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Topic Subject: Kenji's Story: A Samurai's Journey
posted 05 January 2006 12:17 EDT (US)   
I wrote this a while ago, and posted it once before. But, unfortunately, either no one read it, or no one posted comments. Yes, its different, having to do with Samurai and all, and yes its writting from a persons point of view. So should I scrap it, or continue? Please let me know. And I appologize in advance if this re-post annoys anyone.

Kenji’s Story: A Samurai’s Journey

Chapter 1: The First Lesson

My name is Kenji Yoto, I wasn’t always a Samurai. In the old days, I was known as a blacksmith in the Kakunodate District. It was a Samurai District and I was hired by the damiyo, Hide Yushi, a wise and skilful Samurai. He requested I live there among them, and provide the most exquisite steel. Of course, I accepted. This was a great honour for a blacksmith as myself. I always respected the ways of the samurai, and secretly yearned to learn their talents and skills.

Hide Yushi was the leader of this village and was master to about 200 Samurai warriors. Brave and proficient warriors each one of them was, and as loyal as they could be.

My story begins the first day I was hired by Hide Yushi, September 1st, 1750.

It was I who asked the question. Always so interested in the ways of the Samurai, and to this day, I wish I had not. I learned the hard way of what a Samurai must practice and accept when it comes to loyalty to his master.

Hide Yushi requested my presence at his town hall to witness one of his meetings. Secretly he knew of my passion for the Samurai style; he was an intelligent man. The hall was beautiful, yet plain. Bamboo was set for the floor, and walls, covered in some parts by silk and cloth. In the middle of the main room, where the Samurai would meet to discuss matters, there was a fire pit set for warmth. Unusual compared to most Japanese buildings, but unique. I entered this main room where Hide, and his captains were already seated. They formed a circle and Hide was set at the top, just under the village’s emblem. The very minute I entered, all Samurai stood up very quickly, turned and bowed; I did the same. Truly honoured I was, for blacksmiths were never considered equal. I felt as though there was an ulterior motive for my presence.

“Kenji-San.” Hide spoke in a soft, yet powerful manner.

“Welcome, please, have a seat.”

I nodded and placed myself knees first in the only open space there was, right beside Hide himself. It was like a bar, smoky, full of Sake, and loud tough men arguing about. I was under the impression that Hide was the only master at this meeting, but I was mistaken. Every single on of these captains was assigned certain Samurai for their apprentices. Hide was still the head master of this village, but believed that his captains were capable of teaching and passing on their knowledge. A very generous and unique Master Samurai he was.

“Kenji-San.” Hide addressed me amongst the commotion.

“Yes my lord?” I replied quickly.
“Surely you must have a tongue, you just spoke, don’t you have anything to say in our conversations?” Unusually asked Hide.

Without hesitation, and surprising Hide and the rest of the Samurai, I asked.

“My lord, I have only one question.” The question I now regret asking.

“Please Kenji-San, speak, you are considered equal among myself and the Samurai living here.” Replied Hide. A statement that would never be said anywhere else in Japan.

“Lord Hide-Sama, I’m interested to know what the single most value a Samurai must hold.”

Hide Yushi laughed and stated that it was a very important question, one that all Samurai had a different opinion about. I knew I had just stirred up a mess. All the Samurai in the room were staring at me, even the servant woman kneeling at the sides of the room. Each one with their own unique grin. Somehow, I thought that the entire room would break out with arguments. Not at all; professionally, they started at the first man sitting to Hide’s right.

Goro firmly said. “Courage my brothers. Without it, armies would flee, and evil would prevail.”

The Samurai nodded and some said it was an important virtue, but not the most. Next in line was Kano.

“Power! A weak Samurai is no Samurai at all.” He shouted, as he was a significantly large individual. Muscles as big as my head, for I was a slender fellow.

“Intelligence I believe” Said Asano. “What is courage and power if a man cannot think, without thought, his talents and values are useless.”

A powerful line thought the rest, and I was amazed, even as Samurai, men still posses their own opinions. Then calmly, Yugi Sanata, the youngest Samurai in the room, only 20, said.

“Loyalty, for if a man is not loyal, his values and skills serve your enemy.”

Silence stood still, all Samurai glanced toward Hide, awaiting some response.

“Yugi Sanata-San! A strong statement my friend.” Said Hide.

It seemed that everyone was interested in this answer alone. Quickly and forcefully, Kano said.

“Loyalty, Hah! What does a youngster like you know of loyalty?”

Yugi quickly stood up, and glared at Kano, not saying a word, and gripping his katana. Yugi’s dark eyes were all one could see. This young Samurai was uniquely skilful in the art of stealth attacks, and therefore wore a black outfit and mask covering his identity. Kano quickly stood up as well. Before both men could draw their katanas, Hide raised his hand in the air signalling for them to sit down. They obeyed.

“Yugi Sanata-San, your courage impresses me. Is it your wish to fight and possibly be killed by Kano?” Asked Hide.

“My lord, I will obey anything you ask.” Replied Yugi as he bowed.

Hide quickly shook his head and suggested that they settle this with a competition. Both Samurai agreed. The competition would be a test of loyalty. Kano and Yugi would call one of their apprentices into the room and give them an order. The one whose apprentice would ask any question regarding his order, or hesitate would lose.

“Yugi-San.” Said Hide. “What shall the order be?”

“My lord, I will demonstrate with one of my apprentices, Minoru, and Kano will follow after my test is done.” Replied Yugi with confidence.

“Very well. Kenji-San!” My heart suddenly jumped as Hide addressed me. “Will you summon Minoru for us?”

“Of course my lord.” I responded as I arose from my spot, and bowed to all the men in the room. As I walked to the door, I glanced over at Yugi and noticed a very serious expression on his face. It made me suddenly not want to summon Minoru, for I had a sick feeling in my stomach, knowing I was the cause of this whole situation. But I had my orders, and unexpectedly, it felt like I had a master of my own, or so I wished.

When I found Minoru, he was a magnificent sight. Sitting so calmly, sharpening his katana, he looked up at me. For a moment, I feared him, not knowing what to expect. But again, I had my orders.

“Minoru-San?” I asked just to be certain. He quickly jumped up and bowed. I took it as a yes.

“Your master requests your presence at the main hall.” I said firmly. Without notice, he re-equipped his katana, and took off running. I tried to keep up, but he was fast and swift. It was a good thing the hall was in eyesight, for I would have certainly lost him.

Entering the hall, Minoru had just kneeled in front of Yugi, with his katana lying right beside him. I noticed that the captains in the room had all moved themselves to the sides, in order to give way for the contest. Hide quickly signalled me to stand by him for the best view, since it was I who asked the question. Then Yugi slowly turned his head toward me and said.

“Kenji-San, remember this my friend, remember this.” His eyes were still, and sad, yet proud.

Remember this I thought with a puzzled look. Why? Then it began, with Yugi’s eyes still fixed on mine.

“Minoru-San!” Snapped Yugi.

“Yes Master.”

“Kill me.”

Without hesitation or question, Minoru ripped out his katana like the wind and sliced off Yugi’s head. As soon as Minoru saw his master was dead, he swiftly wiped the blood off his katana, set it aside, pulled out his wakizashi, and threw himself on the blade, ending his own life. As the two bodies filled the floor with blood, tears ran down my face, and everyone was in shock. Mouths wide open; some with their heads down, it was a horrific sight. Bodies both twitching, and the woman in the background screaming. As I regained my thought, all I could see was Yugi’s eyes looking at me so peacefully before his death. Knowing I was the cause of this outcome, I was sick and disgusted. Thinking I might be in trouble, I looked toward Hide and Kano, but they were silent with respect and honour for Yugi and his apprentice Minoru. Everyone suddenly realised that loyalty was the most important value a Samurai must hold. Anything was possible when loyalty was fulfilled.

[This message has been edited by Undefeatable (edited 01-06-2006 @ 09:23 AM).]

Replies:
posted 05 January 2006 12:31 EDT (US)     1 / 24  

Best start of any of these stories that I've read. You seem to have captured the 'atmosphere' perfectly.

Some of the constructions are a wee bit clumsy 'camly and firmly said' for example. But that's to nit pick.

Excellent.


Civile, si ergo fortibusis in ero. Vassis inem causan dux. Gnossis vile demsis trux.
posted 05 January 2006 13:09 EDT (US)     2 / 24  
Good story Undefeatable. Keep up the work. I am really liking the talent I find around here in authoring.

A wise man speaks because he has someting to say, the fool speaks because he has to say something. Don't be a fool. Put thought into your post.
posted 05 January 2006 15:57 EDT (US)     3 / 24  
Furius Venator :: Thank you for the comment. Your words are very kind. As for the little nit pic, I agree, and i have actually changed that little part. Again, thank you, and I appreciate the advice.


crazedbikerdude :: Thank you as well.

posted 05 January 2006 16:12 EDT (US)     4 / 24  
I remember this... I think it was when you were really new...
Keep up the work! We'll force 'em to accept differences! Pfft. White people have a history of xenophobia.

我送你離開 千里之外 你無聲黑白
沈默年代 或許不該 太遙遠的相愛
我送你離開 天涯之外 你是否還在
琴聲何來 生死難猜 用一生 去等待

As Water on Rock
posted 05 January 2006 16:24 EDT (US)     5 / 24  
To pick further:

could a village support 200 samuri? Surely a largeish town and a surrounding network of villages would be necessary.

'arguing about'. Lose the 'about', 'arguing' suffices.

aznninjahitman:

What you say about the xenophobia of 'white' cultures is equally applicable to any other culture. Perhaps you'd like to retract that remark?


Civile, si ergo fortibusis in ero. Vassis inem causan dux. Gnossis vile demsis trux.

[This message has been edited by Furius Venator (edited 01-05-2006 @ 04:27 PM).]

posted 05 January 2006 16:43 EDT (US)     6 / 24  

Quote:

could a village support 200 samuri? Surely a largeish town and a surrounding network of villages would be necessary.

Basically, yes and no. Usually there would be a castle, and would host Samurai that resided in little villages surounding the castle. But, in my story, this is a village, or a district that is among others. The other villages near this one woul also have their own Samurai, but maybe not as many. But as the story progresses, should I write more, you would discover that Hide is widely loved and respected. In turn, drawing many Samurai uder his service. You may call those Samurai Rogue Samurai if you want. Villages were basically little armies of their own, should they have Samurai that lived there.

Have you ever seen the movie Shogun? It has like 4 DVD's and is a long movie. But it shows you a lot, and would basically answer your question. So yes, some villages do house that many Samurai!

[This message has been edited by Undefeatable (edited 01-05-2006 @ 04:45 PM).]

posted 05 January 2006 16:50 EDT (US)     7 / 24  
posted 05 January 2006 16:59 EDT (US)     8 / 24  

I watched 'Shogun' about twenty years ago as a teenager. Liked it a lot.

I'm not very au fait with Japanese history (to say the least) but like the films 'Yojimbo', 'Ran' and of course 'Seven Samurai'.

If English is not your first language, your work is even more impressive.

Anyway, I'll look forward to the next installment.


Civile, si ergo fortibusis in ero. Vassis inem causan dux. Gnossis vile demsis trux.
posted 05 January 2006 18:36 EDT (US)     9 / 24  
Furius Venator :: Ya, it definately was a great movie. And thank you for the advice and questions. Always helps to improve one's self. Agree? More people should do so on here, in a respectful manner of course. What is your age if you dont mind me asking? And, did you see, and or like the movie The Last Samurai: Tom Cruise? I did myself, loved it.
posted 05 January 2006 18:44 EDT (US)     10 / 24  

I'm 38. God, just writing it makes me feel old.

I quite liked 'The Last Samurai'. Ton Snooze isn't my favourite actor mind. The best bit to my mind is just before he's captured when the Samurai are lurking in the woods and manage to terrify the musketmen into firing too soon. Very convincing.


Civile, si ergo fortibusis in ero. Vassis inem causan dux. Gnossis vile demsis trux.
posted 05 January 2006 19:00 EDT (US)     11 / 24  
Well, I'm 24. Dont feel old, sh#%, I have lots of friends your age, and they dont seem old. They sometimes seem like they're more of a kid then I can be.
posted 05 January 2006 20:27 EDT (US)     12 / 24  
This is an excellent beginning, really well done. If I may make one suggestion regarding dialogue, you might want to include honorifics when names are used, as this is how Japanese people speak. For example, those addressing Kenji, would call him Kenji-san out of respect. A lord, such as Hide, would be Hide-sama. This was done when I lived in Japan; even though I spoke English to my Japanese co-workers, they usually called me Lawrence-san, or Lawrence-sensei. If you pay attention to the movie Shogun, this was common then as well(I highly recommend the novel, by James Clavell, along with his later work, Gaijin). I think this would add a more authentic air to your tale.

@Furious---38? You're a youngster, I'm 54.


ATTACK! This is Total War, not Total Wary!
posted 05 January 2006 20:37 EDT (US)     13 / 24  
Furius... No, I won't retract that. However, I will admit I purposely did not elaborate, because as you said, it can easily be applied to any culture. My Sunday School class once decided that in actuality, Japanese are probably one of the singularly most xenophobic peoples in the world, and my own race, the Chinese... I won't even go there.
Ever heard of Middle Kingdom Complex? I mean this entirely academically and not sarcastically, if it would seem that way. I am one of the afflicted. :P
And yes, Akira Kurosawa was amazing, as was The Last Samurai. Shogun... I read that.
Good day, folks.
***********************************************************
Oh, by the way, is this a one-shot story? Or will you continue it?

我送你離開 千里之外 你無聲黑白
沈默年代 或許不該 太遙遠的相愛
我送你離開 天涯之外 你是否還在
琴聲何來 生死難猜 用一生 去等待

As Water on Rock

[This message has been edited by aznninjahitman (edited 01-05-2006 @ 08:39 PM).]

posted 06 January 2006 08:52 EDT (US)     14 / 24  

Quote:

This is an excellent beginning, really well done.

Thank you very much for the kind words.

Quote:

If I may make one suggestion regarding dialogue, you might want to include honorifics when names are used, as this is how Japanese people speak. For example, those addressing Kenji, would call him Kenji-san out of respect. A lord, such as Hide, would be Hide-sama. This was done when I lived in Japan; even though I spoke English to my Japanese co-workers, they usually called me Lawrence-san, or Lawrence-sensei. If you pay attention to the movie Shogun, this was common then as well(I highly recommend the novel, by James Clavell, along with his later work, Gaijin). I think this would add a more authentic air to your tale.

Very good advice. And its funny too, because I know this. Yet I didn't add it onto my story. (Mental Gap) Well, than, thanks a lot Lorentius, and I'll be sure to make those changes right now actually! Again, thank you Lorentius-San. *Bows*

posted 06 January 2006 09:10 EDT (US)     15 / 24  

Quote:

Oh, by the way, is this a one-shot story? Or will you continue it?

Well, I would like to. My other story The Battles For Freedom is still ongoing, but my true love lies within the Japanese history. But, I will definately keep doing both!

posted 06 January 2006 15:46 EDT (US)     16 / 24  
Ok, I have read this story the first time as well, when it was posted, and I liked it. But I wanted to wait untill your next chapter to see where you were going with it. Since it never came, I sort of moved to other stories. I trully hope that you will write the next chapter soon. The audience is drawn to your work, as you can see, but its up to you as an author to weave the story, so that we stay.

Undefeatable, you have a great talent - your imagination. I think its amazing how you are able to write Japanese and Roman stories at the same time. I also admire your passion and need for comments - that shows that you love what you write and need opinions. And NO, I have no negative comments about both of your stories. They are both very graphic and have a realism inserted in them, which make them a pleasurable read. And I can see that you are not writing them out of a complete boredom and lack of anything better to do. You have put time and energy and a lot of advertising (lol). And I repect you for that - you love your work.

Just one suggestion - don't stop to write, waiting for replies. I am reading your stories, but you must keep writing!!!

posted 06 January 2006 16:19 EDT (US)     17 / 24  
Antigonus::: Thank you very much. Very flattering and motivating. Although, I think you may be too kind.

Quote:

You have put time and energy and a lot of advertising (lol). And I repect you for that - you love your work.

Lol, ya I advertised way too much! People got pissed at me and began avioding me. But I was ignorant to the rules or morals people hold on here, and I quickly accomodated. With pleasure of course.

And yes I have put much time and energy into both of these tales. Especially The Battles For Freedom. Which is the first story I've writtin since the 11th grade. And I'm 24 now, so thats like 6 - 7 years. But thats all part of it right, the passion and love for the art of writting and entertaining. Again, thank you vary much, especially for the respect!

Undefeatable

posted 08 January 2006 18:09 EDT (US)     18 / 24  
Hey, Undefeatable, any chance of part two sometime soonish? I'd really like to see where this story goes.

Civile, si ergo fortibusis in ero. Vassis inem causan dux. Gnossis vile demsis trux.
posted 08 January 2006 18:13 EDT (US)     19 / 24  
Yes,

I agree with Furius, and since that doesn't happen very often, you know we are justified in asking for updates.

Don't let it die again!!!


"The road to IMMORTALITY is covered with blood and bones of those who stood in our way. You see the carnage on those distant battlefields - in the forests of Germania, the deserts of Africa, the mountains of Armenia, and the sands of Babylon - where our armies have triumphed and became IMMORTAL." - Antigonus[IMMORTALS]
posted 09 January 2006 10:41 EDT (US)     20 / 24  

Quote:

Hey, Undefeatable, any chance of part two sometime soonish? I'd really like to see where this story goes.

Yes, I will be starting it today. I've been kinda busy lately and hadn't had much time for either stories. Coming soon though!

Quote:

Don't let it die again!!!

The people have spoken, so it shall be.

posted 09 January 2006 16:37 EDT (US)     21 / 24  
I sadly don't have time to read trought this right now, but I'm sure it's good. I'm just wondering if you will update 'The battles for freedom' soon? You havn't in a long time.

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posted 10 January 2006 10:10 EDT (US)     22 / 24  
Steace43 :: Im working on The Battles For Freedom right now. I'm having a little mental block, so its taking me a bit to get it going.

I'm also working on the second chapter to this story, Kenji's Quest: A Samurai's Journey.

So stay tuned. I'll work as fast as possible

posted 10 January 2006 16:33 EDT (US)     23 / 24  
It looks realy good, the only beginning that I've seen that MIGHT match this is 'battles for freedon'.

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posted 11 January 2006 16:24 EDT (US)     24 / 24  
Total War Heaven » Forums » Bardic Circle - War Stories & AAR forum » Kenji's Story: A Samurai's Journey
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