Part I: Introductions to World Cultures

It all started in Janruary three years prior. Though I no longer remember what events led to my discovery of the AoM Future ES games forums, by some turn of fate I had ended up there. I read about several people's proposals on new civilizations and the like. This was my first experience with forums--indeed, the very concept of them was foreign to me at this point. After a few days, though, I became enthralled with the discussion. I proceeded to register for the forums and, to my surprise found that I had already registered in November the preceding year in order to download various things, which now escape my memory, for AoK. Now this had no bearing on my forumming experience, but it is an entertaining coincidence--at least to me. The name I had registered with was 'gon_racin', and from there my forumming career began.

As I said, I had no prior experience with forums, and my experience with different peoples and different cultures was quite narrow at that point. it is not surprising, then, that I made a fool of myself with my early posts. Who doesn't? I eventually found the Community forums which at that time, if I remember correctly, were titled Halls of Valhalla. None of my posts there were noteworthy, with the exception of a few politically directed posts, which, as you would expect from someone who has not experienced global culture long, were pathetic. Fortunately, a few forummers happened to be on the same side as I was, WTB especially, so my chastisement was at a minimum.

But the fates, it seemed, had more in store for me. After a relatively short time at HoV, I discovered OD, which at that time was something else (I can't remember the name of the old HG main forums). My politically pathetic posts, were judged in a much harsher light in HG main, as you would expect. Although I also posted in the Library, the most notable experience happened in KoRT (that's the name!). There were two threads in particular: one about the Iraq war (as at this time the [potential] invasion was being debated heavily) and another made by Natalina entitled "Oil!" (this also veered toward Iraq). It was in these two threads that my naivete was exposed to the highest degree. Most of my posts happened in one night, and I suffered harsh insults because of them. Although I pretended not to care, I'm sure it hurt at least a little.

I say this because after that night, my participance dwindled. Although most people still didn't know me, I felt as if everyone thought I was incredibly stupid. Now Dio or Brock might not have a problem with it, but back then, it bothered me. Eventually, I decided I couldn't keep posting with that identity. I considered just leaving the forums, but for some reason they pulled me back. I decided to create a new name, and to sever all connections with my old identity. Also, I was determined not to make a fool of myself again, so I promised myself to refrain from posting in any serious discussions, particularly those involving politics. My new name, of course, was Meteora.

My early days as Meteora are a blur to me now. I remember that I was cautious not to hint toward my old name, so no longer put my location up and was careful not to express the same likes or dislikes. I also began to stay away from the Community forums of AoMH and almost completely ignored HG main. This is when my current forum identity began to truly develop, although I'm reasonably certain that every aspect of it has changed in some way by now.

As I said, my early days are a blur, but I do remember that I hung out in Future ES games a lot, and later Expack discussions. An important event to my development as a forummer came with my reentry into political debates. Once again, this began with a thread on Iraq. I joined it quite late, but I was cautious not to make ridiculous claims. I performed quite respectably, although accomplished little. The reason for my reemergence as a debator resulted, I think from the confidence I gained while forumming as Meteora. The experience I had in KoRT back as gon_racin also taught me a lot about the nature of internet debates. Most importantly, though, my early experiences as gon_racin and the early Meteora really taught me about beliefs and cultures that were otherwise foreign to me. For the first time, I was getting a good representation of the beliefs that were completely and utterly different from my own. I couldn't have learned that without the forums, as that wasn't available at home or at school.

Part II: A True Identity Emerges

These days are the ones that I can keep track of least. There are essentially three aspects of my forumming experience here that stick out to me. I remember my frequent, vicious debates on political and religious issues; my participance in the first few LPWs (which is when they developed into the TMO-type threads that later defined them); and my posts in both RoNH and Ex-pack discussions. Chronologically, these all happened at about the same time, over the space of at least six months to as long as two years; however, the Ex-pack Discussions 'Golden Age' probably happened slightly eariler.

The political debates were some of the most important factors in determining my forumming identity. I argued all the time, and was reasonably adept at it. My posts weren't always of good quality, and they weren't always logically valid, but I could hold my own. Acamas was also a major player in some of these, and because he posted in the same manner I did as gon_racin, I seemed to be the 'logical' Conservative of the forums. I really identified myself as a Politically Conservative Roman-Catholic at this point, and this self-given label had an unfortunately large part in determing what I believed. Nonetheless, these debates began the next step in my intellectual transformation. Whereas the KoRT experience taught me what both sides of the popular arguments were and which arguments are completely intolerable and ridiculous, it was in these later debates where I really began to understand argumentation and the art of logic.

My participation in the LPWs were quite notable. Although I missed the first one as Meteora, I posted heavily in the second one, and during the next few I became perhaps the most prolific poster. I'm sure I had over 1000 posts (maybe even 2000 or more) combined in LPW2 to LPW6. There were some notable forummers here that took part in the LPW craze with me. The ones I remember most are Flames, IF, Dessy (a bit later), Kgirl, and, of course, Tyme. It was with Kgirl and Tyme that the best times were had, I think (no offense with anyones else). And although I don't know what they think of me, I've always felt a certain fondness for the both of them. Even though my political participation had a large impact in who I am as a forummer today, I think my participation in LPW had a more immediate impact. My personality online really developed here, and several aspects that identified me later came about because of LPW. Among these were my 'obsession' with Jessica Alba, my supposed arrogance, my nickname "Mete The Lame," and my extremely heavy posting. My experience in these were reflected in all the other threads I posted in.

My participation in RoNH and ExPack discussions are hard to remember, but I feel they are worth mentioning. At RoNH, I participated heavily in General Discussion, which is probably the only time I have ever done so. I also was one of the most prominent members in the Community forums there, although at that time there were a few more than there were even slightly later. What I remember most about Ex-Pack discussions was that aom dude and I could be said to dominate the forums. We didn't agree on everything in relation to the Expansion Pack, but we were usually united when it came to mutilating the less-intelligent suggestions that less experienced forummers made (which, ironically, were the same types of posts I made as gon_racin). Deathmaster666 also played a reasonably important role here, although all I remember about him is that we had some rather hostile debates. Lastly, SOAP got his name in Ex Pack Discussions, and his feud with Acamas also began there. My experiences here are worth noting, I feel, simply because they were really the only time I posted heavily in relation to the game. Other than these times, my HG experienced has been completely Community-related. Also, my RoNH posting days brought me as close as I will ever be to becoming a mod, and they also lead to great times in the late RoNH Community forums.

The most important thing that happened during this period is the one I am most embarrassed about mentioning, although I think others are or were in the same position. My participation at HG was unfathomably high, and my ppd went up to over 23 (which was higher than it seemed, because for a long time I was around 4.0). HG became my only real social experience, which was the basis of my high participation. My spoke with HG people more than I spoke to anyone in real life. Although I can pinpoint exactly why, it is obvious that this fact is extremely important when it comes to determining my HG identity as well as my RL identity. To me, HG was more of a real life than real life was. I was slightly self-concious about it, but I never had the will-power or the motivation to cut myself from HG and rectify the situation. I guess I was able to determine that it wasn't a totally bad thing that most of my social interaction came from HG; alternatively, my rationale might have been that it was my biggest mode of social interaction simply because I couldn't have any other one, and that quitting HG would simply mean that I would have no social interaction at all. I honestly can't remember. Of course, I also stayed because HG was so damned fun at that point. I would often spend hours posting in LPW alone, and I would have a smile on my face the entire time.

Part III: A Revolution of Attitude

Some time between my experiences that I had just spoke of and now, something big changed in me. I'm not sure what it was, but, slowly but surely, it greatly changed how I used the forums. It started, I think, some time near the end of AoMH's popularity to the first months of Ao3H's reign. My confidence as a forummer had grown exponentially in the two years since I had started forumming, and by now I was making threads weekly, and had even had a few brushes with bandom. I was a prominent forummer; I probably wasn't the most well-liked, but I certainly wasn't hated. Either way, I was well-known.

Like I said, I can't put a finger on exactly what changed, but it is obvious something did. The simplest explanation is that I just got older, and with that my maturity rose to a point where I no longer felt like posting how I used. Certainly that's a major part of it, but I don't think it can explain everything. Certainly there have been times recently when my posting habits modelled those that I had a while ago, and there have been times a while ago where my posting was as it is now. I think the biggest factor in my change is what has happened outside the forums. Whereas the forums were my biggest social interaction for two years or so, now that I'm in college that is no longer the case. Not only am I more busy now, but I also view the forums in a totally different life. I post here, now, solely because it is entertaining. I can't say they are a major part of my lifestyle at all.

Actually attending college doesn't account for the total change, though (which is obvious). Even the summer after I finished high school, my posting habits began the trend that is so far developed now. I didn't necessarily post less, but things that interested me no longer did. I unintentionally began ignoring things which used to amuse me to no end or give me huge amounts of satisfaction, such as the Staff of Truth religion. My outlook on my life and my future changed with the milestone of graduating from high school. I began to look forward to the future more, and some how that translated into a lessened identity tie with the forums.

I can't honestly judge how am I now. I can only let you do that. Because I'm still in the midst of the change of attitude, and indeed we never stop changing anyway, I can't get any perspective on it. So I suppose, when it comes to seeing how what I am now, I have to leave it to you guys.

Conclusion

I wrote this tribute not as a glorification of my forumming career or a statement of my importance. You guys certainly would have no interest reading an auto-biography of my time at HG. Nor was it written as a farewell notice. I don't mean to imply that I have the authority to write a history on HG, or that I've experienced HG more than anyone else, for neither of those are even remotely true. I'm not trying to suck up or be all lovey and sappy toward HG. Rather, I wrote it for two reasons: To better help myself understand what HG means to me and how it has affected my life (because like it or not, it has been a huge part of my life), and to offer an example to others of what HG can mean to a person. Certainly others will have different experiences with it, and by no means am I implying that mine is innately better or is a good representation.

So what has HG done for me? Well, hopefully I've offered some explanation in the preceding paragraphs, but if I had to summarize it in one statement, I would say this: HG has broadened my horizons. In my view, there is so much about the world that I wouldn't know if it weren't for HG. As I said in the beginning, before I started forumming, I was completely naive on all political matters--hell, not just political, but in all matters that affect people. I didn't really know other points of view, and HG has been invaluable in helping to learn them.

An interesting thing about my experience here is that it has been almost completely community-based, and yet this is primarily a gaming site. What does this mean for HG? What does it mean for me? Nothing. HG brought together a community made up of people who shared common interests. It's natural that a strong community will develop even after many of its members have no interest in what originally brought them together. I don't think this should be discouaged, and, in fact, I think it is something that should be encouraged.

So what now? Well, nothing. This isn't a farewell notice, or anything like that. I don't believe in such things. I'm not leaving, nor am I going to start posting less than I have been.

I guess the most basic reason this was written, aside from what I outline above, is that I realized, after much recent self-reflection, that I owe a lot to HG. It made me who I am today. So whether you're interested in this or not, I feel I owe it to the community to say how important it has been to me.

If you read all this, thanks. If not, well, the most important paragraphs are the first three of the conclusion, I think. At least read those.

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