The Sixth Somewhat-Annually-Held Designer Awards - Presentation

Yeebaagooon waved his hand, meaning voting had come to an end. He announced that the votes had been counted and the presentation could begin.

This year the venue was unknown, but surely nothing could be more spectacular than this diamond space station? Wrong. Yeebaagooon ushered everyone into a small room buzzing with blue and green circuitry. He used a plunger to cram as many people in as possible. The floor and ceiling then began to glow and the designers gasped as they struggled to breathe. They watched as the air weaved a cocoon around Yeebaagooon before imploding itself in a purple pulse. The same cocoon was now weaving around the group of designers inside the small room. The designers felt free and breathed once more. They then begun to fall through a vortex very slowly. The vortex was blue and they were falling at about walking pace. Each designer was in a separate vortex stream. They looked behind them to see the vortex dissipate and glow red. Suddenly the entire vortex tunnel ignited and the red flames sped towards the designers. The tunnels sharply turned upwards and everyone was caught up in the stream of fire as they were propelled up into another dimension. The fire did not burn, but eventually something came into focus.

All designers saw some sort of ship before they blacked out.

The designers gradually awoke after their ordeal and found themselves sitting down in egg shaped chairs wearing straitjackets. As most of them groaned the laughter of Yeebaagooon was heard all around.

'Sorry, couldn't resist the straitjackets!' he chuckled. The straitjackets immediately faded away to be replaced by a multitude of coloured tuxedos and ties. Jazz music was heard everywhere and the designers stood up. A large screen showed them where they were.



Could it be real? How was it possible? But the designers had arrived, on Yeeebaagooon's timeship. The designers were in a circular hall made entirely out of plasma screens. There were chairs dotted around the room and at the front of the room was the Yeebaagooon coat of arms, proudly displayed on a green flag many metres high. There was another room off this one that looked very similar to the small room the designers had been crammed in earlier, only a lot more spacious. There was a reactor; the temporal core directly above the room, it hummed with plasmatic energy and playfully shot lightning bolts around the room.

Yeebaagooon walked up to the podium and addressed the crowd.

'Welcome to my timeship!' he beamed 'We are now in the year 4747, a truly excellent venue for our presentation. If you look out of the left window you will see a beautiful nebula and if you look out of the right window you will see the burning remains of the USS Enterprise.'

The designers inhaled with awe as the sides of the room fizzled away to show the dazzling sights of the universe. The corpse of Wesley Crusher drifted towards the ship. At this distance the designers could see the phaser burns that were the result of Paramount's wrath. The corpse met with the hull of the timeship and was converted to pure energy.

The power core of the ship groaned and Yeebaagooon quickly wrote out a list of quotes and fed them to the reactor. The reactor belched, and the lights came back on with this new input of power.

'I am pleased to welcome you all here, now let the presentations begin!' said Yeebaagooon, striding up to the podium.

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Presentation

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The jazz music died down as Yeebaagooon shuffled his notes. The designers sat down in their chairs that aligned themselves to make rows.

'First of all we go to the best scenario' announced Yeebaagooon, 'and this year the award is split between three screnarios. And the winners are The Lost Legion, The Hobbit and Sorcery Revamped!'

The chairs of Oscar and Istari glowed green before they moved along the floor to ascend up to the podium to receive their rewards. The chair of Oscar blossomed red flames and he lifted up into the air and moved towards the podium. He scorched many designers and set many tuxedos on fire.

Both designers stood up and the trophy dissolved into a pile of golden sludge, that then split into three piles and moved out to reform as three replicated trophies. Oscar and Istari shook Yeebaagooon's hand and held their prizes proudly up high to receive the applause. Yeebaagooon offered them each a tub of Italian ice cream from the year 2023, which both designers ate happily.

After returning it was time to reveal the Best scenario of the year (2008 and 2009 of course). And there were two winners yet again being: HailToTheOboe with Let Heaven and Nature Sign and The_Vandhaal with The Corruptor. What appeared to be the flag displaying the Yeebaagooon coat of arms changed into a projection of the two scenarios. Hail was first up to accept his reward. His chair was spinning round on a Curse SFX and a lonely Ragnarok SFX orbited him in a circle. He graciously accepted his trophy before transporting himself in a line back to the cinematic block where his chair had been before.

Then The_Vandhaal walked up, without being accompanied by his usual darkness and mystery. The designers craned to see who this powerful figure was, but were disappointed to find that The_Vandhaal was wearing a Pamela Anderson facemask. A squeal came from the audience that was tracked down to Mephiles. Yeebaagooon rolled his eyes and used the transporters to shift the wet stain on his trousers.

The_Vandhaal held his trophy up and shouted a spell phrase from The Corruptor before vanishing in a mass of flames. The now blackened Yeebaagooon cleared the stage of soot from the mighty designer before moving on to the next award.

And it was the best multiplayer scenario award, a stream of electrons flew towards the computer displaying the winning scenario Minigames X! Yeebaagooon almost fainted in disbelief and attached electrodes to himself. He pulsated before returning to normal and started having a conversation with mid air. The designers looked puzzled before Yeebaagooon vanished completely, traveling 47 seconds into the past to present the award to himself. The causality was complete and the designers saw 2 Yeebaagooons! As if one was not bad enough!

The other Yeebaagooon then proceeded to go back in time to end the paradox and normality was restored. The temporal core glowed green in light of the recent power usage.

The original Yeebaagooon took up to speaking again and announced the winner of the Tiny. Huge applause kicked in from the designers.

The Tiny scenario was not specified, so confusion spread amongst the crowd as to who would win it.

Eventually it was left in mystery as the best singleplayer scenario was announced. The winners were Istari with Sorcery Revamped and AnnoDominius with The Lost Ruins Of Mesoamerica. Anno got up from his couch and ate his peeled grapes as he walked slowly towards the stage. Some designers had been nominated to follow him and hold his long cloak off the ground to stop it getting dirty. Yeebaagooon's mum appeared on the projector holding a mop and a bottle of Cillit Bang. She tutted at Anno, how dare he think mummy would let Yeebaagooon play in a dirty timeship? Yeebaagooon blushed with a nice tinge of red and Anno laughed. However, Survivor Fo had been appointed to hold his cloak and had been transported forwards in time from his death. He laughed as he ran off in a random direction and held the cloak up high. Anno quickly jumped towards Fo and kicked him through the door to the holodeck. Fo feel into the holographic River Tiber, and Anno was pleased. Anno graciously accepted his reward before playing a fanfare to the audience. Anno took his seat, and some people began to peel grapes furiously.

Istari came up to the stage again, and bagged the trophy for his scenario. He smiled to the audience before flying back to his chair.

Anno had no rest as the best singleplayer scenario of the year award was given to The Lost Ruins of Mesoamerica. The grape peeling frenzy ceased as the Roman collected another prize for the empire.

The award most people were vying for was the best scenario designer award. Many great people were only with one vote, but on top with 2 votes yet again was Istari! Istari moved his seat closer to the stage for convenience.

The best eyecandier award was won by The_Vandhaal who re-appeared from the darkside in a puff of flames. Yeebaagooon winked at Vandhaal and advised him to remain seated, he'd like the next bit.

Massive applause rose from the audience as it was announced that The Vadhaal had got Best Campaign, Best scenario cinematography and Best Cinematic for The Corruptor! An extract from the movie played on the big screen, and some people were moved to tears.

Next up was the Best modpack award many modders sat bolt upright at this point. It was then decided that the winner was by far, The Legends Of Middle Earth! Huge applause rose as the LOME team transformed into nazguls and screeched towards the stage. Yeebaagooon put on his witch king costume and flew around on his fell beast before giving flowers to each of the LOME team.

He flew towards the temporal core and skillfully dodged the lightning bolts. He threw up a diamond tablet he had brought from the space station containing his entire quote archive and the timeship got another buzz of juicy power.

And now for the Modpack of the year award and the resounding winner is: The one with a name so long it can't fit on the big screen! Yeebaagooon gasped at his screen not being wide enough and asked 'Why does everyone use Latin? Seriously, what's the point?' in fluent Latin. The screen then turned sideways and the full name of Senatus Populusque Romanus Tendo Vobis. People clapped at the might of the long name and another trophy was given away.

But the excitement was not over as The Best Modder award loomed. And it could only be Stephen Caines! Stephen danced up to the stage with his modded skeleton to the dismay of Out Reach. He sent an army of his nutcracker mod to retrieve his award. Yeebaagooon tiptoed gingerly over them to put the trophy on the floor where they could get it.

The Best RMS was won by TwentyOneScore's Middle Earth map. Yeebaagoon resisted the nazgul this time, instead going for Gandalf. He weaved the trophy out of light and shouted 'YOU SHALL NOT PASS!' to TwentyOneScore, who passed anyway to collect his trophy.

As soon as he left the stage, he then had to go back up again for the Best RMSer award.

The Best Cinematographer Award was split between two people, and many could guess who. HailToTheOboe transported his trophy in a circle around him so it fell gracefully into his hands, while The_Vandhaal's trophy fizzled into the dark side.

The best utility was up next and it was none other than nottud's editor superpack. Nottud bowed to the audience before immediately garrisoning the trophy in his hand. He used the height changer tool to rise above his seat and enjoy his applause.

And finally for this block, the best critic/reviewer was one by Khan&Steak. The duo high fived each other before going up to the stage to collect the final trophy. They delighted us by reciting the review guidelines from memory.

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You may be wondering how all these changes are possible. The entire timeship is in a state of temporal flux. Yeebaagooon is constantly jumping back in time to change something - and then cleaning up the timeline. To make the screen wide enough to fit Senatus Populusque Romanus Tendo Vobis onto it, Yeebaagooon had to buy a new screen from Tutankhamun, the once infamous black market pahraoh creating dangerous rumours of an alien crash. Unfortuantely this new screen was so big it crushed Tutankhamun, so Yeebaagooon took all his stock and as a result this once insignificant pharaoh became a legend of Egypt. All at the price of The Genesis Device not being invented in 1993, after Howard Carter would have found alien technology. Oh well, that slight screen size now means that Mugabe lives.

Yeebaagooon loaded a shovel with a heapful of kittens, before throwing them in the furnace and powering up the ractor once more.

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'And now we go onto the winners of the 10 new awards that designers have elected this year!' - said Yeebaagooon. His face showed no mercy from the previous kitten incineration.

'The most helpful playtester is at a 4 way way tie between Terminator_Ace, PurpleWorm, Chimera1804 and Yeebaagooon!' The three designers made their way up to the stage and another Yeebaagooon from the future came to present the trophies. As the Yeebaagooon from the present went back into the past, the future Yeebaagooon became the present Yeebaagooon.

'And now presenting the best scenario designer of the year, and with releasing a shameful two maps this year it is that lovable rougue Yeebaagooon!'

This time the Yeebaagooon that came from the future received the award. It was then taken by the present Yeebaagooon who traveled into the past to present it to himself.

The rest of the audience that had not had their brain baffled by the temporal weirdness were delighted to hear that the 'How did he do it?' award went to Elrich.

Elrich pulled back his fist and sped towards the stage on a surf of HTML. The wave travelled extremely fast and created an HTML tsunami that swept Yeebaagooon away. The audience laughed as he franticly tried to close all of the tags before falling victim to the blink tag and flickering out of existance every few seconds. This clearly delighted a good many people. Elrich used an HTML hook to fish his trophy from the air.

'The most useful trigger' said Yeebaagooon before flicketring out of existance. 'is the'. 'Trigger loader and transform'

As the trigger loader team came up to the stage Yeebaagooon vanished once again. Invent00r began a complex mathematical calculation and created a trigger to stop Yeebaagooon vanishing to the dismay of most of the audience. Yeebaagooon used the transform trigger to transform the audience into novelty items as punishment.

After transforming the audience back, the best new designer with 100% of the votes came up to the stage. He was the one they call azeusdude2. He shook Yeebaagooon's hand and proudly showed his trophy to the audience while Yeebaagooon scribbled a few quotes down.

The recent power feeding resulted in the crowning of Elrich and Firefax for Best new scenario idea (Thrynn and King Of Food). Yeebaagooon spawned 503 errors to protect himself from the HTML this time. Firefax chose an interesting method of approaching the stage. He created a golden slide and then melted it. Many people screamed as the molten gold slushed around the timeship. After it had solidified Firefax could no longer move, but he was happy to stand in the corner like a statue and hold his trophy.

The most intriguing story award created a spectacular sight of two trophies being collected by one person. The person doing the collecting assignment was AnnoDominius for his ROME and Mesoamerica scenarios. The roman took a bow to the citizens of the timeship before holding the golden eagle up high. The eagle was promtly consumed by the temporal core and was sent back in time to the time when the Roman standard was being considered. And so Rome held the golden eagle up high, and effect preceeded cause in yet another temporal incursion.

Next up it was the most prolific designer of the year award. And on the first year of this new award, it was decided that this award would go into the trophy cabinet that belonged to The_Vandhaal! The_Vandhaal entered the timeship again and Alex came out to serve him a variety of sweets on a golden plate.

The final award for the new awards was the best project presentation, given to the sexiest thread. And yet again it was an award to be won by AnnoDominius for The Lost Ruins of Mesoamerica. What a sexy thread.

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It was the final award block and Yeebaagooon fed his entire quote archive to the core for maximum power.

The Pointless award is given to the most humourous work. This year there were 2 winners. And the winners were Baske and Yeebaagooon! The winners were Codename Ripto (even though it hasn't been released !) and Vegetative State. The two partners in crime filled their trophies with opium and cocaine for Yeebaagooon's secret plantation and exchanged high fives. Baske smuggled his trophy back and began to sniff.

The CheeZy award goes to a special forumer who has been incredibly productive. This year Mythic_Freak was taking the title. The delighted Freak (genius ) made him was to the stage creating new triggers as he went. He changed his trophy to various items on the stage and even pulled a rabbit out of it.

The penultimate award for this evening is the Gaurdian Award. (Guardian?) Given to the person who has acheived the most in AOM design recently. And everyone knew the answer before it was given. It looked like The_Vandhaal had yet another trophy to add to his collection. He grraciously received the platinum trophy and gave it a kiss of success. 'Spirits of flame, come to me!' he roared as Yeebaagooon ducked out of the way. An inferno rushed towards The_Vandhaal, and if Yeebaagooon had not ducked when he did, his buttocks would have been thoroughly roasted.

The medium-rare Yeebaagooon ordered a clean up of the time ship, and his mum appeared with her dreaded cleaning trolley. Out Reach felt the points of the duster of death, Mephiles choked on the Cillit Bang (but at least his stomach was clean) and Elrich suffered the full wrath of the demon hungscortchi vacuum cleaner from inner bamboozlia.

After the timeship was spotless, Yeebaagooon turned the lights out and there was silence. Only the hum of the core could be heard and the forumers felt time wash over them. The core illuminated the stage as Yeebaagooon spoke for the last award.

The Shiva Award is dedicated to the memory of the great former seraph Shiva. This award is presented to the AoMH forumer or staff member who exhibits the same outstanding leadership, compassion, helpfulness, and charisma that our former Seraph embodied. And this year the winner is Yeebaagooon. The forumers clapped appreciatively as Yeebaagooon received the final trophy of the evening.

The lights came back on, and most forumers went off to the holodecks to play some AOM maps. Tainted Love by Softcell played throughout the timeship as some forumers left the temporal world behind them and reintegrated into the timeline. Yeebaagooon was accused of cheating in Minigames X by using the timeship to travel back in time and give himself cheat codes for the map.

After a holodeck session Yeebaagooon gave his final speech and bidded the forumers a fond farewell. The vortexes sprung up once again and a releived Koramei faded from the timeship. Yeebaagooon chuckled. Koramei reappeared in a small damp room and was forced to write a Ripto playtesting report. She commited suicide shortly afterwards but was brought back by Yeebaagooon to complete the report.

The designers returned to reality, bringing this year's ceremony to a close.

Thanks to Elrich for double checking my votes.

[This message has been edited by Yeebaagooon (edited 03-03-2009 @ 04:10 PM).]