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Topic Subject: KotOR III Storyline Contest
posted 04-26-05 04:27 PM EDT (US)   
There's been some discussion about KotOR III. In this thread, you get to post your ideas on what the story will be for the (possible) sequel. After everybody's posted their entry, we'll vote on who has the best (you can't vote for yourself). There won't be any reward; this is just for fun. Good luck!

Rules:
1) The time should be set after the events of KotOR II.
2) There should be 9 party members, not including yourself. Three party members can be returning characters from other games.
3) Your entry must include the following:
- Opening Text Crawl
- Main Character Description (you can come up with a name for him/her, though be sure to specify that this is the hero/heroine).
- Party Members Description
- Planets Description
- End Game Description

Writers:
Scaramo - The Unknown Regions
Arthur of Kings - Advent of the Jedi
Macko
The Crazy Rabbit - The Rebirth of an Order

Entries:

STAR WARS
THE UNKNOWN REGIONS

It has been one year since the Exile defeated Darth Traya and destroyed Malachor V. However, as the debris clears, a broken Sith crawls from wreckage, aboard a damaged fighter from the Trayus Academy. The Sith has sworn revenge on the Exile after what happened on Malachor.

Meanwhile, in the Unknown Regions, the Exile has found Revan fighting the True Sith. At their head are the insidious Sith Lords, dark beings with terrible powers and bent on the annihilation of the Jedi.

Near the Core Worlds, the Jedi Council has been restored. Seated on the council is the Human Atton, the Echani Brianna, the Iridonian Bao-Dur, and the Mandalorian Mira. They hope to restore peace and justice to a dead galaxy...


The Main Character is the Sith from Trayus Academy, Fal Verun, a Jedi Sentinel/Sith Marauder. As the plot twist, you eventually learn that Fal is the descendant of a True Sith. Traya recognized your potential and brought you to her Academy, so that she would one day turn you loose on the Sith and wreak havoc amongst them.


You will have 9 characters who will travel with you.
1) Yuthura Ban – Once a Sith Master on Korriban, she'll join you on Coruscant. She will be your teacher and mentor (like Kreia) throughout the game. She is a Jedi Guardian.
2) Hevar Daal – A hyperspace route explorer, who accidentally lands up on the wrong side of the galaxy from his destination. His ship crashes on Katarr, and he stows away on your ship. He is a Scout.
3) Urvar Jeld – Urvar is a young native of Corellia, who will join you when you reach her homeworld. She is a Jedi Sentinel.
4) T3-M4 – Left by the Exile with Visas Marr on Katarr, Teethree lives in the Ebon Hawk, constantly repairing it in hopes that she’ll fly again someday.
5) HK-47 – You will encounter Aychkay on Nar Shaddaa. Of course, he’ll try to kill you first.
6) Lari – Lari has perfected a mask of innocence. You will encounter her after you have completed your first planet. You’ll find some items from your inventory she has “obtained.” She is a scoundrel.
7) Ermellorh – A Wookie from Kashyyyk, Ermellorh’s tribe was captured by slavers. He has sworn vengeance on them, and follows them wherever they hide.
8) Torvek – Once employed by Vogga the Hutt, Torvek is a retired Trandoshan bounty hunter. However, the prospect of taking action hasn’t left him completely. He is a soldier.
9) Imaer – The Zeltron Luxa provided many of her species as slaves. Imaer was within their ranks. However, after Loppak was driven from Telos, Imaer was given freedom, to which she immediately left for Trandosha. She is a scout.


There will be 8 planets you can travel to.
1) Katarr – Destroyed by Darth Nihilus, Visas Marr came here after the Exile left her for the Unknown Regions. Here, you will meet Visas, who will tell you much of her travels with the Exile. She will tell you to go to Coruscant. Finally, she’ll give you the Ebon Hawk. T3-M4 and Hevar will join your party here.
2) Coruscant – The world lies in debris from all the previous wars. Here, you meet the Council and your new master, Yuthura Ban. They give you the locations of four planets. Each holds clues as to where the Exile is.
3) Kashyyyk – You stumble upon a ruined village…Ermellorh is the only survivor. He soon tells you that Kreia came to this world with the Wookie Hanharr. They traveled to the Shadowlands, and left. In the Shadowlands, you find the Ebon Hawk’s hyperspace coordinates to the Unknown Regions, but they’re in an alien language.
4) Nar Shaddaa – Here, you find Vogga the Hutt’s operation ruined. Torvek will join you, and tell you that Vogga had a strange shipment given to him. He was ordered to take it to the Undercity and leave it there. You go there to find HK-47 guarding T3-M4’s memory banks.
5) Corellia – Hevar mentions that you should stop here for a drink. However, you meet Urvar Jeld in a cantina…she recognizes the alien language on the Ebon Hawk’s Hyperspace Coordinates. You turn to leave, but Sith Assassins have tracked you here. You have to fight your way through an entire planet to get back to you ship.
6) Trandosha – Imaer greets you here. She, however, if in distress: Trandoshan slavers have come to terrorize the inhabitants of the planet. Ermellorh (if he’s in your party) finally gives the Trandoshan who burned his village what he deserves. Imaer gives you a translator.
7) Gunth – Urvar, using the translator, decodes the coordinates. T3-M4, with his installed memory banks, launches to Gunth. You meet both the Exile and Revan. They inform you of your ancestry. Here, Gavu Welor, the Dark Lord of the Sith, and Fal Verun meet. The Exile and Revan usher you away and fight the Dark Lord. You suppose they are taken captive.
8) Zerros – Now that your memory has been restored, you know the capital Sith World: Zerros. It is a barren, icy wasteland that is home to a stronghold. You fight through and sneak by legions of True Sith. You eventually fight two powerful Sith Lords: Quor Shalla and Ceum Ravoth. This all leads to a climacted battle with Gavu Welor.


During the final battle, both Revan and the Exile offer their wisdom as to how to defeat Gavu. He has unique force powers, and has over 1000 HP. One of his force powers is that, every time he attacks you, he is healed by an amount equal to the amount you were damaged. If you search the room, you can find a Sith Sword belonging to your ancestors, which does a lot of damage. With a well-upgraded robe and lightsaber (finding the sword isn’t necessary, though it makes it a lot easier), you’ll beat him, release Revan and the Exile, and decide their fate (you make your choice: Light or Dark). You and your companions, however, stay in the Unknown Regions to hunt down the True Sith. If you chose the dark side, however, you have one last battle: Yuthura. She is very easy to beat after the battle against Gavu. Then, you watch as the stronghold collapses, and you see you and your friends standing on a snowy peak, overlooking the destruction of the citadel.


STAR WARS
KNIGHT OF THE OLD REPUBLIC III

It has been twenty years after that the sith Malak was defeated, and the republic and sith forces are still fighting war against each other, but the sith are losing both forces and battles rapidly, but are telling their soliders that that's just lies from the republic side.

The sith forces has started to seek the ancient race the builders, which is supposed to be the creators behind lightspeed. They are seeking entrance to their secret liberty, which has many secrets.

You play as [INSERT NAME], who works as an [INSERT CLASS] for the SITH empire. You start the game on a dropship, or you're way to the planet Taai'hai where the liberty of the builders is. You arrive to the planet, but when you are at the entrance to the liberty, the door refuses to open. There are no signs of republic soliders, but in the door, there are an inscription, witch one of the protocol droids transelates. You will need four embelms, show them to the sun and then take the freezing pain. No one understands what it means exept you're sith leader, Lord Tyrain, which tells you that it means what we need to find the four ancient emblems from the builders, then take them to their sacret sun tempel, and then travel to their homeplanet, which is suposed to be cold, to find the secrets of the builders, with plans of ancient weapons.

The Sith Lord commands you to travel and find them, alone. He tells you that as the legend says, the four embelems can be located at the planets "Dantoine", "Corrilia", "Darthtoir" and the moon "Layir IV" which is the planet where both one of the embelms and the sun tempel is located. And when you found all the four embelms and taken them to the sun tempel, a monk will meat you, the last of the builders. You won't see him, only hear him and his voice echoo trought the halls, giving you instructions. This will take pretty fast to find the four emblems, since it's not the main story. He will tell you that the Sith forces are lying to you, that they are losing battles rapidly.

He will then instruct you to seek up three of the republican Jedi's, which since long has been hideing from the sith forces. When you've found them, you must travel to Coruscant to tell the republic to do a massive attack against Korriban, where the siths has a new and much more powerfull enemy.

Party Members
# Morgan Ordo - Related to Canderous Ordo. He's the oppesit of his unclue, while his uncle was all muscles, he's the little smart and sensetive guy, but infact, he can't handle anykind of guns. You will meet him at "Corrilia", where you got to save him from evil villagers. Scout. He's as evil as you can be.
# Harald Sharp Shooter - A solider, who you will meet in the secondary part of the game, where you got to find the jedi's. He's evil.
Bone Bantha - A strange jedi sentinel who uses viroblade in the start, and you will encouter her, after a bar fight at tatooine, in the second part of the game. Light.
# HK-56 - The newly updated assassin droid, who is more advanced that it's older models. Neutral.
Gina Sun - Jedi Guardian, who you will encouter her in the beggining of the game, after leaving the sun tempel. Light.
Jaguar Blood - The man you will meet at Naboo. He is a native, which explains his name. He's a jedi "solider" and is on the neutral side.

That was the Party members. Here's the planet list:

First part:
Corrilia, Darthoir, Dantoine and finaly Layir IV.

Secondary part:
Corrilia, Tantooine, Naboo, Coruscant.

Note:
Instead of living of KoTORS main story, I belive makeing a whole new whould be more intresting, and aadded fewer but more unique NPC's and party members.

At the end at Coruscant, several Sith fleets fights an hectic war against the republic, and you togheter with the other jedi's storms the battle ship in hope to find the sithlord Lord Tyrain. Un lucky for you, he defeats you're party and kidnaps you, and uses the escape pods to land on Coruscant. The rest, is unknown, since when you see the crash, the scrren fades into black and the end credits comes.


Scaramo
Ghost Ship
KotOR III Storyline Contest l KotOR RPG
M83 l The Flaming Lips l Manitoba

[This message has been edited by Scaramo (edited 06-17-2005 @ 05:27 PM).]

Replies:
posted 04-26-05 04:38 PM EDT (US)     1 / 26  
Goody. This should be fun. My next post will be with my entry. Oh, btw, I'm going to have a submission to this.

Whoa.
posted 04-26-05 09:16 PM EDT (US)     2 / 26  
Imperial Force

Cool. Also, could you choose a color so I can color code our entries? It will make it easier to label. I'll take dodgerblue. I added you to the writer's list.


Scaramo
Ghost Ship
KotOR III Storyline Contest l KotOR RPG
M83 l The Flaming Lips l Manitoba
posted 04-26-05 09:43 PM EDT (US)     3 / 26  
I didn't realize that it would be so detailed. I'll have to expand a lot on my current storyline I guess. Oh, and I'll definitely be submitting something.

ScottishFinn

2006 OD Fantasy Football League Champion

[This message has been edited by ScottishFinn (edited 04-26-2005 @ 09:44 PM).]

posted 04-27-05 04:02 PM EDT (US)     4 / 26  
ScottishFinn

Yeah, well...

Could you tell me what color you want?


Scaramo
Ghost Ship
KotOR III Storyline Contest l KotOR RPG
M83 l The Flaming Lips l Manitoba
posted 04-27-05 04:54 PM EDT (US)     5 / 26  
I'll take Red. My story may take a while to get up, I've been having a lot of homework and such lately.

ScottishFinn

2006 OD Fantasy Football League Champion

[This message has been edited by ScottishFinn (edited 04-27-2005 @ 05:20 PM).]

posted 04-27-05 05:08 PM EDT (US)     6 / 26  
Green would be good for me. I'll have my story up soon.

Whoa.
posted 04-27-05 11:40 PM EDT (US)     7 / 26  
I'll try this out. I suppose only one entry, right? Okay then...

-"Vivis sperandum. Where there is life there is hope."- Niven family motto

"Laws are like sausages. It's better not to see them being made."- Otto von Bismarck

posted 04-28-05 06:08 AM EDT (US)     8 / 26  
I'd enter to! My color whould in that case be skyblue :P
posted 04-28-05 07:51 PM EDT (US)     9 / 26  
EDIT: Small change to the character's background (i.e., why they go to Coruscant).

NOTE: BTW, Scramo, your story is good and quite original but has a few problems.

1. The Sith never reached Coruscant, its hinted they had an attempt planned out when you're on Manaan but they never did in KOTOR and considering their weakened position during TSL its unlikely they did between Malak's death and TSL.

2. Naboo isn't discovered yet and when it is the first colonists become seperated from their homeworld and Naboo becomes hence to speak a lost colony for some time (not sure exactly how long).

3. You haven't given an explanation to how you'll deal with the obvious controversy surrounding Revan and the Exile's identity, an important key factor.

In my version of the story just pretend that the engine is much more powerful, something for example designed for the Xbox Next. Also imagine that I have all those powerful Star Wars music playing in the background, varying from tracks as creepy as TSL’s or as heart-pounding as John Williams’. Also, the story can be abbreviated as KOTORIII or AOTJ, your choice. Thanks .

BTW: Here’s my answer to question #3. Complex, but it is the only way to do a story with Exile and Revan properly without irking females or dark siders by using the canon storyling (as depicted by Lucasfilm and the Chronicles found at the official TSL site) or by starting off really suped up (lv. 20-30 anyone?) or by using some lame plot device to weaken the character to Lv. 1 again.

One thing that cannot be avoided without killing them off though is getting them voice actors. Even if you only include one they should not be the main PC which means they’ll probably end up talking with the player. Personally I think Revan’s accent should be a cool almost Ewan McGregor English-Welsh accent while the Exile’s should sound similar to Kyle Katarn’s. Just my opinion (that’s how I imagined it).

So watch and see how I handle this conundrum of mind-boggling proportion.

STAR WARS
ADVENT OF THE JEDI

Four years have passed since REVAN, former Dark Lord of the Sith, left the borders of the Republic to search for the outposts he made in the Unknown Regions during the Mandalorian Wars and one years since the JEDI EXILE went to find the Dark Lord.

The Galactic Republic is weakened but has returned to stability. The tales of the Jedi, though still told with eagerness, has grown dim and the citizens of the Republic look less on the past and more on a hopeful future.

But the future is not secure yet. Somewhere in the Unknown Regions, waiting for something or someone to find it, is the greatest threat to the Republic it has ever faced…

There are actually several “main” characters in the storyline. You get at least one chance to play every one of the NPCs and there are also three “main” characters though one occupies most of the story while the other two are only played near the beginning and end.

The first main character is Revan, who you customize right before the titles roll. Revan will be a male/female Lv. 7 Scoundrel/Scout/Soldier, Lv.13 Jedi Guardian/Sentinel/Consular, and Lv. 8 Jedi Weapon Master/Watchman/Sentinel. Details on how you play as Revan will becoming up shortly in the planets summary.

The second main character is the Exile, who you will customize immediately after playing as Revan. The Exile will be a male/female Lv. 16 Jedi Guardian/Sentinel/Consular and Lv. 12 Jedi Weapon Master/Watchman/Sentinel. Details on how you play as Revan will be coming up shortly in the planets summary.

The third and main main character is the Nomad. The Nomad will start off as a male/female Lv. 1 Force Adept/Fringer/Soldier. For those who don’t know what a fringer is Luke before Jedi training or Biggs Darklighter are pretty good examples. A Force Adept is a Force-using character with no particular “official” training by Jedi, Sith or otherwise. You will create this character shortly after playing as the Exile. The Nomad’s backstory is as follows:

The Nomad is an ex-Sith soldier from the days of the Jedi Civil War. Your character was young when the war happened and joined the Sith. You were lulled in to the Sith Military (not the Sith Academy or any incarnation of it BTW) for various reasons depending on how you want to play it in the game based on your conversation responses to inquiries into your past.

However, during the Jedi Civil War Taris was destroyed, which completely shocked you and threw you off. A former Lower City dweller as will be revealed you had left all your friends and family on the world. Repulsed for your own reasons (again revealed in conversation) you left the military and adapted a nomadic lifestyle either to find yourself in the depths of space, recover from guilt of association, or plot revenge.

Eventually you head to the Core Worlds, looking for work. You find work in the form of a Hutt Koga who is looking for some interesting Jedi artifacts, hoping to sell them on the black market or collect them for himself or some other nefarious purpose. You're offered alot of money: 8,000 credits for one Jedi holocron.

I’m sorry but my stuff is really long so far so this is all I’m going to post for now. Expect the planets to come up next (not characters, I’m developing the planets before the characters).

Also, completely OT, have you guys seen this trailer? It looks pretty awesome. It’s at (I’m doing this cause sometimes heavengames links don’t seem to work) http://www.apple.com/trailers/universal/serenity/

Anyhow, enjoy what I’ve done so far!


-"Vivis sperandum. Where there is life there is hope."- Niven family motto

"Laws are like sausages. It's better not to see them being made."- Otto von Bismarck

[This message has been edited by Arthur of Kings (edited 04-28-2005 @ 09:51 PM).]

posted 04-29-05 02:18 AM EDT (US)     10 / 26  

Quote:

Yuthura Ban – Once a Sith Master on Korriban, she'll join you on Coruscant. She will be your teacher and mentor (like Kreia) throughout the game. She is a Jedi Guardian.

This is impossible since it is possible to kill Yuthura Ban in Knights of the Old Republic.

Quote:

T3-M4 – Left by the Exile with Visas Marr on Katarr, Teethree lives in the Ebon Hawk, constantly repairing it in hopes that she’ll fly again someday.

Isn't Katarr Visas's homeworld? That was blown to bits.

Quote:

The world lies in debris from all the previous wars. Here, you meet the Council and your new master, Yuthura Ban. They give you the locations of four planets. Each holds clues as to where the Exile is.

Yuthura is a sith.

Quote:

is the Human Atton, the Echani Brianna, the Iridonian Bao-Dur, and the Mandalorian Mira. They hope to restore peace and justice to a dead galaxy...

That's just assuming the player trained all of those in the force back in KoToR 2.

Quote:

Four years have passed since REVAN, former Dark Lord of the Sith

KoToR 2 takes place five years after Revan. Naturally, KoToR 3 is intended to go forward, not backward.

posted 04-29-05 06:07 AM EDT (US)     11 / 26  
STARWARS
KNIGHTS OF THE OLD REPUBLIC III

You play as [INSERT NAME], who works as an [INSERT CLASS] for the SITH empire. You start the game on a dropship, or you're way to the planet Taai'hai where the liberty of the builders is. You arrive to the planet, but when you are at the entrance to the liberty, the door refuses to open. There are no signs of republic soliders, but in the door, there are an inscription, witch one of the protocol droids transelates. You will need four embelms, show them to the sun and then take the freezing pain. No one understands what it means exept you're sith leader, Lord Tyrain, which tells you that it means what we need to find the four ancient emblems from the builders, then take them to their sacret sun tempel, and then travel to their homeplanet, which is suposed to be cold, to find the secrets of the builders, with plans of ancient weapons.

The Sith Lord commands you to travel and find them, alone. He tells you that as the legend says, the four embelems can be located at the planets "Dantoine", "Corrilia", "Darthtoir" and the moon "Layir IV" which is the planet where both one of the embelms and the sun tempel is located. And when you found all the four embelms and taken them to the sun tempel, a monk will meat you, the last of the builders. You won't see him, only hear him and his voice echoo trought the halls, giving you instructions. This will take pretty fast to find the four emblems, since it's not the main story. He will tell you that the Sith forces are lying to you, that they are losing battles rapidly.

He will then instruct you to seek up four of the republican Jedi's, which since long has been hideing from the sith forces. When you've found them, you must travel to Coruscant to tell the republic to do a massive attack against Korriban, where the siths has a new and much more powerfull enemy.

That was the basic "Game plan" - so here's the text crawl:

STARWARS
KNIGHT OF THE OLD REPUBLIC III

It has been twenty years after that the sith Malak was defeated, and the republic and sith forces are still fighting war against each other, but the sith are losing both forces and battles rapidly, but are telling their soliders that that's just lies from the republic side.

The sith forces has started to seek the ancient race the builders, which is supposed to be the creators behind lightspeed. They are seeking entrance to their secret liberty, which has many secrets.

I will work on more later. Stay tuned :P

posted 04-29-05 10:36 AM EDT (US)     12 / 26  

Quoted from Gaurdian_112:

Quote:

Four years have passed since REVAN, former Dark Lord of the Sith

KoToR 2 takes place five years after Revan. Naturally, KoToR 3 is intended to go forward, not backward.

!!!!!

I was waiting for someone to notice this . In my timeline Revan did not not leave immediately after KOTOR's end. Instead, he stayed around for three years, then left, leaving two years gap between his disappearance and the exile's appearance.

Hence, AOTJ is six years, not four years, after the death of Malak.


-"Vivis sperandum. Where there is life there is hope."- Niven family motto

"Laws are like sausages. It's better not to see them being made."- Otto von Bismarck

posted 04-29-05 03:42 PM EDT (US)     13 / 26  
Right, it sounds like both Macko and Arthur still have more to go. I'll refrain from putting your stories into the main post until you've completed them, but I'll add you to the Writers list. Now, onto some comments.

Arthur

Shhh .

1. Okay, minor plot error. I'll be fixing that momentarily. I believe I misunderstood something Kreia said in TSL.

2. I was unaware of this. I'll change the planet in a second.

3. EDIT: I'm working on this.

Guardian_112

You can redeem Yuthura. Yes, she could have been killed, but I chose to let her live. As for Katarr, she said that all life was wiped out by Nihilus, NOT that it suffered the fate of Malachor. Finally, even if the Exile hadn't trained the trainable characters, they would have found out their pasts eventually.

Macko

Sounds cool. I think it's interesting that you start off as a Sith.


Scaramo
Ghost Ship
KotOR III Storyline Contest l KotOR RPG
M83 l The Flaming Lips l Manitoba

[This message has been edited by Scaramo (edited 05-23-2005 @ 03:56 PM).]

posted 04-29-05 04:42 PM EDT (US)     14 / 26  
STARWARS
KNIGHTS OF THE OLD REPUBLIC III

You play as [INSERT NAME], who works as an [INSERT CLASS] for the SITH empire. You start the game on a dropship, or you're way to the planet Taai'hai where the liberty of the builders is. You arrive to the planet, but when you are at the entrance to the liberty, the door refuses to open. There are no signs of republic soliders, but in the door, there are an inscription, witch one of the protocol droids transelates. You will need four embelms, show them to the sun and then take the freezing pain. No one understands what it means exept you're sith leader, Lord Tyrain, which tells you that it means what we need to find the four ancient emblems from the builders, then take them to their sacret sun tempel, and then travel to their homeplanet, which is suposed to be cold, to find the secrets of the builders, with plans of ancient weapons.

The Sith Lord commands you to travel and find them, alone. He tells you that as the legend says, the four embelems can be located at the planets "Dantoine", "Corrilia", "Darthtoir" and the moon "Layir IV" which is the planet where both one of the embelms and the sun tempel is located. And when you found all the four embelms and taken them to the sun tempel, a monk will meat you, the last of the builders. You won't see him, only hear him and his voice echoo trought the halls, giving you instructions. This will take pretty fast to find the four emblems, since it's not the main story. He will tell you that the Sith forces are lying to you, that they are losing battles rapidly.

He will then instruct you to seek up three of the republican Jedi's, which since long has been hideing from the sith forces. When you've found them, you must travel to Coruscant to tell the republic to do a massive attack against Korriban, where the siths has a new and much more powerfull enemy.

That was the basic "Game plan" - so here's the text crawl:

STARWARS
KNIGHT OF THE OLD REPUBLIC III

It has been twenty years after that the sith Malak was defeated, and the republic and sith forces are still fighting war against each other, but the sith are losing both forces and battles rapidly, but are telling their soliders that that's just lies from the republic side.

The sith forces has started to seek the ancient race the builders, which is supposed to be the creators behind lightspeed. They are seeking entrance to their secret liberty, which has many secrets.

Party Members

  • Morgan Ordo - Related to Canderous Ordo. He's the oppesit of his unclue, while his uncle was all muscles, he's the little smart and sensetive guy, but infact, he can't handle anykind of guns. You will meet him at "Corrilia", where you got to save him from evil villagers. Scout. He's as evil as you can be.

  • Harald Sharp Shooter - A solider, who you will meet in the secondary part of the game, where you got to find the jedi's. He's evil.
  • JEDI
    Bone Bantha - A strange jedi sentinel who uses viroblade in the start, and you will encouter her, after a bar fight at tatooine, in the second part of the game. Light.
  • HK-56 - The newly updated assassin droid, who is more advanced that it's older models. Neutral.
  • JEDI
    Gina Sun - Jedi Guardian, who you will encouter her in the beggining of the game, after leaving the sun tempel. Light.
  • JEDI
    Jaguar Blood - The man you will meet at Naboo. He is a native, which explains his name. He's a jedi "solider" and is on the neutral side.

    That was the Party members. Here's the planet list:

    First part:

    Corrilia, Darthoir, Dantoine and finaly Layir IV.

    Secondary part:

    Corrilia, Tantooine, Naboo, Coruscant.


    Note:
    Instead of living of KoTORS main story, I belive makeing a whole new whould be more intresting, and aadded fewer but more unique NPC's and party members.


    .:THE END:.
    At the end at Coruscant, several Sith fleets fights an hectic war against the republic, and you togheter with the other jedi's storms the battle ship in hope to find the sithlord Lord Tyrain. Un lucky for you, he defeats you're party and kidnaps you, and uses the escape pods to land on Coruscant. The rest, is unknown, since when you see the crash, the scrren fades into black and the end credits comes.

    [This message has been edited by Macko (edited 04-29-2005 @ 04:45 PM).]

  • posted 04-30-05 11:31 AM EDT (US)     15 / 26  
    Macko

    I'll put your entry into the main post. Thanks for entering .

    EDIT: I tampered with your entry a bit (I didn't change any of your ideas, though), so that it looked more like the previous one. I hope that's okay. BTW, if you want, you can come up with a name and class for your main character.


    Scaramo
    Ghost Ship
    KotOR III Storyline Contest l KotOR RPG
    M83 l The Flaming Lips l Manitoba

    [This message has been edited by Scaramo (edited 04-30-2005 @ 11:42 AM).]

    posted 04-30-05 07:56 PM EDT (US)     16 / 26  
    Now the various places you can go, including six planets. Note that they are listed in order of appearance, and may be listed more than once.

    Today I’ll treat you to the new Sith Capitol Arctustae and my overkill version of Coruscant.

    Arctustae: The Sith Capital
    Location(s): The Dark Palace, Jekar Molai; City Gates, Jekar Molai; The Great Courtyard, Jekar Molai; The Emporium, Jekar Molai
    Description: The first time you go to this planet you will be playing as Revan followed subsequently by the Exile. It will be here that the New Sith Empire is located, founded by the outcasts and survivors of the Great Hyperspace War who fled known space to escape what they thought was destruction at the hands of the Republic.

    All the enemies you encounter here will be high level Sith warriors, Massassi, or dark followers of the Sith Order. As Revan you will inflitrate the Dark Palace to try and reach the Dark Lord of the Sith, Duron Keth and imprison him. It is there that Revan confronts the true power behind the throne, a masked figure who Revan merely addresses in pronouns.

    There will be a battle between the two but in the end the masked figure will triumph and gloat over Revan’s body in a strange and almost-Nihilus sounding voice. Then it will black out and switch to the Exile who is leading a group of Chiss into the capitol. S/he will fight several Sith warriors and eventually reach the Emporium, the center of government outside of the palace in the Sith Empire.

    There they will gather to find a great army being brought together and the Dark Lord of the Sith, Duron Keth proclaiming that a new age is at hand and that the Sith shall be reborn and Naga Sadow’s defeat avenged. Troops will march on into large transports while the Sith prepare for the final battle. At that the Exile will charge into the Emporium, beginning a great battle. Show that it is near victory when suddenly the cloaked figure again arrives and this time fights the Exile, defeating him/her in combat.

    Then a cutscene will show the Sith march victoriously over the ruins, Chiss bodies everywhere. Then it shall switch to Coruscant and allow you to create the Nomad.

    Coruscant: Capital of the Galaxy
    Location: Westport, Galactic City; the Jedi Temple, Galactic City; ; The Calocour Heights, Galactic; the Undercity; The Factory District; the Southern Underground, Galactic City; Glittanai Esplanade, Galactic City
    Description: You will arrive at Coruscant on your vessel the Zephyr, an RL-650 freighter designed by Horessh-Kessel Drives the same company who designed the unfinished prototype for the RL-850 design (i.e. Ebon Hawk). You already have two party members at this point. They are Iaco Tabanne and his love interest Qatya Laut. They will be with you when you land at Westport, the main starport in Galactic City.

    When you arrive you will have to get supplies for your ship (which is by the way illegally modified) and move on to find what you’re looking for. You’ll begin asking for directions to the Jedi Temple but most people will think your questions rude. However, you’ll eventually encounter some people who will help you.

    One of these people is Arat Isem, a rogue of sorts who will actually first try to con you out of your money. A successful Awareness check will stop this nonsense but otherwise he’ll sell you some gadget that doesn’t work and once you realize you’ve been had he’ll be far away, activating a side quest. Another incentive for the side quest is the fact that not only did he con you, he robbed you clean too without your noticing. You’ll have to find him to get your credit chip back (which he replaced with a false one).

    You’ll find him nearby, he hasn’t gone far, merely to the cantina in Westport. Find him there and you can either persuade him or intimidate him out of the chip. If that doesn’t work there’s another way you can get it back, play sabaac. He’ll teach you the basics. You can not lose because if you do, you lose the game. This is an interesting variation on your usual mini-game, this one actually does affect the game on a large scale.

    Once you beat him (which you will eventually and probably on your first try if you’re good at it) then he’ll agree to show you the way. He’ll say though that he can’t stay with you much longer than that and that he’ll be leaving after he gets you there.

    On the other hand, if you do have a successful Awareness check then he’ll agree to do the job for credits and show you the way though he can’t stay once you get there. You can also learn sabaac from him later.

    Once you get there you find that indeed, the temple is in surprisingly good shape. This Temple at the moment only has one smaller spire, not the four small and one big like in the Prequels, but even so its abandoned halls are a massive site. Arat leaves and warns you to look out for the gangs likely to be around the area. You’ll dig through and eventually come into conflict with various thugs, thieves, and scavengers and the like but won’t meet any serious trouble until the Free People arrive.

    The Free People are a highly organized gang of Coruscanti who believe Coruscant should be independent from the Republic and all its influences, not taking into notice Coruscant’s own influence on the Republic. They look at the recent civil war on Onderon and General Vaklu’s victories (and not his subsequent defeat by the Exile/Republic forces depending on the last game’s alignment). They hate all things Republic and anything related to it and were some of the first to begin pillaging the Temple.

    They will offer you a chance to join them but even if you take up their offer they’ll bicker until they decide you’re a threat because of your presence at the Temple. At that point they’ll turn on you and attack. They’re all thugs at this point but you’ll eventually need to fight them on their home turf where they’ll have everything from Echani-trained soldiers to dark-side Force Adepts.

    Even so, you’ll be outnumbered and would be killed if it weren’t for the timely arrival of Yuthura Ban, lightsaber in hand (I put her in because she makes an ideal “Last Jedi” and not because you dead it scramo, just to clarify). She’ll have a red lightsaber if Revan was dark side but a violet one if Revan was light side. She’ll fight off the Free People for you and inform you on the situation.

    When you tell her about your mission here, to find a Jedi holocron. She will tell you that all that was here as long since been pillaged, mostly by the Free People who have taken it all back to be destroyed. She did say though that she heard there was a Jedi holocron floating around on the black market.

    She says that the best place to look would be Calocour Heights, the commercial capital of Coruscant and the home of many of the greatest Republic businessmen. You might invite her to join you but if you do she says that she’s got things to attend to here at the Temple. Show your party leave and then reveal a cutscene.

    If Revan was lightside show her step into the High Council’s chamber and stand in the middle of the room. She kneels down and offers herself to the Force, to attone for all that she has done and to earn the mercy shown to her by Revan. It seems she has just arrived a few days ago and has come to make peace with herself and her crimes.

    If Revan was darkside show her stand in the Council chamber and taunt the dead masters of the Council. She tells them that they were fools, thinking they could succeed and to only look at what Revan did. Then she leaves and vows vengeance.

    Then it switches to you again as you head for Calocour Heights, heading through the various streets of Galactic City and using public transportation. In the distance the Galactic Senate Chamber and the Presidential Palace are visible. When you reach Calocour Heights you come into a bright section of town, even during day, with lots of electronic signs and lights. Most of the places here are stores of various things, most of them useless, and there are almost no cantinas here, instead “clubs” which are essentially the same thing except that they are focused more on gambling than drinking.

    The place where you will find information on the holocron is in a small shop owned by a Toydarian shopkeeper named Kazo who sells electronics. When you come to him he’ll tell you he knows nothing about the holocron. However, it won’t take much more than a small bribe, a little persuasion, or some intimidation to convince him to tell you what he knows.

    He’ll tell you the holocron was found by Hek Thulo, a disreputable merchant who deals in all kinds of contraband and illegal goods. Thulo has been the main supplier of such things on Coruscant for a while and meets his contacts in one of the clubs. Apparently, he even had connection to the Exchange back in the days when the galactic crime syndicate was still in power. Now, he’s aiming high with this holocron.

    You can buy supplies at Kazo’s place of course but that’ll be unnecessary. Instead, head for the Ioaa Club, owned by an aged Ithorian woman of the same name who abandoned her people’s traditions to find money in the Core Worlds. Entering into her club you’ll have to pay a high fee unless you successfully Persuade or Intimidate the bouncers. Then, once inside, you’ll have the opportunity to delve into all sorts of games: pazaak, sabaac, swoop racing, or a dueling ring. All of these minigames can earn you money and you’ll be taught how to do them free of charge.

    At a sabaac table you’ll find Thulo in a cutscene. You can challenge him to a game, the only way he’ll agree to do anything for you. Whether or not you beat him he’ll be entertained enough to open up sales on the holocron. He’ll reveal his price: an extraordinary fee of several thousand credits, far more than you should have at the moment. You might try to barter the price but he’ll be stone hard about it. Finally you’ll have to walk away empty handed.

    Just as you’ve left the sabaac table though a cutscene will reveal several thugs coming in, headed by a one-eyed man dressed in intimidating armor. He also has a robotic arm and carries two swords at his side as well as a blaster rifle slung over his shoulder. He’ll motion to his men and point at Thulo and you’ll find out he’s aiming to kidnap the black market extraordinare. You’ll get into a fight but they’ll get away with Thulo and deal plenty of damage while you’re at it. The new engine will let you also knock over tables and duck behind them by using action moves similar to “bash” or “use”, aiming for some nice classic cantina fight action.

    Once they get away Ioaa will be displeased with you and will blame you for the fight, kicking you out. You’ll be on the streets again, this time with nowhere to turn. Just as things look dim though you’ll bump into an old friend (i.e., Arat Isem) in the streets of Coruscant. Once you bump into him he’ll be quite surprised. You’ll be able to tell him about your predicament and he’ll agree to help, for a price. You ask what price and he’ll refuse to say, telling you that he just is in the need for money. You can agree then (in fact, you’ll have to or else the game won’t go anywhere) and he’ll join your party.

    After he joins your party he’ll tell you what he knows about the thugs who might have taken Thulo. He’ll mention that Thulo has, unfortunately for him, made enemies with the Free People, who are the largest gang on Coruscant now. You’ll ask how and it’ll be revealed that Thulo expressly refuses to deal with them, disagreeing politically on their ideals. Because Thulo usually finds his way to gaining very valuable artifacts and the like the Free People resented Thulo’s refusal and have put a bounty on his head.

    It’ll also be revealed that the one-eyed man is a veteran of the Jedi Civil War named Mor Thekal. Thekal was trained as a Republic Commando, an elite unit used to take on dangerous missions and trained to fight the best of the Sith Elite Troopers. For unknown reasons Thekal had a falling out with the Republic in the past few years and ever since has been a large advocate for Coruscanti independence. Thekal is in fact, second-in-command of the Free People and more loved (and feared) than the official leader, an older man named Zax Dajog.

    Isem will tell you it is possible to take down Thekal and his cronies and rescue Thulo but that it will be extremely difficult. No one is quite sure where the Free People’s lair is but that there are many of them in the Southern Underground, the lower, older levels of Galactic City. If you want to rescue Thulo you’ll have to look for clues there. He knows the way but recommends you come armed and ready to fight.

    When you get to the Southern Underground you’ll find more and more lights. It gets darker the further you go down, more buildings blocking out the light. Bascially, this area is the place where Anakin and Obi-Wan eventually find Zam Wessel in AOTC. It is a dirty, scummy, heavily populated place. Walking through they’ll be about six cantinas in various places, two clubs, and more than a few shops. You’ll need to make inquiries about the Free People frequently, which sometimes will get you in fights or ignored.

    Finally, your search will find one cantina where you’ll encounter a Hutt named Jega, noticeably pregnant. She’ll offer you a job after you tell her about the Free People, telling you that she doesn’t particularly like they’re ways of doing things, that it’s bad for business. She’ll mention bounties and the such but also a way to sneak into one of the cantinas around that is filled with Free People contacts, thugs, and the like.

    She wants the cantina squashed as it competes with her business and provides a haven for those “unscrupulous malcontents”. In addition, she says, not only will the job provide you with a way to get to the Free People but also she will pay you nicely for it. You must agree, though not necessarily at first. Once you do agree she’ll tell you to meet a bounty hunter, one she calls “Shadow”. She’ll give you the location of the cantina on your map and send you off.

    Head to the cantina and you’ll eventually find a female Bothan walk up to you. The Bothan will introduce herself as Nyir Sha’do and lead you away. She’ll then reveal that she is Jega’s agent, code-named “Shadow”. You’ll ask if she’s a bounty hunter and she’ll shake her head, surprised at the accusation. She seems to indicate that bounty hunting is beneath contempt for a Bothan and that she rather belongs to a more “elegant profession”: assassination.

    When you ask her what you need to do to flood out the Free People she’ll mention that she suspects one, a Rodian named Kodee who has a particulary weakness that you can exploit: drinking. If you get Kodee to drink enough he’ll spill the beans. The problem is that there are usually friends of his watching. For this reason she’s never been able to squeeze him. But she believes that if you and her work together you can ge Kodee to sing.

    Agree to this idea and either Nyir or Isem (if you have him in your party) will agree to make a distraction. Nyir will do so by asking questions while Isem will do so by playing a few games of sabaac with them. In the meantime you can get Kodee high drunk and get him to spill beans on almost anything with an increasing amount of necessary persuasion. Once your persuade fails or you’ve asked all the questions, Kodee’s friends will notice what’s happening and break in. Fight will ensue, this time with the entire fight breaking in as it will be revealed that more than a few cantina rats here are agents of Jega’s as well as of the Free People.

    The battle will be intense but eventually the Free People will flee the scene, vowing vengeance. In this case you’ll be able to leave but you’ll want to check Kodee’s body, one of the casaulties. Kodee will be carrying a datacard, which will be coded. Bring it to Jega and she’ll have her technicians decode it, revealing the secret hideout of the Free People, in the Factory District. She’ll tell you this is promising, that now she finally knows the location to the secret base of the Free People. She’ll say that she must make plans immediately and that you need to wait.

    You’ll wait for a day and she’ll return, telling you that she has heard the Free People are on the move again but she is ready to help you strike them down. She’s contacted the Republic government which is more than ready to make a move. However, either Tabanne or Isem will force you to wait, telling you and Jega that the Free People might suspect an attack after their recent battle with Jega’s forces. Jega will respect this judgement and agree to send you in disguised as an eager mercenary for hire wanting in. She says your background as a former Sith soldier will help and tells you to talk to Nyir to set up your journey to the Factory District.

    When you go to Nyir she’ll agree and tell you that there is one other major connection between the Southern Underground and the Free People that may get you to the Factory District base. She says that a person close to Zax, leader of the Free People, owns a small clinic down in the Southern Underground which the owner uses to gain public support for the Free People. The owner is a smug little Caarite named Abs. Nyir gives you directions and sends you on your way.

    When you reach Abs the Caarite will first offer you clinical help but if you tell him that you want to join the Free People he’ll immediately get interested and offer you a chance to go to the secret base if you first do something to prove your interest. He’ll mention that a certain former Free Person betrayed the Free People to Republic diehards and got the Free People in trouble. He’ll say that if you want a job with the Free People you’ll first have to “correct” the ex-Free Person’s error (i.e., kill her).

    Abs will point out the Free Person as Jaina Alcon, a native to the Southern Underground. He’ll say she usually hangs out at the Smuggler’s Fortune, a club down here in the Underground. Heading there you’ll find her and may be able to convince her to leave the club and come outside to an ally and then kill her. He says the details don’t matter so long as she’s dead.

    You’ll have to agree to the job but how you carry it out is up to you. When you go to the club you have two options. Darksiders or neutrals can lure her out and then kill her or lightsiders can tell her that she’s in danger and try to find a way to fake her death. She’ll mention that she knows her life’s in danger but she has no idea how you can save her and that you’re better off just taking the bounty. However, an opportunity will present itself when she offers up how you’d kill her: poison, knife, or blaster. You can inquire into each of these and find out three ways to fake her death.

    First, you can find a particular poison which puts its victim into a coma, with nearly unreadable life signs, certainly not with the trashy equipment that Abs has. Its expensive but it’s also a proof way to fake Abs out. Then there’s vibroblade cuts. Cut her flesh but only near vital places and not on them and you can fake Abs out with a little persuasion not to take a closer look. Then there’s blaster in which case you set it to low frequencies and stun her while also giving her burns. This will probably fake Abs out even without persusasion but not necessarily. In either case, you need to inform Nyir before trying either fake attempt so the Bothan can come to Jaina’s rescue later.

    No matter if you kill her or pretend to with success Abs will be impressed and tell you that you’re just in time as one of the cargo freighters they stowaway on to sneak into the factory district has just arrived nearby. Then it’ll black out and you’ll find yourself in the factory district, an uninhabited and dirty part of Coruscant that covers most of the planet, filled with hangars, factories (hence the name), silos, garages, and warehouses. Many of the buildings are abandoned and some of those that are have been colonized by various gangs across Coruscant. One of these is the Free People.

    You arrive there and are immediately greeted by Zax who makes it a point to meet his new arrivals. He talks to Abs for a while and then looks at you, apparently impressed. He says he’s proud to have a new member, talking about how he plans to finish what “Yarrel started”. Apparently Yarrel is another Coruscanti patriot who like the Free People rose up against the Republic, during an economic depression that followed the Great Sith War. It was he who actually won Galactic City independence before eventually agreeing to come back into the Republic with new priveleges for Coruscant.

    Zax says he has several jobs for people like you, jobs to take down the Republic. He introduces you to Thekal who immediately recognizes you. He condemns you, telling Zax that he fought against you in one of his recent missions (i.e., the one to capture Thulo). Persuasion is your friend here and if you can’t handle it Isem or quickwitted Qatya Laut will, explaining either that you actually fought on the Free People’s side (yourself) or that you were simply protecting your life when threatened (Isem or Qatya). This will save you a lot of trouble and Zax will be convinced though Thekal won’t seem to be.

    Zax says to talk to Thekal if you ever need a job. Thekal will then tell you that he has several jobs, from bounty hunting, to swoop racing, to gladiatorial combat with Republic mechs (a new little fun minigame practiced in a hovering landing platform the Free People stole a while back), to espionage. Carry out these missions and gain enough influence (in a KOTOR Sith Academy style fashion) and Zax will finally invite you in to interrogate Thulo who he says has been giving him some trouble and who hasn’t yet been convinced. He’s sure that someone as intelligent and capable as you may be able to squeeze information out of the black market dealer.

    Thulo won’t recognize you, he sees far too many people all the time to recognize one disappointed customer. You’ll have to question him and they’ll offer you a drug with which to do so (though it has the typical balance approach where too much sends him into shock and too little won’t make him talk). If you don’t take the drug and try to talk him into giving information about his hidden store (which is useful for you as well) this will allow you to not gain eventual darkside points from torturing him but will make Zax annoyed and make him push you harder and harder.

    Either way you won’t actually get to the point where he tells you because Thekal will march in with several Free People behind him, including Force Adepts and Scoundrels as well as the usual thug. Zax as you might expect will be outraged and demand a reason for Thekal’s intrusion. Thekal will remark that Zax is a fool and weak, blind to the obvious circumstances around him. Zax will then order his guards to haul Thekal away but they won’t. Zax and Thekal will then argue.

    Thekal will proclaim that he is the future of the Free People, not Zax who he accuses of weakness and cowardice. Zax will retort by saying Thekal isn’t even a Coruscanti and that Zax is the one who will finish what Yarrel started. Thekal will grow angry with that and say that Yarrel was a traitor, to after defeating the Republic to accept it back into his arms and to welcome it as Coruscant’s oppressor again.

    He will then say why he broke with the Republic, citing how he was a Republic Commando who did everything for the Republic, only to find his family killed at the end of the war, only to find the Republic would not pay for his medical expenses to replace his arm and eye, and how he was abandoned. He will cite that the Free People is not a movement aimed simply for Coruscanti independence, but for the freedom of the galaxy. He’ll hint at the fact that he’s planning to do something big, something that will cripple the Republic, possibly the assassination of a key figure.

    At this point Zax is doomed and as a darksider you can offer to help Thekal or as a lightsider stand by Zax or say you’re for neither (the stupid side). It doesn’t matter either way. If you offer to help Thekal he’ll refuse, calling you a co-conspirator with Zax and you’ll be forced to help Zax. If you say you’re for neither both sides will attack you while simultaneously attacking one another and you’ll find it hard to survive.

    You and your party members will have to escape. Isem or Tabanne will mention the fact that you could steal one of the Republic freighters in the abandoned factory the Free People are centered in and escape. You’ll have to fight your way to it but once you get there you can try and escape. You’ll have no weapons to fight with and will be chased down by stolen police vessels which will shoot you down. A cutscene will show you tumbling down into the dark abyss, down, down, crashing through the various layers of the Factory District at alarming speed.

    You’ll wake up later and find the freighter’s interior ruined, with only a few lights on. The windows outside show nothing because that there is no light at all outside. With some difficulty you can find med supplies and heal all three members of your party: Isem, Luat, and Tabanne. At that point you’ll have a chat with them and realize you have to leave the ship to go anywhere as the ship’s engines are long dead and there aren’t enough food supplies to last you very long.

    Stepping out you’ll realize that it is very dark and very wet. You’ll move slowly because you’re tredging through shallow water and because you can’t see anything at all. Isem will mention that he has some infrared goggles. Equip them and your characters will be able to see in the dark albeit in black and white. This will simply be like the regular screen except a sort of Splinter Cell looking fuzzy (though only a little fuzzy) black and white.

    Tredge on through the water for a while and it won’t take you long to encounter a giant ogre. Yes, it’s an ogre. Such things actually exist on Coruscant and after fighting one Isem or Luat will inform you that this must be Coruscant’s undercity, a very different creature from Taris’. It has no light at all and absolutely no human life, just plants and animals that have adapted to life without light, a life that was forced on them by the growing skyscrapers above that block out the sun.

    Isem or Luat will then explain to you that there’s supposed to be some kind of agricultural plant down here, sustained by droids and heat lamps and established long ago, millennia ago and before Coruscant was completely covered by city. They say that it should be connected to the sewers which will in turn be connected to populated areas. You’ll then have to head off in that direction.

    A little something on the Undercity. Here you’ll find ogres (the worst of the bunch and a pain in the rear @$$ to kill at your low level), ravenous wolf like creatures without eyes, monkeys, carnivirous plants, and lots of other fun things. Finally, as you close towards the plant you’ll encounter a giant mutant ogre about three times the size of all the others you’ve encountered with cybernetic implants. It’ll be more than you can handle alone with your two party members but luckily for you, who should come to your aid but your favorite Dark Jedi: Yuthura Ban.

    She’ll slice and dice the ogre and save your butt. She’ll also comment on the latter, saying how you seem to have a knack for trouble. It won’t be long though before you’re suddenly surrounded by strange droids with archaic blasters attatched to their arms which then stun you. A cutscene shows somebody watching you from a video screen. Then it goes black.

    You then awake inside a large lush greenhouse (i.e., the agricultural plant). However, the joy of finding your destination is undertoned by the fact that you’re soon met by a rusted bucket of bolds who introduces himself as the Guardener. Isem and Luat both crack a few jokes about that before the Guardener has two other droids zap them in an unpleasant fashion. It appears that the ogre was the Guardener’s creation and he is most displeased. The Guardener then questions you as to your reasons for being in the Nursery as he calls the Agricultural Plant.

    You can refuse to answer and be tortured, or answer and be tortured. No answer seems to satisfy the crazed droid and he’ll continue to torture you until he grows bored and leaves you. At this point you and the characters can talk to one another and then Yuthura Ban mentions that she senses something odd about you. If you’re a Force Adept she’ll mention something about how you are strong, but require training.

    If you’re a Fringer she’ll ask if you ever wondered why so many things went your way, why you were able to overcome great obstacles which you might remark as luck but she’ll attribute to the Force. If you’re a Soldier she’ll ask if any of the Sith Officers ever offered you a chance to go to the Academy on Korriban. She’ll mention she worked there and has seen less potential in some candidates as she does in you.

    Then, Isem will mention that that’s great and all but that you need to escape. Yuthura will wave off Isem’s worries and tell him that she’s been in worse fixes than this. She then promptly looks at one droid and uses Stun Droid to destroy it and then uses the Force to call to her lightsaber which she then uses to escape. You then have to fight your way out of the Agricultural Plant and towards the sewer systems where you’ll be confronted by the Guardener himself. You’ll ask him to move aside, perhaps teasing him because that he is an agricultural droid, and not a war droid.

    He’ll respond by revealing hidden weapons in his arm modules and citing that he may have originally been an agricultural droid but that the “Creator” gave him a new purpose, to protect the Nursery from harm and upgrading him with combat protocols and weapons appropriate for the purpose. You’ll then have to fight the Guardener who will be a remarkably tough opponent despite his age and who will call on other droids to aid him. In the end though, you’ll be able to defeat him (maybe after dying a few times) and escape into the sewers.

    Climbing through the sewers you’ll mostly encounter rodent-like creatures and eventually a dianoga. The dianoga will be your last major challenge before coming to a door and using Yuthura to smash through it. You’ll emerge in the Southern Underground, right next to the cantina Jega resides in.

    There you’ll be able to talk to Jega and Nyir about what happened. They’ll be alarmed and shake their heads, telling you that you should have let them bring the Republic into it while Zax was still in control while Yuthura in the background seethes with having to work with a hutt. They’ll inform you (though unneccessarily) that Thekal had none of Zax’s subtleties and is perfectly willingly to challenge the Republic government for control of Coruscant openly, just as Yarrel did back during the Coruscanti Coup more than forty years ago. Jega seems very concerned about how badly business will be affected by a conflict, even one that will likely be isolated to Coruscant (the Free People don’t have the resources or public support that Yarrel did when he launched the Coruscanti Coup).

    Nyir will mention almost without concern that things are moving now and that this coup within the Free People’s leadership may be the reason for it. She mentions that she hopes all these unpleasantries won’t affect the large celebration planned in Glittanai Esplanade planned for the Galactic Fair and hosted by the Supreme Chancellor Allet Stak. At this point Yuthura Ban will perk up and ask suspiciously how well guarded the Chancellor will be. Jega will casually mention the Chancellor will be as guarded as he always is, probably not heavily. In fact, it’s a tradition for the Chancellor (a tradition the populat Allet Stak has embraced) to actually walk out into the crowds and greet the aristocrats of Glittanai Esplanade personally as the Senate guards trail behind.

    You will immediately recognize the danger of this and mention what Thekal seemed to be hinting at when he challenged Zax’s authority. Jega and Nyir will realize what you mean and send you off, telling you that Jega tries to contact the Chancellor. You and your party will in the meanwhile fly with Nyir to Glittani Esplanade in a private hovercraft owned by Jega the Hutt and loaned to you for this moment.

    Once you arrive in Glitanni Esplanade (by far the prettiest part of Coruscant) you’ll find huge crowds. You’ll try and work your way through them (there’s no cantinas, clubs, or stores here, just rich people’s condos) to get to the place where the Chancellor will arrive, at the Republic Hotel, a rich hotel skyscraper with a platform where the Chancellor’s personal landing platform may dock with. You’ll head on up and just manage to persuade your way through security (with the aid of Yuthura’s or your own mind tricks perhaps) to the platform (near the bottom because he’s meant to walk out into the crowds) when the celebration begins and the Chancellor steps off.

    They’ll be a cutscene with fireworks and crowds cheering the Chancellor as parading hovercrafts roll on by. The Quarren will step out and wave to the crowd and greet the aristocrats personally one by one and then step into the crowd. Your party members will call out to him but the guards won’t listen and he won’t hear you. Then, all of a sudden, from the crowd a blaster shot will fire and several men will emerge, led by Thrakel.

    Thrakel will openly threaten the Chancellor and proclaim the end of the Republic is at hand. Stak will call these claims ridiculous and being an intelligent and charismatic leader will joke about how Thrakel must be one of the Free People, a gang of cowards and traitors. Stak will call to attention the prosperity the Republic has enjoyed for the past year and the good condition of Coruscant, citing a little bit that is in part thanks to the end of the Jedi, who were a hamper, a crutch the Republic leaned on too much.

    Thrakel won’t bother arguing. He’ll simply call to his men who will quickly dispose of the Senate Guards and attack Stak. Stak however, as Isem will mention, is a veteran of the Mandalorian Wars and more than equipped to fight. Stak uses his large staff as a weapon instead of an aid now which he uses to fend off many of the Free People until Thrakel himself confronts the Chancellor and stuns him, taking him into custody and escaping in a stolen police vehicle. Senate guards will shoot at the police vehicle as it flies away to the Factory District. Everyone will seem in awe but Yuthura Ban will point out to officials that you’ve been to the secret hideout and know where it is.

    Urgently they accept your help and send a platoon of Commandos with you to try and rescue the Chancellor. At this point it will skip to a cutscene where you see Stak being interrogated by the gruff Thrakel, more taunted really then questioned. Stak will continue to be stubborn in front of Thrakel’s torture, apparently still possessing a strong will from the war. They look at each other, two soldiers from long past wars. Finally, Thrakel will be done with Stak and call for the executioner.

    You’ll then arrive at the hideout, guns blazing, aboard your own ship the Zephyr, fighting off stolen police vessels and turrets from inside your little gun hole. Finally you’ll land on the hideout and head in, fighting through Free People henchmen and war droids and solving puzzles until you arrive at Thrakel’s throne room. There is a mutilated corpse there, most definitely Zax’s and you look to see Thrakel on the balcony with Stak about to be shot in the head though the Chancellor doesn’t seem intimidated in the least, simply ready to face his destiny. Thrakel is preaching to the people below when Yuthura uses Force Jump to strike down the executioner and ignite her lightsaber.

    Thrakel seems surprised remarking that Yuthura’s a Jedi. She won’t say she’s a Jedi, but she will say that she is here to protect the Chancellor. They’ll fight then, Yuthura with her lightsaber and Thrakel with his two swords while you help the Chancellor escape. You’ll fight people on the way out and get the Chancellor on the ship before heading back alone to get Yuthura. You’ll find her and Thrakel still fighting when you arrive and you’ll raise your own weapons to challenge Thrakel. Eventually, it will be you, not her, who saves the other’s life.

    When you defeat Thrakel you and Yuthura will be praised as heroes by the Chancellor, who will praise your for your help to the Republic, not for saving his life which he doesn’t seem to rate as highly. Finally, he’ll offer you high positions which Yuthura will refuse and you too will refuse for various reasons depending on your alignment. In the meantime you will ask a favor of him once at the Presidential Palace, telling him that you were looking for a holocron.

    He seems displeased with this, citing his own distrust of Jedi but acknowledging your help. He says his men did find something but that it was shattered, broken. Apparently Thulo’s secret cache was found and destroyed Thrakel’s men. You’re disappointed, knowing your employer will not be pleased but Yuthura remarks that there are other places where you could find Jedi artifacts and that there is more than one reason to do so.

    She mentions that you are indeed strong in the Force and should be trained as a Sith (if Revan was darkside) or a Jedi (if Revan was lightside), that it would be wrong to not push for your development. She mentions that there is one other place you could find such artifacts since that the ancient places of the Jedi have long since been plundered. It is a place feared by most archaeolgists and scavengers for superstitious reasons and hence mostly intact: the Sith Academy at Korriban. She mentions that Darth Revan himself founded the Academy and that it was a place of great wonder and magic. She urges you to go there, saying she will come along if you wish it, telling you that secrets await you there which could help you in your mission.

    You agree and the Chancellor whisks you off and you leave Coruscant behind. On the way out you'll be greeted by Senator Kethol e Dualam of Corellia who seems to be most impressed by your efforts who Stak introduces as having just come back from a long journey offworld. He tells you that he expects much from you in the future and that hopes that in your travels you may perhaps look into the travels of Revan. You and your companions seem curious as to why.

    Kethol nods his head, understanding your curiosity and states that while some disagree with this, notably the Chancellor it seems, Revan is a hero to the people of the Republic and despite the fact that the Jedi are now gone some people are concerned with his disappearance. He asks you to look into his disappearance, just in hope that you will solve the mystery.

    Yuthura seems to be surprised at this and immediately agrees, without your consent. If you question her about this later she'll remark that Revan is important to her and you'll be off on your way to Korriban.


    -"Vivis sperandum. Where there is life there is hope."- Niven family motto

    "Laws are like sausages. It's better not to see them being made."- Otto von Bismarck

    [This message has been edited by Arthur of Kings (edited 04-30-2005 @ 08:03 PM).]

    posted 04-30-05 08:09 PM EDT (US)     17 / 26  
    Scaramo, I think I may have to pull out, at least for the time being. I have a lot of schoolwork that needs done and such. Sorry!

    ScottishFinn

    2006 OD Fantasy Football League Champion
    posted 05-02-05 04:11 PM EDT (US)     18 / 26  
    ScottishFinn

    Sorry . Do you want me to remove you from the Writers list or do you think you'll jump back in later? Good luck on your homework .

    Arthur

    Jeepers, you have way too much free time on your hands . I like your story, btw. Very developed . As to Yuthura, isn't the expression, "All great minds think alike?" I'm looking foreward to the rest.


    Scaramo
    Ghost Ship
    KotOR III Storyline Contest l KotOR RPG
    M83 l The Flaming Lips l Manitoba
    posted 05-02-05 04:14 PM EDT (US)     19 / 26  

    Quote:

    First part:

    Corrilia, Darthoir, Dantoine and finaly Layir IV.

    Secondary part:

    Corrilia, Tantooine, Naboo, Coruscant.

    Sorry to nitpick but...

    Corellia, Dathomir, Dantooine, Tatooine


    Boba Fettucinni said "Just a note to all.. Alexus is a masculine name as well. In fact it is Second Declension Masculine, Nominative Singular (meaning its a masculine noun, and thats the case used to make a singular subject in a sentence)in Latin."

    I'M BACK MELONFARMERS
    posted 05-02-05 06:57 PM EDT (US)     20 / 26  

    Quote:

    Do you want me to remove you from the Writers list or do you think you'll jump back in later?

    Remove me for the time being, I'm not sure if I'll be submitting something, but if I do, I'll let you know.


    ScottishFinn

    2006 OD Fantasy Football League Champion
    posted 05-04-05 05:47 PM EDT (US)     21 / 26  
    A few minor changes. First of all:

    The name "The Nomad" has been changed to "The Mercenary" as this more fits the profile given by outsiders to your character.

    Second of all:

    Koga is no longer Koga the Hutt but Kogago the Hutt (this is because Koga sounds too similar to Kega which is the name of the Hutt on Coruscant).

    Just those changes.

    Cutscene: Tracking the Zephyr
    Location: Galactic City
    Description: You are not unnoticed as you leave Galactic City. A lone bounty hunter, completely covered in armor, notices your departure. His armor is rusted and he wears a large helmet, similar in style to Mandalorian but not really. His armor is a unique, almost Japanese looking design instead of the Roman design favored by Mandalorians. He has four arms.

    The bounty hunter throws a tracking device on to the Zephyr and then gets out a comlink and speaks into it with a strangely aged and wise voice speaking into it. He contacts a Hutt, presumably your boss and tells them he’s found the Mercenary. A deep alien voice replies in response. Translation reads that the Hutt wants to know where you’re heading, and whether you have the holocron, and why you haven’t returned yet.

    The bounty hunter nods, saying he’ll look into it.

    Korriban: Ancient Homeworld of the Sith
    Location: Valley of the Dark Lords, Sith Academy, Tomb of Naga Sadow, Shyrack Cave, Dreshdae Ruins, Dreshdae Canyon, Sith Temple, Mount Ketari
    Description: You land in the Valley of the Dark Lords, same as you do in TSL. The Zephyr should land comfortably enough but Yuthura Ban will quickly rush you out, explaining that you must come to the Sith Academy, where she will teach you the ways of a Jedi (or Sith depending on her alignment), if you wish. Of course, you must wish and if you don’t at first she’ll persuade you.

    So you’ll head to the Academy and she’ll let you use one of the dormitories formerly used by Sith students before the Academy was destroyed by Revan. She’ll stay in her original room and meditate until you go to her and ask for a lesson. She’ll talk with you and then educate you, teaching you first the basic precepts of the Jedi Code or Sith Code (depending on her alignment). Then she’ll teach you the ways of the Force, training you in either Jedi-only (neutral, not light) or Sith-only (neutral, not dark) powers, once again depending on her alignment.

    Finally, she’ll teach you lightsaber combat and deem you ready to begin your trials once you have finished your lightsaber. She tells you that Korriban has been recently touched by two great Jedi who met themselves on its surface. One was Revan, the other was the Exile. She’ll tell you to investigate both.

    You can investigate the place that Revan touched personally, a place built for Naga Sadow during his reign but never once inhabited by his corpse. It is the Tomb of Naga Sadow, ironically where the Dark Lord never set his foot once.

    Here, at the Tomb Revan touched, redemption is the power that grows strong here if Revan was a light-sider. If Revan was a dark-sider, the power that grows strong here is vengeance and you’ll grow strong wanting to make vengeance on the Sith who brought about such pain for yourself. You’ll head to the Tomb to confront your own demons and will see flashbacks of crimes you commited for your cause and how you must redeem yourself or make vengeance while your conscience serves as a judge and strikes you down if you fail.

    If you succeed, then you will grow more powerful. For those who don’t want to follow Revan’s alignment, they can “redeem” themselves by defeating your conscience when it comes to kill you if you are a darksider, or if you are a lightsider with Revan as a darksider you can always do the same when your dark mirror comes to destroy you. If you try something neutral to the alignment requirements then all involved will turn on you.

    The crimes you encounter will be 1) The murder of your fellow soldier Yakob Telar when it was found he had defected to the Republic (you can redeem yourself by sparing his life and protecting him against execution by the Sith or take vengeance by simply murdering the Sith officers), 2) A battle where you were left behind by the Sith army during an evacuation and you were forced to work with a Republic soldier who you subsequently betrayed (you can redeem youreslf by helping him reach safety alive or take vengeance by killing the Sith who left you behind), and 3) A battle where you had the opportunity to speak out for men, women, and children who were captured by a Sith army and were to be slaughtered but you didn’t out of fear (redemption involves saving them and vengeance involves killing the officers after they kill the children).

    At the kinrath cave, the place the Exile touched (which you can go to first if you wish), the power is of forgiveness (if the Exile was a lightsider) or of death (if the Exile was a darksider). You must confront your memories of pain and either show mercy to the Sith who destroyed your world or confront them and kill them. Once again, a mirror image of you serves as the judge and you must destroy them if you fail the test. Once again, you grow stronger from the challenge.

    The challenges here is flashbacks to times you were wronged. First it shows you before the war, where a swoop gang leader denies you pay and when you challenge him for it he mugs you (either forgive him and leave without the money or repeat your mistake of the past). Second it shows you during the war, where a Sith soldier took credit for something you did (either forgive him or kill him and take the credit for yourself). Finally it shows a guilt-stricken officer telling you how Taris was destroyed, which broke your spirit and sent you in to self-exile (forgive him knowing that it wasn’t his fault or kill him out of anger).

    Once you are done with these trials you will return to Yuthura and she’ll seem impressed, saying that you have indeed grown strongly connected to the Force. She’ll then tell you that you must retrieve several artifacts here if you wish to learn more about the Jedi and Sith and perhaps yet bring a Jedi holocron to your master. She says there are four places where these may reside: the two places you’ve already been (Tomb and Cave), the ruins of the colony Dreshdae, and a rumored Sith Temple buried beneath the Academy’s base.

    She says she knows the way there and will help you get to Dreshdae or to the Sith Temple if you wish. She says that the Sith Temple is accessible only from beneath Dreshdae, in the canyon that the colony is built over. In addition, Dreshdae used to have a landing pad accessible from the air but that it has been ruined recently and that you’ll need to go by ground. She can help you clear the debris blocking the path.

    The game here is set up so that a trigger happens when you’ve recovered three artifacts so do the artifacts in whatever order you like. Default is Tomb, Cave, Dreshdae, and Temple so this is how I’ll write it.

    First you go back to the Tomb. In the Tomb you’ll find a door you didn’t go through the first time because it was locked but now you can, it is the terentatek room in KOTOR and you enter to fight your first terentatek, a fearsome beast. Defeat it and you will be able to use it’s tooth as a key to a secret hidden door which will allow you into the base of the doom, near Sadow’s intended burial site.

    There you’ll find several dark beasts and creaturs created by Sith alchemy which you must defeat before entering a room with a puzzle that requires the use of Force abilities to solve (Shock to send an electrical current down a broken door, Push to push several levers in the correct order, or Burst of Speed to run through a closing door activated by a computer nearby. If you do not have either of these moves you can gain temporary use of them by using Alchemy to create a potion that’s recipe is ingrained in the stone walls or Meditation to grant you a random Lv. 1 Force power). Then, once inside you’ll find a shard of a Sith (or Jedi if Yuthura is lightside) holocron. Gather it and she’ll contact you.

    She’ll tell you that she must analyze the holcron shard herself and that you should bring it back to the Academy. Do so and she’ll recognize it as a holocron created by Revan himself, just by the craftsmanship. She says it seems to be a fourth of a holocron and that it is possible that the other shards are elsewhere throughout Korriban, perhaps in the places she suggested. Look for these pieces and she’ll help you craft the holocron yourself (a useful skill within itself).

    So then head to the cave. Head back to the places where the Exile touched the cave and you’ll find little or nothing but recharged dark beasts of Sith Alchemy. Instead, head to other parts of the cave, notably outside. If you do so you’ll find various artifacts and be surprised, mostly datacards left behind by what seems to have been a desperate Jedi student named Duron Qel-Droma. Follow long enough and you’ll find evidence of how he died, by a terentatek. Eventually you’ll find different caverns and face another terentatek, which in turn will lead you to another shard, again made by Revan. When you do so Yuthura will contact you through the Force again and tell you to return.

    Do so and she’ll help you by questioning the fact that these shards are scattered all over a small area of land and that Revan was last here less than ten years ago, therefore giving no explanation to the farspread location of all the shards. She says that it is indeed interesting how this is all coming together and she asks that you look for the last two pieces.

    As you leave the Academy a cutscene will activate. You’ll see a ship landing on the surface, a personalized ship of some sort. Out of it will come the same nasty looking bounty hunter from the cutscene initiated after leaving Coruscant. He’ll look around and sniff the dust, looking apparently for you. Then he’ll slap his upper right wrist and lift it to his face and speak into it. He’ll remark he hasn’t found you yet but he knows that you’re here on Korriban. A Hutt voice will reply that this is contrary to what he’d heard about the Mercenary. He doesn’t seem happy. Then the bounty hunter walks on.

    You’ll get into Dreshdae by Yuthura helping you bash open the doorway sealed with tons of rock. Heading into the Dreshdae ruins you’ll discover a lot of old buildings torn up and fallen into disrepair. One of them will be the Starport of course but this will not actually be your principal search. There will also be living quarters, a medical facility, and a Sith barracks. The only one accessible from where you are is the barracks and you’ll have to head through here to get to the medical facility, where the shard actually is. On the way you’ll pass the living quarters and fight a lot of tough beasts and surprisingly… Massassi warriors.

    When you first fight Massassi Yuthura will contact you with alarm and remark how this shouldn’t be happening and that she doesn’t know who these mysterious warriors are. She’ll tell you that if you want the holocron you’ve got to keep on forward either way. Heading through though you’ll eventually encounter a Massassi Commander who appears to be heavily uniformed and carrying a scepter like the one in Jedi Academy.

    He’ll be scrounging the grounds with his troops when you reach the holocron (wherever you are) and suddenly notice you and order his troops in a language you can’t understand (New Sith) to attack you. You’ll have to fight the Massassi but they’re tough opponents and you can’t defeat them on your own. However, they’ll be forced to evacuate by the appearance of the bounty hunter who will scare them away.

    He’ll then turn to you and begin interrogating you, revealing his name Zegor, asking why you haven’t come back to Kogago the Hutt to deliver his holocron. He won’t believe you when you say that you’re looking for it right now but he’ll leave you anyway, warning you that if you don’t return to Kogago soon with that holocron you’ll have a bounty on your head so high he could buy his own small backwater world with it and he’ll be the first and last to claim that bounty.

    With that you’re forced to pursue the Massassi because they’ve stolen the third holocron shard. Yuthura says she’ll join you if you wish as it appears this “test” will be far more difficult than she anticipated. You then must head down through the canyons to reach the Sith Temple below the base of the Academy. The canyon in accessible through the abandoned Czerka Offices in the starport. Head inside there and you’ll be able to drop down into the canyon ledges.

    The canyon is mostly abandoned and just a lot of ridges, cliffs, and winding paths. All the same you’ll still encounter some predators, mostly in the form of winged beasts like shyracks but also including large, almost dragon like creatures which will land next to you to attack or insect-like predators that’ll simply crawl along the ground to attack you. Finally you’ll reach an entrance which you can go through to enter the abandoned Sith Temple.

    The ruined temple has broken ceilings with stalagtites falling through and pools of water on its floor but there are also several beasts, including two terentateks, several Sith pets, and numerous shyracks and other small pesky beasts, and all the critters you faced on the canyon walls. In addition, if you haven’t already done this holocron yet you’ll have to reach the throne room and take the holocron there where you’ll face an ancient and crazy Sith spirit who will want to sacrifice you to their dark gods of evil. And if that wasn’t enough Massassi warriors will be crawling over the place provided you’ve already found three holocrons, trying to ambush you.

    After you’ve gone a ways Isem or Luat or Yuthura will notice a cavern doorway which is glowing from heat. They’ll remark that they saw some Massassi head that way and it may lead to wherever they’re hiding. Yuthura will remark either through the Force or in person that it seems to lead to Mount Ketari, a location of ancient Sith worship to their gods and a place where sacrifice was often offered. She warns that it’s dangerous and that its toxic fumes still flow from the place. You respond by saying you have no choice really. Since this is the case had through the doorway.

    You’ll enter into a large room with lava at the bottom and a winding road to the top. Inside you’ll have to fight several Massassi along with strange insectoid like beasts plus variants of shyracks that have adapted to living in the volcanic area. In addition they’ll be several small caverns in the mountain wall where you can go in and find various items of use in ancient catacombs made by the Sith. When you get close to the top a cutscene will initiate.

    Four Massassi will come to the Massassi Commander who will be looking at some machine being constructed in the center of the volcano. They speak to him and he turns around. They speak for some time and he seems angry. Then he sends them away, pointing his staff at them and waving it angrily. Then he turns back to the machine and says something.

    Back with you and your party you come out of the mountain on to the mountain slopes. There are layers of snow around and you tredge up, fighting Massassi and wild beasts until you reach the summit. At that point you’ll come to a citadel with a long platform extending from it. Once you get in there you’ll fight Massassi after Massassi and some will even possess Force abilities.

    Finally you’ll reach the platform and watch as the Commander begins to work with two priests to initiate a ritual, bringing forth two prisoners from the Republic forward to throw into the volcano. Yuthura responds to action and begins hacking down Massassi. The Massassi turns around and begins talking with her. She responds by saying she thinks she could try to translate the language, that it is similar to Sith which she learned under Master Uthar.

    She heads out and begins speaking with the Massassi, confused as to why he understands Sith. The Massassi seems equally puzzled and they begin to speak and Yuthura tells you the Massassi is named Kethari and that he is apparently the leader of an elite force of soldiers for some-sort of Empire that is now investigating the Republic and its potential threat to their Empire. He now has two prisoners which he plans to offer to the Sith gods in hopes that they’ll be able to succeed in their conquest of the galaxy.

    Eventually, an inquiry will lead you to know that the Massassi are servants of the Sith Empire, reborn outside of the Known Regions of the galaxy and that they are descended from the original Sith. This knowledge now within your graps you will eventually fight the Massassi, either by provoking Kethari or by simply charging him or by his interest in your deaths so you do not tell others what you know.

    The battle will be long and Kethari will escape, though not before you destroy much of his regiment and rescue the prisoners. Once you rescue the prisoners they’ll fall to your feet and thank you for what you have done. They will be a Zabrak female and a human male. They’ll tell you that they were captured respectively at Iridonia and Nal Hutta. Yuthura will say that this is disturbing to think an empire so long thought dead is returning to power now.

    She’ll ask you to search these planets for evidence of their present, to confirm the stories told by the Iridonian and human. She says she’ll come with you and continue your training on the journey. In addition she says, you should continue to look for evidence regarding what happened to the Exile and Revan which she says may have something to do with these Sith regarding their interest in Revan’s holocron. She says you should also try and find Kethari and retrieve the shard they stole before they destroy it somehow.

    Now you’ll get to leave Korriban and head on towards either Iridonia or Nal Hutta. Whichever you choose will affect which new party members you get first. In any case, it’s time to leave this dust bowl though you can always return, at least for the first half of the game, (it is similar to Dantooine in this respect for KOTOR). Step on to the Zephyr and go off in search of the Sith.

    Next Up: Nal Hutta


    -"Vivis sperandum. Where there is life there is hope."- Niven family motto

    "Laws are like sausages. It's better not to see them being made."- Otto von Bismarck

    [This message has been edited by Arthur of Kings (edited 05-06-2005 @ 01:37 AM).]

    posted 05-13-05 09:44 PM EDT (US)     22 / 26  
    Arthur

    Another wonderful post. As for your changes, are you going to make them, or leave it to me? If you want to do it yourself, I'd recommend copying and pasting your post into a Word document, then simply use the replace feature and make your changes. Finally, you'd copy and paste your better story into your post (as an edit). You probably already knew this, but...oh well.

    Anyway, I'm liking your story quite a lot. A quick question, you said that the Mercenary was young during the Jedi Civil War...is s/he still young? It would, in my opinion, be more realistic if a 19-23 year old would be trying to save/conquer the galaxy (presumably that's what the player is eventually going to do). Just wondering.

    Finally, could you provide a character guide after your planet discription? At least for me, it's hard to remember all the characters if they only appear in the text of your story.

    Keep up the good work !


    Scaramo
    Ghost Ship
    KotOR III Storyline Contest l KotOR RPG
    M83 l The Flaming Lips l Manitoba
    posted 05-23-05 04:01 PM EDT (US)     23 / 26  
    THE BIG BUMP

    All

    I know you aren't supposed to double post, but for the sake of bumping, I thought it would be okay.

    Arthur

    You have inspired me to create a better, more in depth storyline (I'll be changing a lot of things, mainly the party members; save maybe Hevar, Urvar, and Yuthura, I wasn't too pleased with my originials). A sneak preview (a NEW tutorial taking place on Korriban and Katarr) will be coming up later. It'd be great if you could tell me what you think.

    Imperial Force

    Are you going to have an entry to this? It's okay if you're working on it, but It'd be cool if I got an update.

    All

    My promised preview...


    The Main Character is the Sith from Trayus Academy, who starts off as a Level 1 Guardian/Sentinel/Consular, and who eventually becomes a Jedi Weapons Master/Watchman/Master, or a Sith Marauder/Assassin/Lord. Most NPCs refer to your character as the Traveler.


    As soon as you start off the game, you will be able to customize both Revan and the Exile (and choose their alignment). Once your done with that, you’ll be able to watch a short video in which you see the Exile battering his/her way through legions of Sith. Then, it will snap to the Trayus Core, where Darth Traya will give instructions to a figure cloaked in black to kill the Exile. Then, you will customize the Traveler. After that, you will see a confrontation between the Exile and the Traveler. The Exile wears his custom clothing (the tan/white tunic you get on Telos in TSL) with a brown robe, and will wield a silver lightsaber. The Traveler will wear the violet/red tunic seen on several Sith in the Trayus Academy with a black robe, and will wield a violet lightsaber. They will fight, and the Traveler will loose. However, you will at last see the Traveler wake up in the Trayus Hangar and take a small fighter and leave Malachor just as it is turned into space dust.


    Next up, you will take control of Namoth Goll, an explorer from Dreshdae on Korriban. You and one of your friends, Jel Eremapt, will explore the tomb of Shar Dakhan in the Valley of the Dark Lords (which will be much larger than in KotOR or TSL). Starting with a blaster rifle and a stealth field generator, you have to navigate your way through many hallways of the tomb, fighting Tuk’ata, Shyrack, and the occasional Wraid. You will also have to complete many puzzles to unlock doors and such. The deeper you delve into the tomb, you some better armor and weapons (several good blasters belonging to random people like Cassus Fett and such). Eventually, you stumble upon the sarcophagus of Shar himself. Shortly after, you hear a large explosion and find a Sith fighter crashed in the valley, go in it to find the Traveler, knocked unconscious from the blast. However, you two aren’t the only trespassers on the ship. Several Sith board, kill the explorers and throw the Traveler out into the desert of Korriban. So ends the tutorial.


    The next thing you’ll see is the Traveler in a kolto tank. You will be awakened and released shortly thereafter. A typical NPC wearing a tunic will come to see you. However, he has a hood over his brow. You find out that you are on Katarr, devoid of life until Visas Marr returned with an Ithorian herd and nursed the world back to life. You’ll be given your violet/red tunic (but no cape for now) and a room in the hospital to live in temporarily. As soon as you reach your room and rest, you’ll see a short cut scene in which the doctor who released you will speak to Visas, telling her that the coreward databases say that you disappeared shortly after the close of the Jedi Civil War and was reported heading to Malachor V. Visas frowns and nods. Snap back to your room. You wake up to the sounds of battle. You step out into the hall to find several slain Miraluka. You can find a blaster pistol on one of them. Proceed to the healing room to find a Massassi checking a computer terminal. He looks up as you walk in and draws a crystal axe and does battle with you. It will take most of your strength to defeat him. On his corpse, you’ll find a long sword and may equip it if you wish or, if you are better with blasters, stash it in your inventory. A wall in the room will be busted open, conveniently letting you proceed to the plains of Katarr. You will have to fight through several Massassi warriors, and in turn find some random items on their corpses. Finally, you will reach a vast cliff wall. You know you have to scale it, but there’s no sign of how to do so. After you explore a little ways to the south, you can find a human doing battle with a Massassi. He is blond haired, and wears scout clothing similar to the scout class clothing from KotOR. You must intervene, effectively killing the Massassi and opening up dialogue with the human. He introduces himself as Oth Kleec, a scout from the Republic. Depending on your gender, he will add, somewhat jokingly, that he was looking for a damsel in distress (he does not say this if you are male, obviously). You can respond with either a “glad I could help” (for LS points) or “get out of my way” (for DS points). You will not be able to attack him. Eventually, you can ask him for a grappling hook. He’ll sell his to you, but you don’t have any money. You can either threaten him (DS) or ask him nicely to give it to you. Either way, he’ll give the hook to you, and you’ll be able to scale the cliff. You come to the top to find Visas Marr fighting a Sith (the red kind from The Golden Age of the Sith), who will use a Sith Sword. After a brief battle, she wins and comes to talk to you. She tells you that she found out that you were a Sith. You can either tell her that you’re ashamed of you past mistakes (LS), ask her if you two are that different, or call her a Sith as well (DS). She questions you of your relationship with the Exile. You can simply state the truth that you want to kill him/her, or lie (though you will automatically fail at lying). She tells you that she traveled with the Exile for a time being and, if the Exile is male, tells you that her heart desires to know where he is now. She tells you that you can use the Exile’s old ship, the Ebon Hawk, in the Hangar. You ask her why she is letting you go, since she cares for the Exile and you are setting out to kill him. She responds that she doesn’t believe that, when the time comes and your blade is at his/her neck, you will see you path laid out before you. And it is then you will decide which road to take to lead you to your destination. You can thank her (LS), or tell her that you will not hesitate to cut down the Exile (DS). Either way, you have to go back down the cliff and head back into the building. Once you enter, you will find a previously locked door unlocked now. You must continue through several levels of the installation, battling Massassi at every turn. At one point, you go into another healing room to find Oth floating in a tank. You can release him and ask him why he’s there. Apparently, a Sith knocked him out and destroyed his ship. You can invite him to come along, and this time, he won’t refuse. Now that you have a party, the battles will become more difficult. You will have to fight your way into the hangar, where you find a utility droid near the Ebon Hawk. Oth knows the droid as T3-M4. Teethree denies you access to the Ebon Hawk at first, though you can persuade him that Visas told you to go. He comes along, and so you leave your first (and longest) planet behind you.


    You like?


    Scaramo
    Ghost Ship
    KotOR III Storyline Contest l KotOR RPG
    M83 l The Flaming Lips l Manitoba
    posted 06-16-05 03:53 PM EDT (US)     24 / 26  
    My computer crashed earlier so can I please post in sections?
    If you need a posting colour can I have red

    Star Wars
    Knights of the Old Republic III
    The Rebirth of an Order

    Six years after a new Jedi Acadamy was established on Telos, by four jedi, Atton Rand, Bao-Dur, Mira and Visas Marr the Jedi order grows strong once again, now containg many force adapts, showing special affinities to the force, such as Battle Meditaion, Forsight, Healing and Sight

    The Exile has come out of the unknown regions with Revan, and both are now major figures in the order and the Republic

    Alas, the Republic once again is falling apart, lead by Onderon, many planets have begun to feel faceless and are leaving the Republic to bring back old ways and customs, this seperation comes even from the core worlds

    The fledgling order also faces an internal threat, some rouge students have got their hands on an ancient Sith Holocron, containg the means to bring back Lord Eyter, one of the most powerful sith, even more deadly than any who participated in the Great Hyperspace War...

    [c=red]Classes:

    The new classed are,
    Starter Classes stats (saber colour - stats per level)

    Jedi Guardian; blue - (8 vitality, 4 force)
    Jedi Sentinal; yellow - (6 vitality, 6 force)
    Jedi Consular; green - (3 vitality, 10 force)
    Jedi Vigilante; orange - (10 vitality, 3 force)
    Jedi Arbiter; purple - (4 vitality, 8 force)

    The brand new prestige classes

    Gray Jedi Warrior
    Gray Jedi Truthseeker
    Gray Jedi Philosipher

    New Prestige Powers

    Warrior; Leadership +1 attack/defence for all party members
    Skilled Leadership +3 attack/defence for all party members

    Inspiring Leadership +6 attack/defence for all party members


    Resliance Party member only dies when all others are 1 or 0 vitality

    Truthseeker; Sense Weakspot Kill any any enemy instantly who is on 2% health
    Improved Sense Weakspot Kill any enemy instantly who is on 5% health
    Master Sense Weakspot Kill any any enemy instantly who is on 10% health

    Impartiality New dialoge options to help root out truth and do not have light or dark repercussions

    Philosipher; Stratagy +5 attack
    Improved Stratagy +10 attack
    Master Stratagy +15 attack

    Broad Mind You can't go to the light or darkside, but all force powers have a -5 bouns on required force points


    The Crazy Rabbit - Lord of the Underworld

    When Bunnies Bite Your Head Off
    Your'e In Hell Buddy
    Enjoy It

    posted 06-16-05 09:15 PM EDT (US)     25 / 26  
    Take my name off the entry, I'm not going to do this.....wait, the date difference between the last two posts was almost a month. This thread was dead.

    Whoa.
    posted 06-17-05 05:23 PM EDT (US)     26 / 26  
    The Crazy Rabbit

    Nice to see you around! Thanks for reviving this topic . I kept waiting for Arthur to post, but...oh well. Anyway, your story sounds interesting, especially the new Jedi classes. Just remember that the contest is about the story, not the gameplay .

    Imperial Force

    Okay . Yes this thread was dead. Past tense .

    Macko

    Could you give your entry a name? Thanks .


    Scaramo
    Ghost Ship
    KotOR III Storyline Contest l KotOR RPG
    M83 l The Flaming Lips l Manitoba

    [This message has been edited by Scaramo (edited 06-17-2005 @ 05:26 PM).]

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