Imagine yourself, alone on a beach. Suddenly a body floats up on the beach, unconscious.

I rob the person and kick in the persons ribcage for the hell of it. Don't need to read the rest.

So, you would just kick his ass and then walk away with a life on your conscience for the rest of your life. If you do CPR, it's great chance he will survive.

Day 1:
I wait 15 minutes. That man doesn't wake up, I search for something sharp and resort at cannibalism eating his meat. Then I take his bones and make a SOS message( like I the entry I made for CSC in Lost round) with them.
Day 2:
Then I try to stop the meat to spoil and I wrap them into some large leaves. I try to eat just a little piece of meat every day, so I won't run out of food.
Day 3:
No plane, nor helicopter, nor ship came near the island. I try to make a boat with some resistant, but soft wood, then sail into the sea.
Day 4:
I can see some stormy clouds on the sky. I don't feel very well; the food spoiled and the boat seem to be damaged by the waves. But, it starts... the storm started.
Day 5:
I barely survived after the storm. It's so good that it ended. One of boat's logs is broken and I'll try to use it as an oar. But,... what do I see? It's a city. I'm close to civilization.
Day 6:
After I landed, some friendly men came to see what' happening. They told that I'm in Australia and they will try to bring me back in my home country.
Day 7:
I slept very well in my hotel room yesterday. It is good to see myself safe again. Those people that I met yesterday bought me a plane ticket to bring me back to home.
Day 8:
I returned home. My mother was so happy that I'm alive. Now I'm happy too that I'm back and I can't believe that I have eaten human meat.

[This message has been edited by Fanica (edited 12-08-2010 @ 02:40 PM).]

"What's with all these bodies floating around, did Scuddles start a Desert Island Survival again? Oh well."

Then I would go back to sleep, or have a long detailed discussion with the other survivors about how deep the latrine should be dug.

Is it impossible to have a reasonable discussion on these forums?

No, but I'm still thinking about my serious answer.

Is it impossible to have a reasonable discussion on these forums?

Not with Aro/morgoth/Bart around.

Please keep it serious then, PLEEEEEAAASSSSEEEE

Just oral herpes you say?

Put a sock in his mouth, turn him around and blow in air from the other direction.

Is it impossible to have a reasonable discussion on these forums?

Short answer: No. Long answer: Nooooooooooooooo.

Just oral herpes you say?

Put a sock in his mouth, turn him around and blow in air from the other direction.

Or just use it (or basically anything) as a makeshift mouth guard. (Unrelated: This was one of Google images result for "cpr mouth guard." Wacky.)

Then again, if a dead-looking body lands on a beach and it's been in the water for a long time I think it'd be hard to confirm if they've got a case of herpes or just general results of being probably under the sun (they'd have to have been face up most of the time to stay alive) and being soaked in salt water for a while. Either way, makeshift mouth guard. Yeah.

Unless you're hungry in which case you can rationalise that they're going to die anyway and eat them. I mean, I love sea food.

Not with Aro/morgoth/Bart around.

Oh, so I'm not not-serious and off-topicy enough?

or have a long detailed discussion with the other survivors

read the OP.

okay take it from someone who has been in this situation.
first thing i do is bury the body. then i would immedietly scout AND map the island taking careful notes of the locations of clean water, food sources and suitable camp locations.

then build a shelter near the nearest patch of berries.

now that my food source is running low ill make a few spears to start hunting locally wildlife.

then i would build a barracks and train a few militia to defend against flushes.....

[This message has been edited by murray jnr (edited 12-08-2010 @ 05:27 PM).]

This thread is a bit like some of the ones that Faddy used to make, except that Fake Basse is obviously, for some (perhaps sinister) reason very passionate about the subject. What've you been up to, you scoundrel?

I'm actually waiting until Bart replies. That way I can judge whether my response will be suitable or not

I would buy a camera, prop the body upright, and produce a stop-motion film of him doing the Soulja Boy dance.

There you go.

Also, OWM, you're not disruptive enough.

[This message has been edited by Peralta (edited 12-08-2010 @ 06:01 PM).]

You can perform life saving functions without oral contact:

1, the lungs are probably full of water, so, rescue breaths are pointless anyway. Immediately start chest compressions to force water out and keep the heart going.

2, call for emergency professionals.

3, call a lawyer. How much money will you get if you save his life and you get herpes?

Let someone else deal with it.

Since a few new studies are saying that you don't need to do the mouth-to-mouth portion of CPR most of the time, do chest compressions while placing an emergency call on my Bluetooth headset.

To follow up ax and myself: most non-professional CPR training assumes that if the subject is not breathing then their heart is not beating. Like ax said, you leave out rescue breathes in some more modern procedures, including the Red Cross (though I think right now they are 30 compressions to 2 breathes).

That being said we can pretty much assume that the victim suffered from asphyxiation so rescue breathes would be a requirement. We can also pretty much assume that the victims lungs are full of water which would negate rescue breathes.

So, like ax and I said, chest compressions until more qualified medical assistance arrived.



Ultimately we don't know enough to make an good judgement on the best course of action.

1, the lungs are probably full of water, so, rescue breaths are pointless anyway. Immediately start chest compressions to force water out and keep the heart going.

This is a very good point. I love it how we can nitpick the hell out of these things. But yeah, I've only had some really basic CPR training. Heath Ledger would've probably survived had his er, maid? or something known CPR, so guys it's essential to know CPR because who knows, you might some say be some celebrity's bitch and you might end up saving their life!

Also, OWM, you're not disruptive enough.

I'd stop imagining.





I win. Or, is that a so worn out excuse for an answer?

[This message has been edited by The Unconvincing Spook (edited 12-09-2010 @ 09:51 AM).]

Guys, I never said you were on an island with nobody around! I just said you were on a beach, alone. mouth-to-mouth would be necessary in this situation though

mouth-to-mouth would be necessary in this situation though

But we have established it would not be effective, so, is it necessary?

Bah, if you don't do mouth-to-mouth he dies, no matter what you say! And mouth-to-mouth is standard CPR anyway... Why do they learn it if it is as "ineffective" as you say?

Imagine yourself, alone on a beach. Suddenly a body floats up on the beach, unconscious. You turn the person around to find out that he is alive, but not breathing. Exactly when you're gonna do CPR, you see that the person suffer of oral herpes!

What would you do? If you don't do CPR, the person will die!

Mouth-to-ass. Oral herpes can't be spread via the ass. At least, it hasn't in my experience, and this can accomplish our presumed motive of getting action while alone on the beach. Alternatively, you could give him a blow-job, but that's being a little forward. He'll be breathing pretty heavy after this.

This is pretty god damn sick by the way. You're so friggin' gross Basse.