So here it is, the 3rd version, I think, of this thread, it's been a while since one was out and no one is really gonna read old ones.

I'll start with some of my old ones and some I remember:

You know when you've played too much AoE when...When you feel sorry for people getting banned for being in clans of cheaters, and you revolt, only to find that the revolution feature sucks, and you're better off in the position that you started with.

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You think of mamelukes when you say harder in bed (I'm the one on cookiecrisps sig )

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You start thinking that the French should have lamed thoroughbred curaissiers in WWII

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You choose AOE instead of getting laid. (refers to Nightscr3aM in my sig)

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You go to a dutch bank and ask for free coin, only to find 4 and half workers there.

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
Laugh at portuguese people for being UP (old one)

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You stop eating for three days because you're saving up for the colonial age

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You play AOE3 at work.

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You wonder what kind of diet the cuiriasuars used in order to slim down one full population

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You play too much Aoe when youre fat because you've eaten too many sandwitches during NR games (tricky people will get this one)

On a biology test:
Question: What does ATP stand for.
Answer: Advanded Trading Post

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You start fantasising about/masturbating over/ Queen Isabella or Lizzie the pirate.

You know when you've played too much AoE when you admit...
I once woke up out of a dead sleep because in my dream I thought I saw my idle villager icon come up.

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You get fed up of iroq lamers, so go back to aom, only to find everyone isis laming. Then go play some aok only to find everyone is hun laming.
Then realise there's nothing else to do other than study for exams....

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You don't want packages to be sent from Berlin because you can't take care of the Uhlan's horses.

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You cant sleep because of a headache trying keep track of your tripple dock schooner boom in your dream.

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You try to play the opening tune on a snare drum.

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You dream about patches and wake up disapointed.

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
The people in Nandos remind you of playing Ports.

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You wonder how you could get 75 good pieces of meat out of a dog.
You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You think the Ottomans went to America.

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You wonder why America isnt completely populated by Iroquoi people.

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You wonder if the native Americans knew what the "shee-ha!" noise coming from the british settlement was.

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You yell at your wife and children in the back yard for not herding the deer TOWARDS the house.

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You get arrested for running through the neiborhood in your striped pajamas with a kitchen knife yelling: " You vill submit, for I am de Landishitz"

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You go to Florida for to search for a moon-shaped swamp with a huge gun, and to cuba to find a barrel of water from the fountain of youth.

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You raid incessantly (non stop) so you can hear the female villagers scream "ohhh" (the one that sounds like an orgasm noise)

History Exams

Why was Napoleon so succesful?
He spammed Gendarmes.

Why did the Industrial Revolution start in Britain?
They did a manor FI.

Why was there very few actual fighting in the Cold War?
It was a treaty game.

Why are there so few native americans left in the USA?
They got killed by Spies.

Why did the Ottoman Empire stopped its expansion in the 17th century?
They forgot to make a mosque and were capped at 25 vills.

Why did the Ottoman Empire never have colonies in America?
They got beaten by Morgan Black while he was looking for the Fountain of Youth.

Math Exams

Explain why infinity isn't a number
The highest level you can get is 131.

Biology Exams

Explain what is meant by microbiology.
A branch of biology which requires a lot of attention from the biologist.

Economy Exams

Explain why Colombia has a weaker economy than France.
They revolted from their Homce City.

Geography Exams

What are the most important countries in the world?
-France
-The Netherlands
-Spain
-The Iroquois Confederacy

Why would a poor farmer in Ethiopia rather have a cow than a horse?
Horses get countered by heavy infantry while cows can't be killed, only captured.

Why Africa is so poor?
Iroquois has put up a Warhut in their hunts.

Why Bill Gates is the Best AOE3 player?
His MICROmanagement is awesome.

How was the world created?
I dont know, Grenadiers just suck.

Why did the Ottomans have such extensive trade routes?
They start with 400 wood and sent ATP as their first card.

Why did the Ottoman siege Constantinople?
They rushed Constantinopla because they were preventing Constantinople from booming

Why is Fidel Castro a Communist?
He HATES the Gold Trickle card.

Why Cubans naval military Beats European naval Military?
THEY HAVE CANOES!!!

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You like watching replays more than movies

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You start making posts about "You know when you've played too much AOE when..."
You actually reply to the post

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You think Cyclohexane's "AOE3 TWC Quick Reference Guide" should win the next nobel prize for literature

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You laugh at clumsy people and say that their micro sucks

You know when you've played too much AoE when... You think art class means learning how to micro falcs.

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You wonder why the Iroquois ever lost.

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You tell your history why the Sioux lost all there land, because they had no walls.

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You think russian women spit out only triplets...

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You wonder why Dutch halbs don't participate in Olympic running events (And come to the conclusion that it must be because they get beaten by native scouts.)

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You claim it was the nitro pertards who blew up the two towers

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You go to a bar, expecting to see cowboys, pirates, ninjas, samurai, knights and huge cannons

You know when you've played too much AoE when... You are having a baby and there are 200 people in your town, the doctors say "you have reached the popultation limit."

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You refuse to get a car, and keep saying "tuck tuck tuck"

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You think that America must have revolted because Britain's longbows got nerfed

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You claim that Hitler committed suicide when he found out that his war wagons were nerfed

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
When you're old enough to know, your parents tell you how babies are made - from out of the town centre, of course!

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You realise why mosques play such a big part in Muslim's lives - without them, they'd only be able to get 25 vills

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You pray your boss or parents don't have stealth ability

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You think Ourk should be in charge of the national defence in France

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You think you can speak 11 languages

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You refuse to go to a house party unless its german, because you know that houses don't support more than 10 population.

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You think trees and rainforests could be saved if people just sent for 700 wood instead of chopping.

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You believe the space race between the United States and the Soviet Union never happened because only the British have rockets.

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You believe all church organ players suck at their profession.

You know when you've played too much AoE when...TheHistory teacher tells you the crossbowmen were defeated by expert grenadiers you call him a liar as "x-bows" are a direct counter to grenadiers.

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You believe Ottomans declined in power because their abus guns were nerfed.

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
At the train depot, you ask if you can switch to XP towards your shipments, rather than resources.

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You can't help but say unit dialogue for whatever you do.

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You classify Cortez's conquest of the Aztecs as Spain as laming.

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You claim no one's house is great because only the iroquois have great houses.

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You think all french people are expert fur traders and woodsmen, and are resistant to gun fire.

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You are constantly worried about not having an explorer around you because forest prowlers could come out of nowhere.

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You say winston churchill is 2k+ with british because he can control them well.

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You settle the arguement about the rightful ownership of America by saying it belongs to the first one to gain map control.

You know when you've played too much AoE when...Standing on the train platform you feel pleased with your local council that they have upgraded your trade route

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You sit there screeming at "The Last Of The Mohicans" telling them to go into stealth mode

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You refuse to believe there are four million people in Ireland, because even with Church cards, mercs, and Aztec Big Buttons, that's impossible.

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You wonder why people spend hundreds of euros on plane flights, when it only takes 2mins for a villager to cross the map.

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You are scared to go to Spain, because you think that anyone can randomly conjure up OP war dogs.

You know when you've played too much AoE when...You're constantly arguing with your history teacher. You seem to spend your life trying to explain to her that it wasn't European settlers that led to the Sioux's downfall, It was because they built teepees. And only noobs build teepees.

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You think spanish people get twice as many presents for Christmas than anybody else.

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
Your Mam asks you to get food from the shop, you reply with "Si!"

You know when you've played too much AoE when...You're about to fight with your school bully, you say "Laiyon!/Assail!" (Attack!)

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You answer the phone "wakta'are" or "Si"

You know when you've played too much AoE when...Foreplay for you includes "team cords of 1000 brazilwood"

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You are one of those kinky cosplay types so for you, foreplay means "team furriers"

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
On a business trip to Toronto you spend the entire week locked in your hotel room for fear of stealthy FP and Great House

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You are surprised to find out that Spain does indeed have leash laws.

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You fail miserably as a social worker in Minneapolis...you refuse to believe all those sioux guys on the street are actually homeless...they have 200 pop right?

You know when you've played too much AoE when...You're playing chess and you open by sending a war hut travois to e4

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You dream at night that you are advancing in age and will wake up with 2 falconets at your bedside

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You try to prank call your friends but they know it's you because they can hear the "building siege" music playing in the background

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You have "building siege" music as your ringtone

You know when you've played too much AoE when...Your wedding theme is "building siege" - oh wai...

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You name your kids Amelia, Kanyenke and Morgan.

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You play dance hall music hoping to attract ronin

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You are too lazy to go to the store so you rely mainly on big button and shipments to keep the fridge stocked

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You sell your Magic card collection to buy RAM to play AOE (oh the horror)

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You actually close all your torrents and kazaa to keep AOE from lagging (horror of horrors)

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You get searched by airport security because someone overheard you playing Ottos in the internet lounge

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You can't think of any more ways in which you might be playing AOE too much so you quit here and go back to playing AOE

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You know you've been playing too much when you say "lol" instead of actually laughing.

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You know you've been playing too much when you're actually good with Germany.

History Question:
Q: How did Great Britain win the battle of BritainA: Rocket spam

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
Ordering Pizza saying: "Could I ship 1 pizza crate plz?"

You know when you've played too much AoE when... Your roommate is complaining about writing a paper while you are asleep, and you yell "shut up the horse artillary is on the way," while you're still asleep.

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You chop wood and mine gold in hope that you might be able to get your own personal falconet.

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You take on a Russian soldier because you know settlers beat strelets.

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You wonder why America is so well off economically; they revolted, didn't they?

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You move to Spain so you can win more.

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You believe the world is a circle, not a sphere.

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You wonder why there aren't 10 people in every house.

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You pay 100 food for each kid you have.

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You grab a pike and try to tear down another city's "Town Center" with it.

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You try to rob a bank screaming "I'm in stealth mode! I'm in stealth mode!"

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
(This speaks for itself, you actually remodel poetry to AoE-style)

I am the very model of an aoe3 heavener
I am a sound strategist and a good home city leveler
I read without a problem 7000 words long Ender's posts
I despise quicksearch and I am frequently game browser host
I speak French fluently and know some words German and Spanish too
I know abbreviations like FF, HC, OP, FU
I play Portuguese and Dutch and even give Germans a chance
Iam known for my british strats and for the way that I play France
My micro is unmatched due to my inhuman amount of clicks
I know one can only win by thinking good and taking risks
I am a sound strategist and a good home city leveler
I am the very model of an aoe3 heavener
I know what counters doppelsoldners, falconets and ERKs
I know gamer etiquette and when to say "gg" and "k"
I fight with renegados, comancheros and those pistol dudes
know when to use Tashunkes, what to do with them and how I should
My tactics are original, my strategies unorthodox

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You walk up to someone and say: "Hmmm, ma'am, I think you should turn your graphics up."

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You can't get laid even if you wanted to.

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You go to your real bank, and find out that you have more coins in discovery age than you have in your own bank account!

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You get fired from your work.

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You don't know what WoW is but you suspect it has something to do with War Wagons.

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You have a different HC for every day of the week, for each civ.

You know when you've played too much AoE when...
You have made more Imperial Monitors in your AoE career than most people have strelets.

You know when you've played too much AoE when...There are very few things in life that a second factory wagon and a shipment of Black Riders can't fix.


Keep them coming... Maybe we should get this one stickied and I can keep adding them. I'm currently on 3 sigs

I'll make the Q's bold and make them grammatically correct, easier to read etc later.





EDITED UP TO AS_SAFFAH 55 REPLIES. PLEASE STICKY THIS.

[This message has been edited by micky_t (edited 07-03-2007 @ 04:20 PM).]