There have been some great zingers on all the RTWH forums. It's time to gather them all up and record them in one thread. Submit them here and I'll judge if they are worthy of inclusion here in the title post. I'm quite exacting so only the creme de la creme get in.
-The quote must be reasonably short. Whole multi-page essays or conversations will be too unwieldy.
-It could have been said on any RTWH forum, this is simply the repository.
-It doesn't matter when it was said. Some of the quotes from oldies long gone are still brilliant. I'm sure there was a thread somewhere devoted to Doikie quotes.
-If it's your own quote, you can still submit it as I'll judge whether it goes into the title post or not.
-Try and post a link to the quote rather than copy and paste it. I prefer primary source material and exact quotes.-
-Don't assume I've seen all the recent ones. I've the memory of a goldfish.

I'll start:

"Are you going to encrypt your brainwaves or somehow shield your mind from liberal penetration?"
-D Furius Venator on new improved conservative technologies

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He113ent: Ooh look, the idiot speaks!
D Furius Venator: And he’s discovered the caps lock. What a clever boy…
mebertus: Either that, or he has incredible shift-key skills.
He113ent: Ah, an idiot-savant perhaps? Or just plain idiot?
mebertus: I think we might have an Idiotus Domesticus on our hands - the common idiot, bred by our socialist society.
He113ent: Not exactly an endangered species in this day and age...I think its safe to hunt 'em

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"Who or what is Adder"?
- PanzerLeader asks a pertinent question

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Thank you, MudokonGod, for clearing everything up. Now we can finally put this long-standing debate to rest.
Wow, I feel good...you feel good? I know I feel good.
- Hell3ent after resolving the lyrics of the fishy fish song

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If you shoot George W Bush, then I'm afraid I'll have to give you an official warning at the very least.
- Yakcamkir clears up a misunderstanding regarding the CoC

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Yakcamkir, I am offended by you name. For I am a Yak.....
- MaximusDecimus points out a gross violation of the CoC

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no..... can you divide?
1200 divided by 60 is not 20
- Greek Scavenger excelled at mathematics

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Hey everyone: For those of you who are frustrated or annoyed with my name, I appologize, its just a name. I dont consider myself undefeatable against anyone here, or the CPU for that matter, I was just referring to my campaign on medium setting, and I was new here as well.

So again, Im sorry if my name annoys or bugs anyone.
-Undefeatable standing proud

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Do you really want Doikie doing admin for the army?
Orders like this:
"deliver food and water to US army base, grid ref H1234 9876"

will become

"drop napalm and cluster bombs on AQ training camp, grid ref H1234 9876"
-Gaius Colinius pointing out the obvious

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Homosexuality runs in my family
-Firefox gets frustrated with the trait system in RTW

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Is it just me or do the Britton's, Spanyard's, Galic's and Barbarians suck big time? They all wage war with me daily! Yet even if im out numbered 2-1, my troops just destroy them! Its almost genecide! LOL. Example, Briton had 1900 troops (give or take 50 or so) and I had 785! I had to even come out of my stronghold and meet them! I charged cause they wouldnt, and DESTROYED THEM! I killed 1888, they killed 180! LOL, is it the same for you people? Cause so far, I havent had a challenge!
-Undefeatable living up to his name

Turn the battle mode off easy.
-lmao has some useful advice

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Why the hell do you think I asked to be unbanned? I had forummers scratching my windows begging me to come back. It was keeping me up at night.
-Doikie learns that leaving HG is a little like the film Misery

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Firm and Fast they call him? That's enough to harden my nipples.
-Rubber Soul raises a few eyebrows

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Hey man welcome to HG im the HG drug taking alcoholic slut.
Let me tell you something. I have shagged, humped nd dumped, cheated on, kissed, felt up, almost got pregnant. many girls with boyfriends. Who cares if they have boyfriends BUT even i have standards.
-Seany flies the flag for "morality"

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"i have 128mb of ram no graphics cards, and p3 proccesor, i cant get a new computer right now, since im selling my house"
-ksaleminik asks if his computer will be able to run tetris

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"CTDs? Computer Transmitted Diseases?"
-georgio armani queries a common RTW problem

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Welcome to the Baths. Please leave your name, age, and blood group on the side- that way we can decide if we want you for dinner or not.
-Enemy of Jupitor extends a warm welcome to a gatecrasher in Roman Party IX

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An insurance company... helping... customers... ERROR.
-Doikie on logic

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I wonder if anybody's ever watched a Panda... you know...
-Kaiser

I'm sure you could find it on the internet if you really wanted to, but it might cost you a couple of bucks a month subscription, and then you'd have to explain to your mom why she's paying 5 bucks a month for something called "Hot_Panda_Action.com".
-Hell3ent gives some thought to the matter

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I find your lack of taste disturbing
-Darth Doikie addresses the young padawans

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He'll make a debut in the new movie Finding Nemo II - Finding Emo.
"What's wrong with your fin?"
"I cut myself too much."
-Mebertus extends comfort and sympathy to an under the weather Misplacedgeneral/Misplacedemo

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like seriously, man. Popeage = ownage.
-Mebertus states the fundamentals of the catholic church

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Now now, no cannibalism. It's not specifically in the CoC, but I think that eating each other would come under the heading of being "counterproductive to the forum community."
-Yak doing some more clarification regarding the CoC

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There are three kinds of people in this world: people who know how to count, and people that do not.
-Mebertus. Need we say more

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I hate pikemen. I hate all of them. I never have any success with them unless it's on overwhelming odds. I always find them easy to beat. I hate Levy Pikemen. I hate Phalanx Pikemen. I hate Silver Shields. I hate Bronze Shields. I hate Royal Pikemen (don't tell me it isn't a pikeman, it sucks just as much). I hate Pontus Phalanx Pikemen. (this deserves a seperate mention). I hate Pontus Phalanx Pikemen (this deserves to be mentioned again).
-Firefox and his love for pikemen

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I usually frown on such threads as attention-seeking and pointless. But I figured that if I posted one, people might care.
-Firefox on the unpleasantness of compromising his own standards

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On the film 300 based upon Frank Miller's graphic novel
"All they [The Persians] need is four rhinocerouses and an elephant, and the Spartans are all dead"
-Andariel

"Therein lies Miller's genius. You see, the Persians DON'T HAVE AN ELEPHANT! Thus they are doomed to failure..."
-D Furius Venator

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"I might not mind, only because you'll get rid of that signature, and stop that stupid scroll bar."
- Mebertus

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Im 16 and in a very srious relationship with bits on the side ofcourse cos the first one is falling apart. So ive experianced alot in a relationship. And im older thn 12 lol.
-seany boi

Have you perchance, in these 16 years, looked at a "Dictionary"? Or Attended "School"?
-blunderboy

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and lets hope Bush does not pull a Gaius Julius Caesar on congress.
-Lenardius VII

Perhaps he has the decency to be knifed to death in the Senate?
-Nikephoros

'Et tu, Colin? Then fall, Dubya'.
-D Furius Venator

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I could just see Darth Vader being grey and neutral:
"Give in to the Dark Side!...or don't...whatever...I mean, its your life, right?"
-Hell3ent expounding on the possibility of no absolute good/evil

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The problem with the dark side is that that black uniforms attract too much cat-hair.
-Hell3ent again

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We shall not yield our 12 inches
-DominicusUltimus correcting a forumer who suggested that he "wouldn't yield an inch".

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I hurt on the inside...really...its tearing me apart. I'm a dirty, dirty boy.
-Hell3ent has a confession to make

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Mr Pot, meet Mr Kettle, and look - he's black too!
-Hell3ent

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The missing E was a typing typo.
-Misplaced. As Meb pointed out, Misplaced has a blinding flash of the obvious.

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Have you considered obsessive behavior, such as stalking, obscene phone-calls, telling her that you love her, and that if you can't have her no-one can?
Remember, that restraining order is just her way of playing hard to get.
-Hell3ent on "how I married my wife"

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I know that guy....
you could say...Fawking hell
-Lenardius VII on Guy Fawkes

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Yeah, sometimes I almost wish I had a Playstation, but then I remember that I like characters to have something a little more than what Final Fantasy offers. Something like, oh, I don't know, a gender.
-Legio Yow incurs the wrath of FF fan[atics] the world over

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This is the story of a man who almost barely changed the world, and died trying. A man who died for absolutely nothing, and yet will still be remembered as the greatest of his kind. A man, who when presented with a spoon, demanded a fork. A man who despised every other human entity in the known world, a man who didn’t sorta kinda almost make a difference.
This is his story. Almost. Actually, roughly half of it is about his stupid lackeys, but I think he would have wanted it to be about just him. So we’ll just say it is, okay?
-Siamese begins the maddest and possibly most memorable war story of all time. Full text here

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Area 51 is a military testing ground, and saying Canada has an Area 51 is implying they have a non-equestrian military.
- Legio Yow gives the Canucks more heartburn

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...But... However can we live without the approval of the intelligentsia? If Kman doesn't approve of us, how can we possibly live?
-ArchDruid hits a despondant note on HG relations

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Everyone is entitled to my opinion.
-Yuri Andropov

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A gun emplacement kicks the hell out of New York.
-Misplacedgeneral suggests that living standards in the big apple fall somewhat short of the western front circa 1918

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And then it was once again time for the head-wall interface to begin.
-Andrew Dunn sums up the debate threads

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Alexander. .. Greatest. . . Do you like honey on your pickle?
-Misplaced getting his priorities right

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And who's Zen
-Legion of Hell commits blasphemy of the highest order. 2 units of inquistors rush to the scene. 23 forumers treated for shock.

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I am hoping to slowly forge TWH into a bastion of respect, honour, trust, loyalty, morality, and power.
-Imperial Justice has some modest plans for TWH

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LOL
-Antigonius

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[This message has been edited by Gaius Colinius (edited 12-06-2006 @ 12:46 PM).]