get an arm, and the thing is panting in pain… but it regenerates again, even regrowing its blown-off arm.

And the yen drops for our little boaties. Some of the ships start having a freakout at the idea of an unkillable enemy that they can’t run away from…


15:42 - And then Foob, because MC gotta MC, spots a Wo. She realizes the Wo is the key, because the Commander said “destroy the carrier force AND Base MI.” You know, like the plan was at the real Midway. So Nagato tasks her, with Poipoi, NotBoi, Helper, Jintsuu, and DEAR GOD SHUT UP to kill the carrier. More bad CGI (Buki is weirdly pointy in the face) ensues. Torpedoes cut a path through the escorts, Mogami launches some planes (which she couldn’t do at the real Midway; catapult problems). Poipoi apparently has nuclear shells because she donks two in the middle of the formation and massive explosions happen.


16:44 – With the carrier dispatched, Nagato tells everyone to shoot Hime again. Smoke and fire and screaming… and the holes patch up. But Atago gets another line! She steals an “Ara, ara” from Mutsu, but to make up for it, the Big Snail gets a line too. Mostly shouting to the tune of, “I thought you said kill the carrier! WELL NOW WHAT!”

And Akagi gets all pensive and thoughtful like she’s in Dune again. I DON’T WANNA BE IN YOUR HEAD. This is just dragging it on… (-1)


16:58 – So more sea spray eruptions from shells or bombs, we discover that 5th Cardiv is out of arrows entirely. Nagato is staring at the gray sky filled with enemy planes, and spits, “Teitoku” like a curse.


17:07 – BUT THEN A FLARE SPLITS THE SKY AND TURNS INTO A SQUADRON OF PLANES! Real planes, not cat skull horror demon things! That makes this cavalry rescue number four, doesn’t it? (-3)

And new dramatic music as we see the newcomer, Crotch Boat! No, sorry, that’s mean (though definitely how that title card set her up). That’s actually His Imperial Japanese Majesty’s Carrier Taihou, who in reality was a floating fuel-air bomb after taking a single torpedo hit and never really did anything of note besides show up the IJN’s gross inadequacies in damage control. Instead of a bow, she gets a magazine-fed crossbow, which is cool. Also, she flat.


17:43 – Apparently, Nagato did not bring her, though we did see her before the launch sequence last episode. I probably called her Maho Nishizumi. And apparently the Admiral is now back at the naval district as Ooyodo breaks radio silence to announce this.

Aww, but Kongou gets all teary eyed and says, “He’s alive! Teitoku! Teitoku!” Anyway, Taihou has special orders from the admiral: destroy the carriers. Um, I thought we were doing that, Fart-chan. (-1)

….Should explain that. See, when the Taihou was attacked by a US submarine, it ruptured a gasoline tank. Unfortunately, because of the crew’s stunning inexperience, Japanese damage control doctrine (that is, YOU do damage control, and YOU… do something else. Only damage control people can do damage control, instead of every sailor being trained in the basics to hold off problems until the pros can arrive), and the fact that damage control was generally seen as a lesser assignment for less gifted personnel. So, gasoline is volatile, in the chemistry sense (and colloquial): it vaporizes easily. And so, the ship filled with gas fumes. And the crew, starting to get overcome by them and aware of the danger… started opening portholes and vents and doors and compartment hatches and anything else to get fresh air and let gasoline vapor out. It spread the gas fumes through the whole ship.

And then something sparked. One of the 500 survivors of her complement of 2150 would later note that he saw the flight deck heave up, and the sides of the ship blew out.

But, because of her concerns about “leaks” and “gas buildup,” she got the cutesy moniker of “Fart-chan” from the fans. AND NOW YOU KNOW!

Anyway, yes, kill the carriers. But we already killed the carriers…


18:25 – But then Fubuki, again, spots another Foobing carrier! And this time… it’s the One-Eyed Wo! DUN DUN DUN!

Don’t worry, we’re sure this is the last one. The dark dramatic music starts playing… Fubuki just knows there are three enemy carriers! So, would that make this one Yorktown since it’s already damaged from the engagement at the Coral Islands?

Guys, seriously, like… this shit reads like the Battle of Yavin in Darksaber. Now YOU get reinforcements, now YOU get reinforcements… back and forth. (-1)

Ah, but now I get to go with Bucky to blow up Wo. Yay, Kongou gets something to do!

OH JESUS CHRIST MORE STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS FROM AKAGI! We gotta make sure we get everything we can out of Fujita-san. I can’t wait until she’s back to just punching dudes for existing. (-1)


19:13 – Anyway, while rambling on in her about “can we do this,” Kaga and Akagi hold hands to grip a bow (… seems inefficient) and nock one last arrow.

And now Foob goes stream of consciousness while Kongou voices her thoughts with both her mouth and her guns. Which is why I am Kongou.

Ah, Nagato and Yamato help too. Good. Looks like both Naka and Sendai are wounded. Bucky goes toe-to-toe with the One-Eyed Wo, fires her torpedoes with a battle cry (and a seriously determined face (+1))… then we cut to Nagato, hear an explosion and see some flash reflection and Fubuki cries off screen, “ENEMY CARRIER SUNK!”

Well. (-3)

Anyway, once again, “all guns, prepare to fire!” And then they blast Midway Airfield—I MEAN AIRFIELD HIME—into dust. Obligatory, “Don’t estimate the power of the Big Seven.” Especially now that Nelnel and Colo-chan are playable! Catchphrase, yes, but appropriate here.

20:22 – And then Mutsu grabs her sister’s shoulders and climbs up her back. “I’m here, too.” Yes, Snail-chan, you are also a Biggu Sebin. So they fire again and blast an almost-dead Hime.

Ooh, that was kinda gooey.

Nagato starts to ask, “Did we get her” but Mutsu interrupts.


Genre-savvy Snail is Best Snail. *pat pat* (+1)


20:47 – Meanwhile, the water where the One-Eyed Wo went down is bubbling… and a ghostly voice is whispering, “Give it back, give it back.” Bucky spends a moment trying to figure out where it’s coming from, but a jubilant Yuudachi runs up declaring, “WE WON!” Heroic music, and… yep, Ms. Fujita earns her paycheck some more. “We changed things. We fought against fate, and changed something that was never supposed to change.” Messing with the state variables of reality never goes well, Akagi.

“Yeah!” Valuable contribution there, Bucky. Anyway, time to go home… with Kongou Bongou letting rip one last cry of “Uuu, TEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIITOOOOOOOOOOOKUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! :3”

21:20 - And we go back to the sea… presumably where the Wo went down. And a hairpin floats to the surface.

Look familiar?


21:29 – So we start playing the second verse of the ED. Mutsuki is watching the bay. Oh, and Mamiya is there too because YOU KNOW WHO THAT IS. The fleet fades in on the horizon—I MEAN COMES OUT OF THE MIST AND ITS DRAMATIC—while the credits start to roll. After they get their gear off, Fubuki runs to Mutsuki and they embrace warmly like good friends. Yuudachi gives pouty face and then jumps in.

22:08 – A limping Kaga and Akagi are walking along the pier and come across Zuikaku and Shoukaku. Kaga returns the loaned bow… with an origami bunny on the string. Zuikaku blushes. (+1)

And Moffboat bursts into the Admiral’s office… only to cartwheel onto Ooydo again and knock her glasses off, again. I am an affectionate boat.

Meanwhile, Hiryuu and Souryuu are enjoying a parfait… then turn to see Akagi merrily munching down on one twice the size of the parfait they were going to share. No, Akagi, your boss is supposed to be the food vacuum with a lust for parfaits.


Tone, Chikuma, and Nachi—who you might not even remember—appear, and then Shimakaze is playing with her Rensouhou-chans. Naka is singing and dancing, while Atago T-poses.

Oh, she was making a flying leap at Naka to glomp her, to Naka’s dismay. I approve. (+1)

DesDiv 6 introduces themselves to Taihou, as she’s as flat as they are but two heads taller. Nagato watches all of the bustle and activity with a small, content smile… and we see Mutsu come up and present her onee-san with a bunch of flowers. Nagato blushes and coughs.

23:22 – On “FUKAKU, FUKAKU” we now move to sunset and Fubuki is running across the docks. She catches up with a repaired Akagi and Kaga, and Akagi takes Fubuki’s hands in her own. Akagi says… something, which of course makes Fubuki blush and grin. She runs off, past the cruisers of TorpRon Three, which prompts Sendai to call after her. Fubuki just waves cheerily and answers something back (the only audio is the music) and she runs off to the top of a cliff and stops in a flowery field to catch her breath.

Ah, she’s overlooking the sea. DON’T JUMP! That said, the art here is gorgeous. (+5)

The wind blows… and we see a shadow of a man in a hat darkening the flowers and grass. Foob wheels around and smiles. Bucky salutes, and says, “Welcome back, Commander!” Oh, good, I thought they were gonna be loliconish

SEQUEL TO BE PRODUCED

And thus ends the first season of KanColle, my wonderful cruisers and carriers and Sippikaze.

TOTAL SCORE: -5
A less than stellar finish to the show. Clear budget shortfalls, and utterly bonkers and circular writing (even within the concept) really let down what should have been a tightly-paced, tense final battle sequence. It had its moments, though. I was honestly expecting a double-digit negative score when I finished and started counting up the marks, so it wasn’t as terrible as I thought? But I think we can also say I’ve been pretty generous to the show.

SEASON SCORE: +44.5
So, as you can see, despite my ranting and raving, I did give the show an overall positive score. Now, granted, that's stretched across twelve episode, meaning we average less than +4 each. Quite a few washes, and a few negatives. But when the show lands for me, it lands well. It's ridiculous, yes. But I like it. I love naval history. I love ships, and engineering. And if thinking first of thicc animu waifus or headpattable lolis helps me differentiate one gray hulk of steel in a black and white photo from another, so be it. This show has actually helped me with studying history; I can individual the names and locations now.

It has amused me. It has disgusted me. It has made me feel genuine emotions, both intentional... and unintentional, in terms of rage and derision. It's not great. It's probably not even good. Yet I still love the vast universe of KanColle, with folks like Ido and Nonco turning out their hilarious 4komas, or Bacius with his ecchier bent on things. The show was just a gateway to that. For that, I appreciate it, but I also acknowledge it is flawed in many ways, including some of its intentions.

Nevertheless, as other series fall away for me, I'll always have this, my guilty pleasure. And I can always have a chuckle at that one silly, foul-mouthed, overeager naughty boat... and say with a grin, Watashi wa KONGOU DESS!

PREVIOUS NAVAL ENGAGEMENTS
Episode 1
Episode 2
Episode 3
Episode 4
Episode 5
Episode 6
Episode 7
Episode 8
Episode 9
Episode 10
Episode 11
Episode 12

[This message has been edited by Kongou Dess (edited 07-01-2020 @ 09:48 PM).]

*Sees another long-ass review from Moffydoodle*

It's good to know that no matter how the world changes, Moff still keeps true to his heart

"Hast thou acted against sincerity?"